


Trust

by denna5



Series: Worth the Fight [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Brainwashing, Dubious Consent, F/M, M/M, Memory Alteration, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:06:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 55,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denna5/pseuds/denna5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The aftermath of the events of Winter Solider, the struggle between forced loyalty and the lingering after effects of choices made.  Will be multi chapter and will have tags added as needed.</p>
<p>Written for this prompt<br/>Rumlow was a charmer and he was happy to be assigned to get close to Clint before the rise of Hydra. After The Battle of New York Rumlow got close to both Clint and Steve given that they all worked on the same team. Clint was assigned to a solo mission during the events of Winter Soldier for a reason, he was sent into a trap and taken to one of the new Hydra owned bases for Rumlow once he got back...</p>
<p>Any has a crush on Clint and feels like they missed their opportunity with him. When Hydra rises their first priority is to find Clint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the continuation from Prize and Promise. This will be a slightly different format and feature lots of point of views. Will try to post updates as soon I can but I am working on lots of different things right now. Hope you enjoy.

_There is a bright light, Clint can feel it, almost see it even though his eyes are closed. He thinks it would hurt to see it and so he keeps them closed instead, listens to the noises around him. There are footsteps approaching._

_“I don’t think we should loosen the straps ,he almost made it out last time.”_

_A voice, speaking softly but he can hear them just barely. He should open his eyes so he can see them, make out the words better but he keeps his eyes closed. There is another voice now and the two voices are closer to him and he stays still._

_“He did make it out but he came back, almost got them out as well. Surprised he wasn’t killed for that.”_

_“The asset is still missing and he is already secured here, maybe he will be the replacement if Rumlow doesn’t recover quickly enough.”_

_“He is a good shot. All right, pretty sure he is waking up. You can get the dosage ready.”_

_There is quiet for a few moments and Clint can hear other noises, things being gathered. He can hear someone get closer to him and he feels a tug at his arm, the strap covering it being adjusted. He opens his eyes, sees two men near him. He is in a room, a glass wall near by and there is someone outside of it watching them. The figure outside the glass just gives a nod and one of the men comes closer, a needle in his hand. The straps are removed from one of his arms. He doesn’t move it, keeps it there._

_“We need your arm.”_

_It is a command. Clint tenses for a moment before nodding and then raises it up. It doesn’t seem odd to listen to them and he sits still as they find a vein. He is still and calm till they start to inject him. When that happens, he starts to thrash and he is held down till all the liquid is in his system. They strap him again, tighter this time and then they move him out of the room. The figure is still there and he is watching him closely as they take him to wherever it is._

_“You are making progress, Barton, but it appears more work is still needed.”_

_Those words are said with an accent and Clint can’t really place it or the speaker and darkness is starting to creep in around the edges of his vision. He gives into it and closes his eyes again._

Clint’s head is throbbing, a dull ache, and the beginning of a headache. It has been there for the past half hour, a constant nag but he ignores it, focuses on his task at hand. He has a com in his ear that is thankfully silent right now and a clean line of sight. This is his first mission in a while and that must be what is causing his tension, this annoying pain in his head. He has to just stay still a little longer than he can take his shot, get in, grab what is needed and head back to the base.

The moment comes and he lets loose his arrow. It is a clean shot, hits the target perfectly and the man slumps forward. Clint is out of his spot quickly, in thru the window, to the computer. It does not take long to get the information on the drive, to unleash the virus. He grabs his arrow as he leaves, doesn’t want to take the risk of leaving evidence behind. He is out the window again and out of sight before any security shows.

“It is secured, will be delivered shortly.”

He speaks so that the com hears him and gets an affirmative as he makes his way back to the base. The headache is getting worse but the mission is completed and all he has to drop off the drive and then he can go to their room and sleep it off. He enters the base, tries to give it to the first tech he sees but he is told he is to go straight to the man in charge. Clint isn’t thrilled about it but he follows orders, hopes it won’t take long as he really just wants to lay down and make the sharp pain in his head go away.

He is told where he is and Clint heads there, not thrilled that he has to go to that particular hall. This part of the base is one he doesn’t like to go to, has tried to avoid it this last month that he had been here, those days after he had woken up and still wasn’t sure what was going on. There was something about this hall, with its’ cells and equipment that just sets him on edge, makes him tense up. He still comes down here sometimes, just when they are here because he doesn’t want them to get lonely but they aren’t down here as much anymore since they have started to be good and so Clint hasn’t had to come down here the last week.

He walks along the hall, making his way to the end of it. There is a row of cells and thankfully none of them are occupied, the twins behaving and not getting privileges taken away. He had been planning on seeing them when he got back but the pounding in his head does not make that a likely scenario. Instead he walks further down the hall, sees two figures near a computer looking it over. They turn to him as he gets closer, one giving him a nod and the other addressing him.

“Ah, Agent Barton, I heard you have something for me.”

His accent and tone of voice is not helping with his headache but Clint just comes closer to Strucker, holds the drive out to him. His head is still pounding but it is good to see Brock up and about, his body now almost healed and the man comes closer to Clint as Strucker takes the drive.

“It is all here, sir. The latest plans, the only copy, and the target is dead.”

“Very good. Let’s make sure, shall we?”

He loads it up and as he is looking it over, Brock turns to him.

“It go smoothly, no problems?”

The question is asked, Brock’s voice holding just a bit of apprehension in it, of anticipation. Clint isn’t sure why he is nervous, Clint has done many missions, this one not really any different from the ones before, the only difference being he isn’t pretending to be SHIELD anymore.

“Went smooth, left no clues.”

His head still hurts and so he rubs his temples as Brock places a hand on his shoulder.

“You alright?”

“Fine, just a bit of a headache.”

Brock nods at Clint’s words, keeps his hand on his shoulder, rubs it. The touch is nice but Clint almost shrugs away from it. He doesn’t and Brock rubs little circles into his shoulder as Strucker turns to them.

“It is all here. He is a good asset, Rumlow .”

The last words are spoken to Brock and Clint can’t really can’t focus on them because of the pounding in his head.

“You are both dismissed.”

Brock nods at the words and Clint starts to turn to leave with him.

“Hail Hydra.”

The words come from Strucker and Rumlow returns them. Clint feels a tightness in his throat, can’t say them right away and he isn’t sure why. Brock’s hand is still on his shoulder and he tightens his grip a bit, and when Clint gets a glimpse of his face, it is a clam mask but his eyes are just a little wide, like he is worried about something. Clint just wants to leave this room, focus on getting rid of his headache but he knows what Strucker is waiting for. He swallows and then speaks.

“Hail Hydra.”

Those words come out more sure than Clint is feeling but he has said them before, many times , remembers saying them before and it must just be the fact that he doesn’t feel well that caused them to stick in his throat .Strucker just gives a simple nod at them and Rumlow squeezes his shoulder, a smile on his face now as they leave the hall, head back to their room.

Clint enters first and the first thing he does is sits down at the table. It is covered in files right now, Brock looking over things as he hasn’t been cleared for action yet, and Clint touches a few of them as he sits. The pounding is worse in his head, a sharp pain, a nagging feeling that he is not remembering something but he ignores it and looks at the papers. There is a picture that catches his eye, one in color, and it is the red hair that draws his attention. He picks it up, can see the woman in the picture clearly, Natasha. A part of him wants to know where she is, when this picture was taken, if she is alright and another part of him reminds himself that she isn’t really anything to him, that it was just part of his job to get close to her.

“No reason to think about her right now. How’s your head?”

Brock is next to him now, takes the picture out of his hands and starts to stack up the files.

“Feels like a brick keeps hitting it.”

The answer gives him a snort from Brock as he puts the files down and goes and gets a bottle of water and a small bottle. He hands the water to him, Clint taking it and opening it. Brock shakes a few pills out and starts to hand him those as well but Clint shakes his head.

“Just need to lay down in the dark.”

“These will help, make it go away faster.”

They look like just some little aspirin but Clint really doesn’t want to take them even though his head ache is getting worse. He still doesn’t take them out of Rumlow’s hand.

“Don’t like drugs.”

“Not trying to poison you. You trust me, don’t you?”

It is such a simple question and there is a pause as Brock waits for him to answer.

“You know that I do.”

It is the only answer he can give, even with all the confusion and pain in his head right now, Clint knows that he can trust Brock Rumlow.

“Then take the damn pills.”

He holds them out to Clint with those words. He opens his hand, lets Rumlow drop them there. He pops them in his mouth, takes a swallow of water. They go down his throat easily enough.

“There, happy jerk?”

The name just gives him a tiny bit of smirk from Brock.

“Was that really so hard? “

Clint doesn’t say anything and Brock puts the bottle down and stands behind him. He puts his fingers on Clint’s head, rubs his scalp. It is soothing, helps relieve a bit of the pain radiating from his head.

“I still want a nap.”

Sleep sounds like a good idea, Clint just wanting to not think for a little bit till the pain goes away.

“We can do that.”

Brock stops rubbing his head, leads him to the bed and dims the lights. Clint removes his outer layers quickly, pulls the covers back and lays down. Brock comes and lays next to him, places his hand back in Clint’s hair, the touch possessive. Clint just closes his eyes, enjoys the little circles Rumlow rubs along his scalp. They lay like this and Clint relaxes, starts to drift off to sleep. As he does so, he can hear Brock murmur something.

“You are safe with me, we make a great team, the two of us. Hydra is going to rise again, better than before.”

Clint just lets himself fall asleep, those words in his ears and Rumlow holding onto him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So don't expect an update every two days, I just got these first couple of parts done quickly. I am hoping to get another part of Jagged Pieces finished soon so that will be my focus for a bit. Hope you enjoy.

*********

Everything has been different since the fall of SHIELD, the revel of Hydra and Natasha had made SHIELD her life . It is has been difficult to adjust to the truth of everything, to know how much had been hidden from all of them. There were even more lies than just Hydra, things that Fury hadn’t even told her and she understands why he did the things he did but that doesn’t change how the lies hurt. She feels a bit lost, needs to find herself but first she has to find Clint. She owes him that, owes him so much.

Natasha is used to tracking down targets, finding people who don’t want to be found, having the patience to wait till they make a wrong move but this search has been different. It has only been a few months but they haven’t found Clint or Barnes yet. Natasha has been on much longer searches but this one is trying her patience. They have almost all of Hydra’s files, all the ones that she leaked, copies saved since they have been taken down by now, and others that they have found but it is still not quite enough to give them a solid lead and she is frustrated. If it was a target, she would not be so worried about waiting so long but this is Clint and that makes it different, just like it had been different when Loki took him.

She is relooking over a few things now, doubling checking the dates and locations. It is more of a lead than they have had for a while, an actual location that may be a Hydra base and she is just making sure that it is worth checking out. They can’t spend time checking out each possibility themselves.

It has been a while since she has slept more than a couple hours and the computer screen is making her eyes tired but she doesn’t move away from it, looks over all the information she has. Her neck is stiff and she twists it, hears a little crack. There is someone coming to her and she can smell coffee. There is a voice soon and a cup in her line of vision after just a moment and she turns away from the screen for just a moment.

“Figured you may need a pick me up.”

It is Sam and she thanks him, takes the cup and takes a sip of it right away. It is fresh, no milk and brown sugar instead of white, just how she would make it for herself. He asked her once how she took it and he has remembered and gotten it for her like that since. It is a small gesture, just a sign of what a normal, sweet guy he is and Natasha is still adjusting to him. She is not very used to normal, her ideas of normal have been skewed by the fact that she has a tendency to be surrounded by people who are anything but. Sam Wilson is probably the most normal person she has had contact with in the last few months and he still flies around on mechanical wings on occasion.

“Find something?”

He asks while he sips his own coffee.

“Maybe.”

She goes back to double-checking what she has seen and he leaves her alone. It only takes a few more minutes and she is sure that this is a lead to follow through on.

“Found a base, it is near where Clint was supposed to be and hasn’t been hit by anyone yet. It needs to be checked out soon.”

“We can head out as soon as Steve is back.”

Sam is close to her now, looking at the screen.

“You don’t have to come .It is going to be dangerous and you don’t really know Clint, if there is something else you need to do, you can stay here and we can contact you later.”

He has been with them every step so far but she is giving him an opportunity to walk away. He shakes his head.

“I don’t know him but I know he is worth finding, worth saving. He has to be a great guy since you care for him so much.”

There is a compliment in his words and Natasha isn’t quite sure how to feel about it.

“Besides, I like to travel sometimes. I’m going to go get stuff ready.”

There is no more argument and she just gives him a little nod, a silent thanks. He walks away and she finishes her coffee, jots down the location.

_She sits in a tiny booth in a rundown little coffee shop, her companion across from her. It is a corner booth, away from all the other people but still has a good view of the door. Natasha hadn’t picked it but she can’t complain, it is a good spot. They have things that need to be talked about without being over heard and this will work out well enough once the waitress leaves them alone._

_“So anything else you need? Sure you don’t want some ice for that bruise?”_

_They have already placed their order and have their drinks but the woman is looking over at him, has been eyeing him and giving shy little smiles to him since they showed up. Natasha is pretty sure she isn’t overly concerned with the bruise that is above his right eye, an ugly purple line, just trying to get his attention._

_“That won’t be needed, just caught a punch the other night, barely hurts.”_

_Barton smiles as he says this and the waitress seems even more charmed by him. Natasha can admit that Barton has a certain amount of appeal to him but she really doesn’t want this waitress bugging them the whole time because she finds him cute. She will discourage her attention._

_“He was defending my honor.”_

_She puts a smile on her face with those words, leans across the table and brushes a kiss across the bruise. As a second thought, she places one on his mouth and he doesn’t shy away, seems to know what she is doing and he returns it, takes her hand and holds it as she settles back into her seat._

_“Can’t let people mess with my girl.”_

_He leans towards her when he says this, brushes her hair away from her face before settling back against the booth. Natasha smiles again, keeps a hold of his hand and gives the waitress a look out of the corner of her eye. The woman looks very disappointed and is staring at their joined hands as she tells them that she will put their order in right away. They stay with their hands interlocked as she walks away._

_“You are very good at preforming.”_

_Barton says this as soon as the waitress is out of ear shot. Natasha pulls her hand away, no longer wears the adoring expression that she had just a moment ago. She shrugs, takes a sip of her water._

_“I didn’t want her pestering us. People get uncomfortable at affection.”_

_He gives her a nod, seems to understand and there is a tense silence now. She can play at lover with Barton for others’ eyes even if her real relationship with the man is not so simple, not really enemy anymore but not really friend yet. They have been together the last three days, neither killing the other though the bruise on his face is from her and Natasha has an almost matching one across her ribs. He was sent to kill her and hasn’t, instead offering her a choice, one he was not supposed to and one that she is considering taking._

_She has been offered things before, money, power, chances at an ordinary life. He isn’t offering her ordinary, seems to know that is something she can’t have but what he is offering her is a chance to erasure some of the red, a chance to make her own choices. She is still trying to decide who she is, just knows that she can’t be what she was before and now he is here and she has to decide if this is the right path._

_“Have you thought about it?”_

_She gives him a little nod but not an answer, not yet. He waits just a moment before speaking again._

_“I can let you walk away but if we cross paths again, it can’t be like this.”_

_It is a warning, he is telling her that he is only going to disobey this time. She appreciates that he has been blunt with her or at least he seems to be. He could be lying but she has been taught to read people, to know what they need, can tell when they are being genuine. If this is some sort of trap, she isn’t sure what is the point of it, and if he is lying , he is better at it than she is. There is hardly anyone better at lying than she is._

_“What happens if I go with you and they don’t agree with your offer?”_

_He takes a moment before answering her question and she waits, takes a few more sips of water. She wears a clam mask, doesn’t show anything she doesn’t want him to see. His answer is important, will help her decide._

_“If they don’t see the value in you, I’ll help you leave. Leave with you if that is what happens.”_

_His words are serious. This isn’t just a risk for her, it is for him as well, he is risking his position at SHIELD for her. He has told her why he is giving her this choice, has told her that he thinks she deserves a shot at redemption just like he got one and now she realizes that he truly believes it. It helps her make her choice._

_“What will we do if we have to leave?”_

_It is a yes even if she doesn’t say that word and he understands that, gives her a little smile and she continues speaking._

_“Runaway to the circus?”_

_She asks this as a tease, something she is not quite used to doing when it isn’t a part she is playing, isn’t being used to get what is needed. He had told her a little bit of himself and that was one of the details that stuck out to her and that is why she mentioned it now. He is silent for just a moment and she fears she has crossed some line when he just leans back and speaks._

_“We could. I remember my act, still have the tights even.”_

_“Do they still fit?”_

_“Not sure but if they don’t I’m sure I can find more purple spandex somewhere.”_

_Her lips turn upwards for just a second at his answer, the closest she has gotten to a non-practiced smile in a long time. She is enjoying their little banter so she keeps it up._

_“And what would I do? Be your assistant and have knives thrown at me? I would catch them out of instinct and I don’t know if that would sell tickets. ”_

_He chuckles just a bit before answering._

_“We could practice. If you don’t want to do that, you would make a great lion tamer. Or if you wanted no one to recognize you, you could be the bearded lady.”_

_She raises an eyebrow at him now and he is grinning just a little bit._

_“I’m not growing a beard.”_

_“ You wouldn’t have to, we could just glue on some dog hair.”_

_She shakes her head at him, still not sure what to make of him. She is going to trust him for now, take a chance and hopes it works out._

They did not waste time once Steve was back from tracking his own unsuccessful lead. Once he was told that she thought she may have found where Clint was taken, he was ready to go. He is just as invested in finding Clint as he is Barnes. Natasha thinks it makes sense in a way. Barnes is his tie to his past and Clint is part of his present.

The base was not too difficult to invade, security lacking for the most part. It is not a good sign. The less security a base has usually means it is less important.

“Not much staff here but maybe we can find something out.”

Those words confirm that Steve has the same worry as Natasha does.

There are still a few things here but the base is pretty bare bones. There are signs that there used to be more here and Natasha knows that they are on the right track, it just so happens that Hydra is a few steps ahead.

The only people here are the small amount of security and a few technicians, no one that seems to be in the upper ranks of Hydra. They subdue them, most of them still alive. Steve watches all of them closely, makes sure that they don’t have anything in their mouths. He told her once that Hydra used to avoid capture and interrogation by any means and he still expects that.

The techs that they have here don’t seem to be fanatics and no capsules are swallowed. She questions some of them, doesn’t find out anything specific about Clint but she gets some information, hopes it will be enough.

“Anything we can use?”

Steve asks her as they leave the base, after making sure that it will be cleaned up by the right authorities.

“Not much.”

It is the truth but she tells them both what she knows.

“ It was fully functioning around the time of Fury’s attack but once Hydra was reveled, personal and assests were pulled away.”

“Did they say where they were pulled to?”

Sam asks and Natasha shakes her head.

“They weren’t high enough clearance to know. The only thing they knew was that this base was to be cleaned up, they must have known we would find it.”

Hydra is trying to hide its tracks and they are still so many steps behind them, Natasha hates it. She continues speaking.

“The biggest piece of information they had was who gave the order. I just have a name, only one.”

“What’s the name?”

Steve asks, probably wondering if it is someone they are familiar with .

“Strucker.”

The name isn’t familiar to any of them. Natasha just hopes it is enough for them to be able to find out at least if Clint is still alive soon.

“Well, it is not much but it is more than we had.”

That is all Steve says and they make their way back to somewhere safe for the rest of the night, none of them talking about their disappointment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit more. Please let me know what you think.

*********

_Brock is in a bed, various tubes attached to him and his skin feels tight, itchy almost. The burns are healing and thanks to all the work that was put into making sure he lives, there won’t even be much scaring. There is some pain but he doesn’t mind it. It serves as a reminder that he is alive, that though Hydra’s recent mission failed it can still be rebuilt because he is here to see it done. Strucker has come to see him, has informed him of what has happened, how much they have lost, but there is one question he hasn’t answered yet that Brock needs to know._

_“What about Barton?”_

_He keeps his voice calm, asks the question as casually as he can. Strucker is looking at him right now and he keeps his face neutral, doesn’t show any of the anxiety he feels right now._

_“Ah, yes, your prize. He is secured, has caused a bit of trouble. We have started to recondition him, have thought of having him serve a different purpose.”_

_Strucker is watching Rumlow closely, gauging his reaction. Brock keeps his face blank, doesn’t show anything that he may be feeling. He wonders if they have already decided that Barton isn’t going to be his anymore. It is not an idea that Brock likes._

_“I was promised him.”_

_He says this simply, knows that it was Pierce who promised him and Pierce is dead. It shouldn’t matter, Rumlow has served loyally, is not one that Strucker wants against him._

_“I am aware of that, Agent Rumlow. We were not sure if you would survive at first, started to prepare other arrangements in the case you did not. No reason to waste him.”_

_“Has he been wiped?”_

_He needs to know just how much has been done to Barton, how much of Clint still remains. He can appreciate the solider, admire him, but he wants Barton, not a blank slate. He waits for Strucker’s answer, tries not to look anxious about it._

_“ Not completely. We have left most of him intact, have been working on his obedience, his loyalty. What you are wanting is not as simple as the solider, is more difficult but it is an interesting experiment.”_

_The way Strucker says this reassures Rumlow just a bit that for now at least, Barton is still going to be his. Strucker wants to see if this will work._

_“Do you still want him?“_

_Strucker asks and Brock answers with a simple yes._

_“Then we will start to rewrite him for you.”_

_“I want to be involved.”_

_There is just a flicker of annoyance on Strucker’s face but he gives a simple nod before he leaves the room. Barton is his and Rumlow is going to ensure it, make sure that no backup plans are being placed to rob him of this._

Brock is starting to get a bit stir crazy, hasn’t left the base much since he woke up a couple months ago. He should be cleared soon and he has kept aware of everything going on but it doesn’t change the fact that he hasn’t had a mission since before he was injured.   He looks over all the files once again, more to pass time than needing to see the information, when a voice distracts him.

“Bored of those yet?”

Clint has entered the room, sits down across from him. He had a briefing with Strucker earlier, no doubt has been given another mission. Clint has been sent out a few times these last few weeks, has been used now that this conditioning seems to have stuck. Brock still closes the file before he answers him, doesn’t want him seeing the picture of the Widow and the Captain. No reason for Clint to think about them even if most of the attachment he held for him has been wiped from him.

“Yep. You heading out again?”

“I leave in fourteen hours, should be a quick one.”

“Alone or are you taking the brats out again?”

Clint’s eyes narrow just a bit at Rumlow’s nickname for the twins.

“You only call them brats because they like me better than you but they are going. They did well the other times, this one should be fine as well.”

He is being sent out with the twins repeatedly and Rumlow may have to talk to Strucker about it. It shouldn’t be a problem but he wants to make sure that Strucker remembers Barton is not here to be a baby sitter for his little projects. For now he just shrugs.

“You going to take them out for ice cream after again?”

“Probably.”

There is a grin on Clint’s face with his answer. Rumlow shakes his head a bit at him. Barton has always been nicer to them than most here, even tried to take them out of here before he was reconditioned. Not that any of the three of them really remember the escape attempt now. Rumlow would be worried about it but his fondness for the twins gives him another connection to Hydra, secures his loyalty a little more.

Rumlow gets up, puts the files away and turns to Clint.

“I need to get out of the room for a bit, take a break from these files. Want to spar?”

He gets a nod and they leave the room for a little while, go and train. Brock has regained almost all his strength now and Barton is better at close combat than most people give him credit for, it is just the distraction he needs to combat the restlessness. This was something he hadn’t been able to do with Clint before, most of the time they spent together was after missions. When he pins Clint down, he holds him there for a little bit, enjoys his fight. They end the sparing after a while and then they go to the range for a bit.

Rumlow fires a few rounds but for most of the time, he simply watches Clint. Brock may be better at close combat than him but he knows of nobody that is a better shot than Hawkeye. Not even the solider is better at this.  Clint destroys a few targets and gives Brock a smile after he is finished.

Clint is becoming more comfortable here, looks less unsure as the days pass. Brock thinks about it as they go back to their room, how the others here are starting to talk to Barton, are not avoiding him as they did when he was first allowed to walk around the base. They were weary of him, after all he caused quite a bit of ruckus, but once it was apparent that he wasn’t going to do it now, some people are warming up to him. He is still watched closely, steps ensured to make sure that the conditioning, the wipes, and the altered memories are sticking. It seems that it is, even the headaches Barton was having at first are less frequent now and he has been functioning as an agent for them just as well as he had for SHIELD.

“You think you’re going to be cleared soon? Might be nice to run a mission together.”

They are back in their rooms, making a quick dinner when Clint says this. It makes Brock grin just a bit.

“I’m being looked over in the morning, might be cleared then. When you come back from babysitting, I might have something we can do. “

Rumlow has just the mission in mind, just needs to get it approved by Strucker who has the highest rank now that Pierce is gone. Clint talks as he slices the vegetables.

“ Sounds good. Like I said earlier, I shouldn’t be out with this one very long.”

“What exactly do you guys have to do tomorrow?”

He asks and Clint tells him the details as they finish their food and then sit down for dinner. They discuss it, a few other things as well. They clean up, sit down and watch TV a bit before going to bed. They don’t go to sleep right away and it doesn’t take long for clothes to be shucked off and for bare skin to be touched.

Barton is on top of him, in him, his body a nice warm weight. He is being slow tonight, a little gentle. Rumlow has discovered now that they don’t always have to be rough, that this can be just as good. Even though they are being soft tonight it doesn’t stop Brock from putting his mouth on Barton’s neck, to start to suck a bruise on it. Clint’s hand tightens on his cock a little bit and his thrusts increase a bit. Brock bites down when he comes, not hard enough to draw blood but enough that the sharp pain sends Clint over the edge.

They clean up together in the bathroom and there is already a bruise forming on Barton’s throat, the teeth marks there right now but they should fade by morning.

“You marked me, asshole. Did you have to make it so big?”

Clint is staring at it in the mirror, fingers touching it gently. There isn’t much venom in his voice and Brock simply smirks at him as he answers.

“You seemed to like it at the time.”

“Yea but they are going to notice it, might ask about it.”

A little part of Rumlow can admit to himself that the fact that the twins will see it is part of the reason he put it there. He likes people knowing that Barton is his. He doesn’t say this. Instead, he just smirks a little bit more when he speaks.

“They are almost legal to drink, I think they know about the birds and the bees.”

“Doesn’t change the fact I really don’t want them to ask me about fucking.”

He has moved his fingers away from it now and Rumlow runs his along it instead. He likes the little shiver that seems to run through Clint at the touch.

“Stop your whining and let’s get some sleep.”

They go back to the bed, fall asleep. In the morning, they wake early and Clint heads out. Rumlow goes and gets looked over and he is healed enough that they give him the all clear. He goes and looks over his files one more time and then he is off to find Strucker. It isn’t difficult and soon he is in front of him.

“So you are cleared for field work now. I assume you have something in mind.”

Strucker already has some files out, probably has an idea of what Rumlow is going to ask for.

“The asset hasn’t been recovered yet. I would like to look for him. “

“Very well. You may assemble whoever you need, head out as soon as possible.”

‘’I’m taking Barton.”

This gets a shake of Strucker’s head.

“Agent Barton is on another mission.”

“We will head out when he is back. You can send someone else out with the twins for a while.”

“He has a way with them, I would prefer he be available to work with them.”

The way Strucker says it makes it sound more like an order than a statement. Rumlow has figured that this may come up at some point but he isn’t going to budge on this.

“He will be able to work with them again, after we secure the solider. I am sure his retrieval is a high priority .”

Strucker is starting to look a tiny bit annoyed but he nods. Hydra has put a lot of time and effort into the Winter Solider, they cannot simply let him not come back. Rumlow is sure there will be no more debate but Strucker speaks again.

“Now, I am not trying to deny you your chance to have Barton as your partner, he has been a very useful asset and you are the one who brought him to our attention, but there are other factors to consider. I am sure you are aware that there are others looking for the solider and I am sure you are aware of who they are.”

He is talking of the widow and the captain.

“Yes, sir. It is part of the reason why I want Barton with me. “

Strucker is looking at him with a bit of curiosity now.

“Why is that?”

“They will be comprised when they find out where he is, who he is working with now. It will throw them off their game when they find out Barton isn’t SHIELD.”

Strucker is thinking about it, Rumow can tell by the way he glances at the files.

“They won’t believe that he has been Hydra this whole time.”

Brock knows this. The Hydra files now link Barton to them since his recruitment to SHIELD but that was only done within the last month, the original files have no signs that Barton was theirs.   He tells Sturcker what he has thought about.

“It doesn’t matter if they believe it, Barton does. He doesn’t think of them as old friends anymore, thinks of the widow as an assignment now and has no memories of being any thing more with Rogers than a teammate, but they will think of him as a friend and it will make it difficult for them to fight him if it ends up coming to that.”

Stucker nods a little bit at his explanation. This may be a risk but Rumlow is confident that Clint is right where he belongs now, is how he should have been in the first place. He wants Barton to get the solider with him, wants him by his side as he should be.

“Very well, when he gets back, you two will go and retrieve the asset. “

Rumlow thanks him, starts to leave the room but Strucker’s voice stops him.

“Make sure you find the solider, bring him back, if we lose him, we may be forced to make do with the assets we have now.”

It is a veiled threat but Rumlow understands it clearly. He grits out a yes sir as he leaves. It won’t come to that, Rumlow will make certain of it. He has plans and he isn’t going to give up Barton now that he has him. Strucker will find that out the hard way if he does any of what Brock thinks he may.

*********


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy.

*********

The mission is over and the kids did well, very well. Clint goes over everything with them afterwards, tells them what they can do better next time, makes sure no evidence was left behind. He can tell they don’t enjoy this part and he doesn’t blame them, this is his least favorite part most of the time, the cleanup and the paper work. It doesn’t take too long to finish that up and Clint is looking at the time before asking them a question.

“So that didn’t take us long at all. You want to head back to base or find something to do for a couple of hours?”

“Don’t want to head back yet, let’s do something.”

Pietro says this, his words coming out a little fast and Wanda gives an accompanying nod. They like being off base and Clint really can’t blame them. It is just the three of them on this one and so Clint thinks it is ok to take them out for a treat, maybe a movie or something after. It can help them work on blending in to crowds or at least that is what he will tell Strucker if he asks about it but the man hasn’t given him grief for the other times Clint has done things with them off base, is only really concerned that the mission gets down and the twins come back in one piece.

“All right, we can go get shakes again if you want.”

This gets him a smile from both of them and they head out, find a local ice cream place. They keep to themselves there, the twins sitting down in a corner booth while Clint orders, careful that he won’t be noticed too much. When their order is ready, they take their ice cream and go, deciding to take a walk. Clint walks in the middle, Pietro on his left and Wanda on his right. It is a fairly nice day out and they enjoy taking the little stroll. There is just one thing that is bothering him a bit.

“Would you two stop looking at my neck?”

He doesn’t say this very loud, doesn’t want to draw attention but he does sound a little annoyed about how often their gaze has been on his neck the last few minutes. He knew he should have worn something with a higher collar but it is too late now and both twins keep glancing at the bruise on his neck. He had seen them both see it when they all headed out for the mission but they were too focused on what they had to do that they hadn’t really stared at it much till now. They are trying to be subtle about it but subtle isn’t exactly their strong suit most of the time.

“It is just such an interesting color.”

Wanda says this, eyes still on it as if she is trying to decide just what color the bruise is.

“It is also pretty big, did you get that from a fight or from Rumlow?”

Pietro asks and Clint can feel just a hint of a blush creeping across his skin.

“I think it came from Rumlow.”

There is just a hint of annoyance in her voice when Wanda says this and Clint is reminded that the twins aren’t particularly fond of him. Clint shakes his head at them both, tries to adjust his shirt so that the bruise isn’t showing as much.

“If you two don’t stop talking about then we can go right back to the base.”

It is a threat and it gets them to shut up about it for a few minutes, but only a few. Clint doesn’t follow thru on his threats, lets them tease him and keeps them off base for a little while longer. He isn’t sure why but sometimes he just wants to take them away from Hydra, wants to run away and have them follow. It is a strange thought, they are safe with Hydra after all and so he ignores that thought but they do spend a good five hours after the mission is complete off of base. It is nice but soon enough it is time that they should head back and so they do, even if a part of Clint wants to tell them to run away and not look back.

*********

_It has been years since Steve has been to something like this, to a carnival. The last time he had really been to something like this had been Coney Island with Bucky. This reminds him of that in a way, so many people, lots of lights, full of noise but there are differences as well. The people are clothed differently, have phones out almost every moment and some of the games have very different prizes. This isn’t how he had planned to spend his evening but when Clint had called and invited him to come, Steve didn’t say no. It is hard for him to say no to Clint, he has been noticing that lately._

_“So how rigged do you think the games are? Think I can still win an oversized teddy bear?”_

_Clint is right next to him, gesturing to one of the dart games. Steve gives him a bit of a smile._

_“I would be more surprised if you didn’t. I have seen you at darts, at pool, I think it is harder for you to miss than it is for you to hit it.”_

_Clint gives a little smirk and then they go over to the dart game. It doesn’t take long before Clint has a couple of stuffed bears, bright pink ones and makes Steve carry them around with him. They don’t keep them the whole time, eventually  give them to some kids who have no luck at the games. Once their hands are free of the stuffed animals, they get some cotton candy, eat it as they walk around._

_“You want to ride any of the rides? I’m not the biggest fan but we can if you want to.”_

_Steve really doesn’t like the idea of riding anything here, still remembers throwing up all those years ago but he will ride one if Clint wants to. There is a shrug as Clint tells him that he doesn’t really ride the rides either._

_“I just enjoy walking around these places more than anything, like the atmosphere, makes me think of the circus, back when that was home.”_

_It is a very honest thing and Steve is glad that Clint feels comfortable enough to share it with him. They find a bench and sit down, finish their cotton candy. Clint’s phone buzzes and he digs it out of his pocket, opens it up, and there is a hint of a smirk on his face as he types out a quick reply. Steve tries not to feel jealous that Clint’s focus was taken off of him for a few moments._

_“Sorry about that, just Rumlow making sure our plans for tomorrow are still on.”_

_Steve wants to ask what they are doing, why Clint is spending so much time off of missions with Rumlow but that seems rude. Instead, he asks if Clint wants to try another game and so they get up and go look for something else to do and Steve is happy that Clint’s phone doesn’t go off the rest of the night._

Steve is looking over all the information they have, double checking the stuff that Tony sent them on Strucker. It isn’t much and they are really no closer to finding Clint or Bucky since they invaded the base. He knows that if they could just find Rumlow, if the man is still alive, then they could find Clint but there hasn’t been any sign of him either. There is so much guilt in Steve right now, guilt that is just eating away at him. He can’t help but feel that what has happened to both Clint and Bucky is a little bit his fault.

He should have gotten to the edge of the train sooner, he shouldn’t have trusted Rumlow. Steve should have figured out what was going on with Hydra, should have been able to talk Bucky into standing aside. So many what ifs run through his head everyday, so many things that he could have changed. It is wearing at him and he knows he shouldn’t think that way but he can’t help it sometimes.

“You are brooding again, Captain. I can almost hear it.”

Natasha comes and sits down next to him, looks at the files he has. She has gone over it just as many times as he has.

“Just a lot to think about and I’m ready to find them.”

He tells the truth and she gives him a nod, a sign that she is ready to as well.

“We will. Stark has Jarvis looking through every piece of information available and we have other eyes searching as well. Blaming yourself isn’t going to help any one. “

Her words are blunt and he is starting to understand her more as the days go by. It is good that she is around, that he doesn’t have to go through this alone, that he has her support, Sam’s.

“You’re right. You look nice by the way. Going out somewhere?”

She does, isn’t overly dressed up or anything but her cloths are not what she was wearing earlier and her hair is pinned up.

“Yep, going out to dinner. Sam said he has heard of a good place near by.”

“Thought it might be nice to have a tiny bit of a break from what we can scrounge together in five minutes. Want to come?”

Sam has entered the room now and the offer is friendly but Steve feels like he might be intruding on something so he declines. They leave after a few minutes, promises to keep their phones on and to bring him back something.

He is alone now and he looks back over the files, tries to see if there are any patterns to what Hydra does and wonders if there is something that they should be looking for. They have Clint’s, Rumlow’s, and Bucky’s faces all being searched for, and anything that may look like something Hydra would do. There have been a few things that have registered, that have seemed like Hydra work, but they can’t chase everything and they still aren’t entirely sure why Clint was taken, for what purpose, just sure that Rumlow had something to do with it. Steve thinks about it as he gets up, goes and gets some water and takes a break from looking at the computer screen.

Steve wonders exactly what Rumlow wanted with Clint, why he was spending so much time with him before everything happened. Rumlow had been watching him, watching a few others as well, Steve included, they found that out through the files. For some reason, Rumlow decided that Clint needed to be taken before the possible fighting and Steve is pretty sure he doesn’t like the idea that has been in his mind these last few months, that Rumlow had Clint taken because he wanted to keep him. He is pretty sure that Clint wouldn’t want to be kept so he has no idea what has happened to him now.

There is a beep from the computer that catches Steve’s attention, that causes his mind to lose focus from picturing what Rumlow has done to Clint. He goes to it and there is a message, one that he opens. What he sees gives Steve hope and new worry all at the same time. There was a tiny bit of security feed from an icecream shop that caught just a split second of footage of someone who looked like Clint. It isn’t much and it was taken several hours ago but maybe if there are more photos in the next couple of days, they can find out if it is Clint and what he is doing going to icecream shops instead of contacting them. Steve just hopes that it isn’t for the reason he is thinking about.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a tiny bit more.

*********

The restaurant is small, a little crowded but it is nice enough and the table they get seated at has a view of all the exits. Natasha looks over the whole place discreetly as they are seated, a long ingrained habit of accessing potential threats. Sam lets her pick her own seat, doesn’t hold at the chair for her but waits till she is seated before sitting down as well. The waitress gives them menus and then walks away.

“So are we going to have to possibly make a quick run out of here?”

He asks this, his voice a tiny bit teasing but also genuine. Sam has spent enough time with her now to know of her habits of planning an escape and observing threats of anywhere that they go and he trusts her judgment on it. She gives him a little smile as she answers.

“Nothing dangerous that I have noticed so we don’t have to get our food to go yet.”

They settle into a comfortable silence after she says that. They both look over their menus and then the waitress comes back. They place their orders and one for Steve as well and the waitress leaves them. Sam is an easy guy to be around but Natasha still keeps her guard up around him most of the time, just a long ingrained habit but she is starting to get to know him a bit more and it is easy to sit with him and enjoy his company.

“So what are you doing to do when all this is settled?”

He asks her this and Natasha takes a moment to think about it.

“Not sure yet. You?”

She isn’t sure she has an answer for what she will do once they find Clint. She doesn’t know what has happened to him, what condition he will be in. Sam shrugs at her question before answering.

“Go back to my normal life.”

“I have never had one of those.”

It is a truth and he is looking at her closely. He has seen her past now, almost anyone who would care to look for it has, but there is no judgment in his face when he looks at her, and no real pity. It is one of the things she likes about him.

“Maybe you will one day but normal life really isn’t’ that normal sometimes. “

It is a good thing for him to say and she asks him about stories of the not so normal normal life and he tells her. The dinner is nice, the food tasty and the conversation easy. Sam is a good guy to be around, has helped keep her and Steve both steady these last few months.

The meal ends and it is as they are getting ready to leave, Steve’s food ready and picked up and the bill paid, that her phone goes off. It is just a text and there is a tiny part of her that hope it is Clint somehow but it isn’t.

“Steve just texted me, said we should get home soon.”

She tells Sam this, sends back a reply saying that they are on their way. They both know this means something has shown up. Sam makes a comment about this being the first time that Steve had texted since he has known him.

“He doesn’t like it much. It took Clint a while to get him to do it, to convince him that sometimes it works better than a phone call.”

Steve is still adjusting to technology but he has come a long way from those first few times he tried to send a text. They make their way back quickly and Steve is there at the computer and he shows them what has popped up, a sighting of Clint at an ice cream shop.

“Is that the only one?”, she asks and Steve shake his head.

“Only one the facial recognition found.”

It is more than they had but it doesn’t do them a whole lot of good.

“Was he alone?”

The question comes from Sam. They both look at him and he keeps speaking.

“I mean, either he escaped and went for ice cream right away which is a bit odd or he was with someone. Is there a way to maybe see if any one was with him because then we could search those people out as well, might give us more leads.”

Natasha sits down at the computer, pulls the program up.

“It is worth a shot.”

She runs through the feed, has it search for Clint’s jacket, his clothes, since the face recognition would have pulled up more if it was there. It finds something, someone with his build and his clothes walking to a booth and then out the store with two figures. They are young and the pictures aren’t great but it gives them something else to look for. They will need to keep an eye on things for a little while, but she won’t give up, not on finding Clint.

*********

_The soldier had been broken long before Rumlow worked with him. The wipes had been up keep basically, a way to ensure that the conditioning had stuck and that Bucky Barnes wouldn’t surface and fight. It had not been the easiest thing to watch but Brock knew then that it had been a needed cruelty and now this is the same._

_They aren’t wiping away Barton, just rearranging him, and progress is being made. It doesn’t make it any easier to watch Barton breaking, to see how much pain he is going through but Rumlow knows that it is all needed, that soon enough he will have his prize, that Barton will be safe, will be of use and much more appreciated by him than he was with SHIELD._

_A session has been completed and Barton has been placed on a cot, not bound for the moment. He hasn’t tried to run in a while, generally obeys orders now and it is better if he isn’t tied up as much. It helps reinforce the memories that are starting to be placed in his head, the ones that tell him that he isn’t a prisoner here, that he wants to be here, if he isn’t treated as much as a prisoner. Rumlow sits down next to him, places a hand on his shoulder and Clint looks up at him._

_“Hey, Clint. How’s your head?”_

_He says this softly, knows that Barton has just gone through something painful. He tries to sit up a bit, but he isn’t struggling away from Brock’s hand, is simply trying to sit up and so Rumlow helps him to do so. He is looking at him now, somewhat confused, not sure but he isn’t lashing out and he answers the question._

_“Hurts, feels jumbled up, like I can’t quite remember things right.”_

_He sounds a bit jumbled up but Rumlow is sure it will pass. He has a glass of water with him, offers it to Barton who takes it with no suspicion now. He drinks it down and Brock stays next to him, bodies touching. They are being watched, everything recorded but it is just the two of them in the room now and Brock asks him another question._

_“You remember me, right? Know my name?”_

_There is just a moment of hesitation as Clint looks at him but he doesn’t move away and soon he answers the question._

_“Yes, Brock Rumlow. You’re my friend, my partner.”_

_He sounds less hesitant than he has the other times he has called him friend. Brock likes that answer, knows that things are starting to come together how he wants. He asks Clint if he remembers his full name, his codename and rank._

_“Clint Francis Barton, Hawkeye, field agent, upper clearance, SHIELD.”_

_Rumlow frowns just a bit at this, puts his hand on Barton’s neck and makes sure that he is looking at him as he speaks._

_“You’re not SHIELD, that was a lie, a cover. You’re Hydra, you’ll know that soon enough. Trust me.”_

_Clint looks for a moment like he wants to argue but it passes after just a moment._

_“I trust you.”_

_He says this and it sounds steady. Rumlow has been making sure that one of the most dominant things being conditioned into him right now is to trust him, to have loyalty to Rumlow._

_“You can always trust me, I’ll help get you figured out. You are safe with me.”_

_Rumlow says this to him and then brings Barton’s head forward, crushes their mouths together and there is just a moment where Clint is still but soon he is returning the kiss and it tastes sweet, tastes a little bit like a victory._

“You were right, you and the brats weren’t gone long at all. Did they enjoy their ice cream?”

Rumlow says this when Clint is in their room, when he is done with his debriefing with Strucker. Clint gives him a little smirk.

“They did. Are you cleared now?”

Rumlow gives a nod.

“So we heading on a mission then?”

“Yep, we are going to retrieve the Winter Soldier. I have all the files, if you want to look them over. I planned for us to head out tomorrow.”

Clint goes over to the table, starts looking over the files.

“Sure, but I will need to talk to the twins before we head out.”

Rumlow was expecting that and so he just nods, sits down and starts going over the files. Barton asks questions, good ones, ones about what the soldier’s protocols are if he gets separated from a handler, fails a mission. They discuss all the possibilities, make plans. Rumlow watches him carefully, hopes that reading about what was done to the soldier doesn’t trigger any memories of Barton’s own conditioning. It doesn’t seem to and so Rumlow decides to speak to him about something else as well.

“We aren’t the only ones looking. Rogers and Romanov will be searching, may be looking for you as well. Think you can handle running into them?”

Clint looks up from the files, had stiffened just a bit at the mention of the familiar names.

“I can handle it. It was just a cover, doesn’t matter now. We can take care of them, we know how they fight.”

Clint says this, tone calm and Rumlow is relieved by it. They discuss the mission for a little longer, plan things out. They have a solid game plan for how to track him down by the time they get ready for bed and Rumlow is certain that this is all going to work out.

*********


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

*********

_Clint knows that they have moved him somewhere else, to a different base. He has not seen Rumlow since before they moved him and he has no idea what is going on. His days are filled with pain, with not being allowed to sleep, drugged food, being prepared to be broken and remade. Those first few days he is hardly left alone, is prodded and tested almost every minute. On the fifth day, they leave him alone in his cell and Clint lets himself fall asleep._

_He is woken by the door opening and closing but no one seems to come in. Clint sits up as much as he can in his bindings, looks around. There is someone here, he is sure of it even if he can’t see them right now. He feels something brush past him, like someone is running near him and that is what causes him to speak._

_“What are you doing here?”_

_There is suddenly a figure that stops in front of Clint, a young man. Clint would say he is around 20 and he is staring at Clint right now, looking him over._

_“I was looking for her. Who are you?”_

_The words come out in a rush and Clint notices that he isn’t standing still, that his fingers are tapping against his leg, a nervous gesture that is picking up speed. Clint really has no idea what is going on, wonders briefly if this is a dream._

_“Clint. You have a name?”_

_“Pietro. Do those hurt?”_

_He gestures to Clint’s bindings and Clint gives a nod. Maybe he can get this kid to get him out of the cuffs. He is about to ask when they hear footsteps approaching and then Pietro is gone, moving so fast Clint wonders if he was there in the first place_

_He thinks that the whole thing was a dream for a little while but after a few days, he sees the kid again. It is only a brief moment, as they are moving Clint to a different room and he is barely aware of his surroundings but he gets a glimpse of some of the cells along the hall way. There are two right next to each other and he catches a look at the boy’s face for a second as he runs around the cell and the other holds a girl, one about the same age, wooden blocks floating around her. Clint thinks about them when he is back in his cell, wonders who they are and what they are doing there._

_He meets them officially about two days after getting that glimpse of them. They are all three put in the same room, something needing to be done to the cells. Clint is drugged up and he is pretty sure that they might be as well but they aren’t tied up. They are looking at him closely, at his bound hands and he sees the boy whisper something to the girl and she nods and then gestures at Clint’s hands._

_It is like she throws something at him, some kind of energy and the cuffs break, fall away. He wants to run now but the drugs make him too weak but he is glad to have his hands free, rubs his sore wrists. He looks towards them now, gives a shaky smile._

_“Thanks, nice trick.”_

_The girl smiles at the compliment and the boy moves closer to Clint, puts himself between Clint and the girl. He thinks they might be siblings, maybe twins since they look to be around the same age._

_“You are still here.”_

_The boy, Pietro was the name he gave Clint when they first met, says this. Clint isn’t sure how much he can say, how much he can trust these kids but he nods._

_“Can’t run as fast as you so I’m stuck here.”_

_This gets a smile from the boy now._

_“No one runs as fast as me.”_

_There is a snort from the girl, like she is used to his bragging. It makes him think of how Natasha would react to him sometimes and that makes him wants to leave here but he is not strong enough right now, can’t get up from where he is sitting._

_He stays in that room for a few hours, stays with them. They are given some food at one point, the guards noticing that his cuffs are off but they don’t put them back on. They talk a little, not much, but enough for Clint to find out that they are in fact twins, the girl’s name is Wanda, and that they have been in Hydra custody for a long time. He promises himself that if he can get out of this place that he will get them out too._

“I think you’re cheating.”

Pietro says this as they clean up. They are at a range, it is very early in the morning and they are the only ones there . They were playing a game, one they do often, Clint shooting arrows and the twins trying to prevent them from hitting the targets. This last round he still managed to get some dead bull eyes despite Pietro moving the targets and Wanda throwing some of his arrows off their path. Clint simply smiles at him.

“Not cheating, kid. You just tend to pick the same pattern when you move them so I’m not aiming at where the target is at the time but where you are going to put it. “

Pietro accepts that answer but he still pouts just a bit. Clint doesn’t worry about it, simply walks with them back to their rooms. He still has about an hour before he and Rumlow are going to head out and he plans to spend it with the twins. They weren’t exactly thrilled when he told them that he would be leaving for a while but Clint is sure that they will get over it by the time he gets back. Besides, he got doughnuts and coffee for them and they seem pretty happy when he sits down with them for breakfast.

They eat, talk for a little bit. He likes spending time with them and he hopes it doesn’t take too long to get the soldier back. He doesn’t like the idea of leaving the twins for too long.

“Who will be going out with us now?”

Wanda asks, genuine curiously in her voice. They haven’t been sent out with many people besides Clint, they don’t really listen to many people besides Clint.

“I don’t know but you guys still need to do a good job. I would hate to hear that you had to have privileges yanked while I’m gone.”

“We could come with you, might get finished sooner.”

Pietro says this now and it is a thought Clint has had himself but he shakes his head. There are too many variables involved with this mission and he doesn’t want to put them in danger.

“Don’t know how the asset is going to react and there are others looking for him, ones that aren’t going to be pleased by seeing me. Don’t want you guys caught in the crosshairs.”

They don’t look that happy about that answer but it is the one he has for them. He knows that the soldier is dangerous and that the widow and the captain are looking for him and the twins will be safer away from that. Clint isn’t looking forward to possibly running into them but he can handle it. He hadn’t hung out with Rogers much at all, only a few times with Brock there as well, but he had been close to Natasha, had to watch her to make sure she wasn’t a threat. He can face them, can kill them if he has to, the thought just doesn’t feel right for some reason and he hopes it doesn’t come to that.

“You could just stay, have Rumlow run the mission on his own.”

Wanda says this as a suggestion, as she grabs another doughnut. Pietro nods his head in agreement and Clint shakes his head again.

“We have waited a while for him to be cleared, for us to be able to run a mission together. I’m going.”

He wants to run a mission with Rumlow, has wanted to for a while. There is something in his head that tells him this is how it is supposed to work, that they are a team.

“You like him better than us.”

Wanda is giving him kicked puppy dog eyes now. It is a lot like Pietro’s pouting from earlier. He decides to try to soothe her a little.

“I don’t like him better than you guys, I like him differently. “

“Because you’re sleeping with him, you have to go on missions with him and leave us all alone?”

Pietro says this, gestures to the bruise on Clint’s neck. They are trying to embarrass him and guilt him a bit and damn it, it is working a bit. Clint is blushing just a tiny bit but he keeps his voice clam.

“I’m not leaving you guys all alone. There are other people at this base and I’m coming back. If we are gone too long, I’ll come visit you.”

He hopes this is enough to appease them but it isn’t.

“You are still running off with Rumlow and leaving us to go on missions with some strange agent we have never met.”

Clint lets out a sigh as Wanda says this and Pietro steals the last doughnut. He speaks again, tries not to sound annoyed or like he is explaining his actions though he totally is.

“I will try not to be gone too long but Rumlow is my partner and I have to go with him, watch his back.”

“And I’ll watch yours. You about ready to head out?”

Brock has entered the room now, greets Clint with a smirk that has both twins glaring at him. Clint gives them both a reprimanding look as he gets up.

“Yep. You two need to listen, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Clint says this, gives Wanda a hug and tousles Pietro’s hair.

“Be careful.”

Wanda says this, is still glaring at Rumlow a bit.

“I promise he will come back in one piece.”

Rumlow tells them this as he and Clint leave. Clint walks with him to get their stuff, a little sad that he has to leave the kids behind.

“You know I think they may have a bit of puppy love going on for you, Barton. Should I be worried about competition?”

Brock says this as they load up and it makes Clint glare at him just a bit.

“I’m like twenty years older than them. I don’t think they have a crush.”

Rumlow shrugs, drops the subject but there is still a bit of a smirk on his face as they leave.

*********

There seems to be no record of the two people who were with Clint, at least none that they can find. Steve wonders who they are, why Clint was with them. He hopes that it doesn’t have anything to do with Hydra, that they are just some people he is helping or something, but he has a gut feeling that it won’t be something simple.

They don’t find out any information about Clint the next day but there is a picture of Bucky that surfaces, him at an airport. It is kind of unexpected but Steve is glad to find out anything about one of the people that have been taken from him.

“How long ago was that?”

He asks, needs to know their time window. Natasha tells him that it was yesterday and that she is already looking up the flight, where it went. It turns out he is going to France but there is no guarantee that he will stay there. They still have to try and so they fly out.

They settle in as soon as they get there, get stuff set up. It is just the three of them still but they are keeping contact with Stark and have let Fury know what is going on. They start to do some leg work, look around themselves . They take turns, one resting while the others look, know that they need to keep as well rested as possible.

“We aren’t the only ones who think he is here Stark manage to find a coded Hydra message, cracked it before it was deleted. They have a team here.”

Natasha says this as she looks over something at the computer. She is frowning a bit, trying to find out more. Steve hates that Hydra seems to know just as much as they do, sometimes more.

“I think I can find out who they sent, am checking feeds right now.”

Steve just nods, hopes they can be a bit prepared for this. They need to know who is on this team, what they are dealing with. Natasha is still searching, Sam out getting some supplies. She is checking security feed of airports, of landing strips, of anywhere really. She suddenly stops typing, pulls herself away from the computer.

“No. Not again.”

Her words are angry but also fearful and Steve looks at the computer and what he sees makes him freeze.

There is a picture from a local security feed, one near a landing strip. There is a small plane, one being unloaded and there are figures by it. There are only two faces that can be seen somewhat clearly but those faces are enough to tell Steve what he needs to know. One is Rumlow, the man healed and turned to someone, talking to them. The person next to him is Clint, unbound, no signs of harm and his attention is focused on Rumlow. He doesn’t look like a prisoner and there is something in Steve that breaks to have this fear confirmed, to know that Clint may not see them as friends anymore.

*********


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.

*********

_Watching the movie with Rogers had been fun but now it is just the two of them, Clint and Natasha as they walk away and her mind keeps going back to the bruise on his arm. She knows Clint well, knows his likes and dislikes, knows how he acts and the way he had answered the question about the bruise on his arm told Natasha just enough to know that he is screwing around with someone, she just doesn’t know who._

_Contrary to popular belief held by a large majority of SHIELD, she and Clint aren’t dating, aren’t having sex in their off hours, and don’t keep track of what the other does all the time so it isn’t that surprising that she doesn’t know who it is. She is still curious though She goes through a list, tries to think if it may be any of his past flings. She rules most of them out. He has been spending more time with Rogers lately but she is pretty sure it isn’t him since he asked about the bruise. Clint has been spending more time with Rumlow, been working with his team, some of them fits his type a bit. She is trying to decide just who on the strike team would be the most likely when her thoughts are disrupted._

_“You’re still thinking about my arm, aren’t you?”_

_Clint asks, knows her well by now too, knows her well enough that he knows she is trying to figure out if there is someone she needs to give a talk to. She gives him just a bit of a shrug._

_“You know you could have just said it came from sparing with Steve and maybe I would have believed you.”_

_She wouldn’t have, they both know that but Clint just simply shakes his head._

_“Cap would end up feeling bad about it and might have held back next time we sparred and I don’t want that. Besides, I already told you, it is nothing serious.”_

_“Nothing serious for you or nothing serious for them?”_

_She knows Clint, he cares for people even if he pretends not to. He may be screwing around but that doesn’t mean there aren’t feelings involved and she hates the idea of him getting hurt so soon after the Loki incident. He has horriable luck picking bed partners._

_“It is nothing serious for both of us, just some fun with a new friend, that’s all. Besides, I thought you were more concerned over Cap’s love life right now than mint.”_

_It is a subject change and Natasha knows that she isn’t going to get anything else from him tonight. Instead, they talk about Rogers, about how he is adjusting. He and Clint are getting along fairly well and she is glad for it, thinks it may do them each some good to have the other. She thinks that she would trust Rogers with him but she doesn’t think that is in the cards right now. She just hopes who ever Clint’s mystery person is that they don’t hurt him in the long run._

She had to move away from the picture, needed to not look at it for a moment. It had been easy these last months to think of him as a prisoner, meant that he was still fighting on their side, that when they found him, he would still be their Clint. This picture shatters those thoughts. It is almost like seeing the picture of when Loki took him, only now his eyes aren’t clouded in a fog and that makes it worse.

“They did something. Do you think he is like …?”

Steve doesn’t finish the question but Natasha can guess what he was going to say, that it was going to be a name, one that haunts him right now. He looks upset at the possibility and it is also something she can’t stand the idea of either but there is no way of knowing right now.

“I don’t know. We won’t know what he is like right now till we see him for ourselves.”

Steve doesn’t say anything to that and the next few minutes are spent with both of them looking and then avoiding looking at the picture. It is definitely Clint in it, right next to Rumlow, and they stand pretty close together, seems comfortable around each other. Steve had talked to her about his suspicions before, about how he thought perhaps Clint and Rumlow had been in some kind of relationship or something and it looks like he may have been right.

The room is quiet for a little while, she and Steve both dealing with their thoughts, with what this means now. Clint is on the team assigned to bring the soldier back to Hydra, or at least that appears to be the case. They won’t know exactly what is going on till they confront him, till they see how he acts. There is the possibility that nothing has been done to him, that he has turned to Hydra of his own accord or that he was Hydra in the first place. The second doesn’t seem likely at all but the first idea makes her think about his possible relationship with Rumlow. Clint tends to be loyal but it always to people over organizations. If Rumlow meant enough to him, there is a possibility that he is with Hydra for that reason. That still doesn’t quite seem right to her and she will not raise this possibility to Steve until they know for sure.Her thoughts about this are interrupted by Sam coming into the room, noticing how quiet they both are, the expressions on their face.

“Something horrible has happened or just been found out, hasn’t it?”

This all he says as he starts putting away supplies. They fill him in on what they know, on how Hydra has a team here now, on who is on that team. The three of them talk about it, about what it might change now that Clint may be an enemy.   They make plans to look for Barnes, decide to increase the effort so that they are the ones who find him first.

That night, Natasha has a little trouble sleeping. It is nothing new, she has always been plagued by nightmares, by sins of the past. Tonight is no different and there is one memory that keeps playing in her head as she tries to rest, the fight on the helllicarrier. It is one she can’t push out of her mind. She had managed to win that fight, to win Clint back and she just has to make sure that she can do the same if it comes to it now.

*********

They have a very good idea of where the soldier is, haven’t really seen any sign of the widow or Rogers yet but Rumlow is almost certain that they are here. A part of him hopes that there will be no confrontation between them and his team, doesn’t want to risk Barton seeing them unless it is needed. It is just the two of them right now, he and Clint, and they are going over strategy one more time before meeting with their team and heading out to where the soldier might be.

“Do you think it will be the soldier we find or Barnes?”

Clint asks this Brock turns to him, thinks about his question carefully.

“I really don’t know. He might be hostile, no matter which one he is.”

It is an honest answer. He has no idea how much of the soldier is still there, if Barnes has managed to reclaim his mind or not. At this point, it would be better if most of his memories are still gone. Hydra wants the soldier back and Rumlow is certain that Strucker will order a wipe as soon as he is secured. It is cruel but at this point, he has been the soldier longer than he has been Barnes, it may be crueler for Barnes to realize who he has been these last years than to bury him again.

“Maybe I should go in first.”

Clint’s words draw his attention away from his thoughts of the soldier and he is a bit curious about why Clint wants to put himself in the position to be attacked first and so he asks why.

“He doesn’t know me, as the soldier or as Barnes.”

That doesn’t seem like a good reason to Rumlow and he points that out.

“That means he may see you as a hostile.”

Clint shrugs his shoulders a bit.

“ He also might not see me as such. He is going to be super confused about what is going on if the wipes are fading and anything or anyone that could trigger a memory will make him last out. I shouldn’t trigger anything because I am an unknown to him and I have dealt with hostile before.”

That last sentence is a reference to the widow, Rumlow is sure of it, but he raises a good point. People don’t typically see him as a threat right away and so he agrees to it. They discuss it a little bit more, make a good plan that they will share with their team in just a bit.

“If they are here, what’s the order?”

Clint asks and Rumlow doesn’t have to know who they are. Clint keeps his face calm but his shoulders are hunched up , a bit of nervousness. This whole mission has him a bit of edge and Rumlow does what he can to keep him clam, keep him focused on what needs to be focused on.

“It’s our call whether we want to capture or kill the others but Rogers is to be taken alive if possible.”

If they have Rogers, they might be able to figure out the serum. There is also the possibility of using Rogers if they could break him. He doesn’t say any of this to Clint, keeps it at that he is to be captured. The fact that it is not a kill order seems to help ease some of the tension out of Clint.

“Is there any sign of them?”, Clint asks and Rumlow shakes his head.

“We should still be ready for them, Natasha has a way of causing trouble, we should brief the others about them.”

Rumlow agrees to this, even if he didn’t quite like how Clint’s voice sounded a little soft when he said her name. He pushes the thought aside, puts a hand on Clint’s shoulder and leads him out of the room so that they can get their team ready to get the asset.

The briefing with the team goes well and they are ready to get everything started. They will catch a few hours of rest and then head to where they think the soldier is. The asset will be found and then Strucker can stop with his little hints about who would take his place. Clint is his now and he won’t let any one take him, Rogers, Romanov or any in Hydra who think Clint may serve a better purpose away from him.

_The mission is finished and Brock has done all the paper work he needs to and is finishing being looked over by medical. He only has a few scratches so it doesn’t take long at all and he is getting ready to leave when he hears Barton’s voice._

_“That glass is from a window. I didn’t get a chance to open it before having to dive out of it and my arm tends to collect sharp things.”_

_There is just a bit of sarcasm in Barton’s voice and Rumlow is a bit amused at it. This had been his fourth mission working with him and Brock has enjoyed it so far, wants to get to know him a little more to decide just how much of a threat he may be to Hydra. Maybe Barton would be up for a drink or something after his arm has been cleaned. He walks closer to where the voice is coming from when he hears another._

_“At least this time it wasn’t your face.”_

_It is Romanov, her voice the closest to teasing that Rumlow has ever hear it. He can see them now, sees her sitting right next to Clint as the glass gets picked out of his arm. He doesn’t move any closer, just watches as the wound gets cleaned and bandaged and as they tease each other. They are comfortable with each other and he wonders just how close they really are, if she is more than just a partner. He keeps out of sight until she leaves and then he approaches Barton, asks him if he wants to hit up a place that Rumlow knows and he agrees. Soon enough, they are in a corner booth talking._

_“So you and Romanov are pretty close, huh?”_

_He knows that they are but he still asks because he wants to see how Barton will respond. He gets a shrug of shoulders and then a response._

_“Is this your way of asking if the rumors are true? If I’m with her?”_

_Rumlow just gives a shrug of his own now and Barton takes another drink of his beer. There is a worry for just a moment that he has crossed some sort of line by asking Barton about her and then Barton is turning to him with another shrug._

_“She’s my partner, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her but we don’t date, don’t screw around with each other. It is better that way.”_

_Rumlow likes that answer, feels a bit of jealousy leaving him at confirmation that Barton isn’t doing anything with her. He takes a drink of his own beer when Barton says something else._

_“Were you asking so you could hit on her? Because I will tell you right now that she will hit back.”_

_It is said with a bit of teasing but also with a hint of warning. Rumlow shakes his head._

_“She’s not really my type.”_

_Barton gives a nod of understanding and then the subject of Romanov is dropped. She isn’t his type but he is starting to get the feeling Barton may be. He will deal with it when he needs to, for now he simply enjoys his evening with Barton._

*********


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little while, Broken Parts has taken over most of my fic time. Hope you enjoy.

*********

_Clint is starting to break and it is worse than what happened with Loki. That was sudden, there was no torture involved with it, just a touch to his chest and everything in him was rearranged, he didn’t suffer for it, didn’t know it was happening until it already had. There was a part of him that fought, that kept him from shooting head shots with Fury and Hill but that part was pushed down. It had been horrible, to be trapped within himself but this slow breaking down of who he is, this is worse._

_He knows what they are doing, the techniques and that makes the process worse. He knows that his food is being drugged but he also knows that he can’t allow himself to starve. He knows that when they tell him the pain will end when he listens that it is a lie but that doesn’t change the fact that he is still in pain and wants it to stop._

_When it gets really bad sometimes, he thinks about Natasha, about how she went through something like this once, when she was just a child and that doesn’t make it easier but it makes him keep fighting. He fights for her, for the twins that are being broken just a few doors away, but the fight is starting to leave him and he is starting to forget things._

_It is at first just some of the sessions they do with him, times when he is taken at of the cell and then returned and he can’t remember what happened inbetween. Then some larger memories are taken, such as how he ended up in Hydra custody in the first place, large chunks of his time here that he had once, the names of the twins. He still knows most of his life, knows his name and that he is SHIELD, but he doesn’t know if he will be allowed to keep that or how long he will still remember who he is. They could hollow him out, take all of it out of his head, but they don’t and he isn’t sure why, what they are waiting for._

_There comes a day when he wakes up one morning, bound just as he almost always is, and he is sat up on the cot and he hears a familiar voice._

_“Sorry I haven’t been able to visit for a while, I had a hellicarrier almost land on me.”_

_Clint turns his head and he sees Brock Rumlow. The man has been injured at one point, Clint can see healing burn marks all over him and he has to be in a lot of pain but Clint can’t really find it in himself to feel bad for him. He is the reason Clint is here, he remembers that._

_“Too bad it was just almost.”_

_Clint hurts and he is tired but he is able to say this, to spit venom at him. He hasn’t lashed out for a while but with Rumlow here, he does. He had trusted the man, had thought he was a friend, let him in, and now Rumlow is the reason he has been tortured for weeks, can’t remember some things, and why he is losing himself._

_Rumlow has his hands on Clint, has moved one to his neck and he rubs it now, gives Clint just a bit of a smirk._

_“Good to see you haven’t lost all your fight yet. You should be glad I survived, you may have been considered expendable otherwise. “_

_“I’ll be sure to send you a thank you note when I get out of here then.”_

_Clint feels more like himself right now, is able to snap at Rumlow because there is something else to focus on, other than just the pain and confusion. Apparently it helps to have someone he actually knows and not just some random techs and the guy with the accent who keeps looking at Clint like he is an interesting puzzle talking to him, to have some sort of interaction to make him feel like a person again._

_“Always so much sass, Barton. You shouldn’t be so rude, I might leave and I’m sure you want to hear what happened to Cap and the widow.”_

_Clint draws a breath and Rumlow still has his hand on his neck and he gives it a light squeeze now. He wants to know what happened, if they are still alive, and he knows that it might be a lie coming from Rumlow but it would be better than not having any information._

_“Tell me.”_

_He doesn’t put a please on it, won’t beg Rumlow for anything if he can help it. Rumlow looks at him for just a moment and Clint wonders if he is going to ask for something but he doesn’t, instead he pulls Clint closer to him and brings their mouths together. Clint’s first instinct is to pull away from it, to bite down but Rumlow’s hand squeezes the back of his neck again and Clint knows that this is what Rumlow wants for the information. It could be worse, could be more than just a kiss and so Clint doesn’t try to move away from it. He returns it and Rumlow still has a bit of a smirk when he pulls away._

_“I’ve missed that.”_

_Rumlow says this, leans towards Clint again and takes a smaller kiss. After, he starts to tell Clint about what happened. The whole time he talks, he keeps touching Clint and any time Clint starts to shift away from the touch, he stops and doesn’t begin again till Clint leans back into his touch. He tells Clint how the hellicarriers fell, how Natasha and Steve are both alive, how all of Hydra’s and SHIELD’s secrets were exposed. The news fills Clint with a bit of relief but also dread at the same time._

_“Why tell me this?”_

_He asks, knows Rumlow is smart enough to not give away information without a reason. Rumlow gives a bit of a shrug._

_“Thought you would want to know and you’re not going to remember this conversation in a few days so it really isn’t that much of a risk. Your treatment is going to be speeded up now that I’m awake.”_

_Those words make Clint tense up, it isn’t an idle threat, or something said to scare him, it is a promise and Clint knows that they can follow through on it. Clint is quiet for just a moment and then he is speaking, voice full of pain and anger, and a tiny bit of fear._

_“Thought you didn’t want a toy.”_

_If Clint is wiped completely clean, broken down and drugged into obedience, that is what he will be, some little toy for Rumlow. The hand on the back of his neck is rubbing little circles again and when Rumlow speaks, his voice is calm and reassuring, and Clint feels sick._

_“I don’t. I want you, Clint Barton, Hawkeye, and so we aren’t taking away who you are, just getting rid of the things that keep you from accepting your place, by my side, in Hydra. You’re going to forget a few memories but there will be some new ones to take their place. When this is all over, you won’t know that you were ever against us. “_

_Rumlow makes that sound like a good thing, like he isn’t just taking away most of Clint’s life to fit some idea he has of what Clint is supposed to be. Clint tries to shake Rumow’s touch away now, doesn’t want to be near him but soon others are coming into the room. He is grabbed and taken to another session and Rumlow is there, telling the techs what needs to be done and Clint tries to focus on him, on what he is having done to him, but soon enough there is so much pain that he can’t keep focus on anything._

Clint takes deep breathes as he gets ready to enter the location that they have found, the one that they think has the soldier is at. He feels a bit tense, had a headache again last night but he took the damn pills that Brock keeps on him for them and it had gone away, but he still feels a tiny bit ill at ease with this mission. He helped come up with this plan, convinced Rumlow that he would be the best one to approach Barnes, the soldier, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t nervous about it. The soldier is a dangerous weapon and Clint is about to go try and draw him out, it is enough to make anybody a bit jittery.

It is very quiet out here and Clint walks by himself, the others stationed a little bit away. This is the outskirts of the town, no one lives out here and there is an old factory that hasn’t been used in years but is still in good condition, it would be a good place to hide. There is a communication device in Clint’s ear and he has his bow and arrows and a few knives but for the most part he isn’t heavily armed and hopefully that wasn’t a mistake. He starts to walk closer to the factory.

“Be careful.”

It is Rumlow’s voice in his ear and Clint whispers a quiet will do.

He keeps his steps very light, sneaks in. The factory has different levels, lots of places to hide, and Clint knows that he is going to have to do a search, look for proof of life, for some sort of sign that someone has been here. He goes to the top level first, will work his way down. Each level would provide a different advantage, the lower levels quicker escape, the upper a better vantage point. Clint almost always chooses upper levels, it is just the sniper in him and he wonders if Barnes or the soldier has similar instincts.

Clint has read the soldier’s files, had seen everything that had been done to Barnes to make him into the asset and it hadn’t been easy reading. It was cruel and he told Brock this. He had agreed but he told Clint that cruelty is sometimes needed and that Hydra at the time, that was how they did things and that the soldier needed to be recovered because he is a liability otherwise, a danger to himself and others. Clint trusts Rumlow and knows the man has a fondness for the soldier and perhaps they will be able to use some influence to make things better for him this time.

Clint tries not to think about what will happen to the soldier when they secure him, instead focuses on looking for him. He goes through each room, most of them bare, not much there. It is when he gets to the one with the biggest window that he finds something, a little nest of sorts. It was made in one of the corners near the window, is out of the way. It is a few blankets, a few guns, some cans of food, and more importantly there are a couple newspaper clippings , all about Rogers. If the soldier hadn’t been here, than this has been set up to look like he has been.

Clint is about to tell Rumlow what he has found when he stops. He is pretty sure he has heard something, can feel someone else near by. They are being quiet, sneaking up on him and there is no way Clint can leave quickly enough so he doesn’t try. Instead, he gets an arrow ready and turns so that he will be facing who ever enters and then he waits for his company.

*********


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a little bit before the last chapter and I promise that we will get back to Clint soon. Sorry this took so long and I will try to update soon again.

*********

_Steve knows how to shoot a gun, how to aim and fire and hit a target when he needs to. He prefers his shield most of the time, finds that a bit easier to work with, but he can handle a gun when he needs to and he isn’t that bad of a shot. Bucky had always been better at it than him and Steve had always enjoyed watching him shoot, had liked watching how often Bucky could hit the target. He had enjoyed watching Bucky shoot then and he enjoys watching Clint now._

_Clint is amazing with his bow, good with a gun as well, but with his bow, Clint puts on a show. Steve doesn’t know how else to describe what Clint is doing right now on the range other than putting on a show. He pulls back his string, lets his arrows fly and makes shot after shot, hitting the target each time, sometimes with out even looking. It is very impressive and Steve can’t help but ask a question._

_“How often do you miss?”_

_Clint looks at Steve as he answers, shoots an arrow as he does so, not looking at the target. It hits bulls eye._

_“Not very. This is my main skill, I don’t have a whole lot else. If I miss, I’m useless, so I don’t miss. Even though sometimes it would have been better if I had.”_

_There is a bit of regret in his voice at those words, a dark look that settles over his features for a moment. Steve wonders if he is thinking about Loki or if it something else. He has seen some of Clint’s file, knows how checkered his past is but he also is getting to know Clint now, knows just how good of a person he is now. Whatever happened before, whatever Clint is thinking about, Steve doesn’t like the look on his face and so he steps just a bit close, puts a hand on Clint’s shoulder. He isn’t sure if he is crossing a line or not, he hasn’t seen many people touch Clint other than Natasha, but Clint doesn’t move away and Steve keeps his hand there for a moment._

_“There are always things that could have gone differently, you can’t always focus on what has gone wrong. Can’t change the past.”_

_This is something Steve has been trying to tell himself when he dreams about the train and he isn’t sure if Clint is going to listen anymore than he listens to himself but it is worth a shot. Clint is quiet and his shoulders shrug a bit but his eyes don’t look quite as upset as they did a moment ago. Steve gives his shoulder a squeeze before letting go and he moves away again as Clint goes back to shooting. They stay quiet for a few minutes, Steve watching as Clint hits a few more difficult shots. He speaks again after Clint has made a perfect circle around one of the bulls eyes with arrows._

_“You make me think of Robin Hood, Bucky and I saw that movie when it first came out. There were some amazing shots, although I am not sure if an arrow can really be split with another one with out it being a trick.”_

_He puts just a bit of challenge in his voice and Clint picks up on it, give him a bit of a smirk as he turns to him._

_“Is that so? I promise you, that it can be done.”_

_Steve gives him a bit of a smile now, wants to see if Clint can really do it. He tells him that he bets lunch that it isn’t something even he can do without some sort of special set up and Clint tells him that he will want pizza after this. Steve just watches as Clint shoots an arrow into one of the clean targets, perfect bulls eye once again. Clint gets his bow ready again, gives Steve a grin as he pulls the string back. The arrow does split it right down the middle and Steve really doesn’t mind buying Clint pizza after because he likes the smile that Clint gave right before that so much, thinks about drawing it later._

It is still very early in the morning, the sun not even out yet but Steve knows that he won’t be able to get any more sleep so he leaves the room he is using, goes to the kitchen. He keeps his steps light, wants to let the others get a little bit more sleep before they all three head out to search for Bucky. He turns on the light, opens up the computer to look over what they have, to see if there is anything new. There isn’t and the picture of Clint and Rumlow is still pulled up and Steve glances at it for just a moment before making himself move away from it, to start getting some food ready.

That picture, what it means, is the reason Steve had trouble sleeping. His thoughts kept returning to it, to Rumlow’s words months ago about them taking good care of Clint, of what must have been done to Clint for him to be here with Hydra. There had been the dark thought that maybe nothing had been done to him, that the Clint Steve knew months ago had just been an act, but it was one he has pushed aside. He is sure that had been the real Clint, just as he knows that Bucky is still somewhere in the soldier. He can push that worrying thought away but he can’t push his guilt and fear away and that was what had kept him up.

He tries to focus on his task right now, on getting some breakfast ready. Sam and Natasha will be up soon and he wants the food ready so that they can get going. He wants to find Bucky as soon as they can, needs to find him before Hydra does. If they can find Bucky, make sure that he is safe, then they will be able to focus on Clint, on finding out what has happened to him.

He can hear noises now, a bit of quiet speaking and then some moving around and then the shower turning on. The others are awake and so Steve goes to the coffee pot now, starts to fill it up as he hears footsteps.

“You may want to make that extra strong today. I’m pretty sure she only got a few hours of sleep and I’m guessing you got the same.”

There is no accusation in Sam’s voice, just acknowledgement, as he walks into the kitchen. Steve doesn’t say a word but he does add another spoonful of coffee to the filter before turning the pot on. Sam just walks further into the kitchen, starts to help Steve get out the plates and cups. There is quiet for just a few moments as they start to set everything up, dishing up the food and then Natasha is walking into the kitchen. Sam hand her a cup of coffee without a word and there is a brief smile and a thank you before her eyes flicker to the computer screen for just a moment before she sits down. She doesn’t say anything, just starts on her breakfeast. Steve just sits down beside her, starts his own plate of food.

“So we all head out today, split up but keep in contact. Sure that is the best move?”

Sam breaks the silence after only a few moments of eating, is looking at both of them. They had discussed this last night but Sam likes to go over things. Steve finishes his bite of food and then answers.

“It is the only move we really have. We can’t afford for Hydra to find him first and it would take too long for others to come, so we focus on finding Bucky first, try not to engage with Hydra’s team unless we have to.”

“And what happens if we run into Barton? If he engages?”

Sam asks the question and Steve can feel Natasha tense up just a bit beside him. It was something they had discussed very briefly last night, the fact that Clint may attack, but they really just discussed that it was a possibility, not what the game plan is if it happens. Steve is about to say something when Natasha does instead.

“If he attacks, we handle it. We don’t know exactly what sort of state he is in, what his reasons are for being here, he has to be treated as a possible threat. We secure Barnes first. Let’s finish our food and head out”

Her voice is steady, full of resolve and Steve is reminded that this isn’t the first time that she has had to fact the possibility of fighting Clint. He hadn’t known Clint before Loki but Natasha had been his partner for years at that point. All of this has to be hitting her hard and they should talk about it but there isn’t time right now. Instead, he gives her a nod of his head and goes back to his food. It doesn’t take long for them to finish their breakfast and getting everything cleaned up and to go over their game plan one more time.

They head out soon after that, splitting off in different directions, coms and cell phones on. Steve has his shield, Natasha her knives and widow bites, and Sam his wings. Even if they aren’t planning on engaging with Hydra doesn’t mean that Hydra is going to follow that rule. They don’t want to be caught off guard if they can help it. They don’t keep too far away from each other, need to make sure that they can get to each other quickly if needed and they plan to check in with each other at least once every hour. It should work out as well as it can.

He walks the streets near the edge of town, thinks he may have an idea of where Bucky might be staying. Just a little bit away, is the outskirts, the part of town that has been abandoned. It would be easy to hide out there and Steve starts to make his way closer to there when he notices something, someone walking down the street, trying not to draw attention to themselves. There is something about the way that they carry themselves that makes Steve just a bit curious . He follows, tries to make sure that they don’t see him. Natasha would be better at this but he has improved quite a bit these last few months. The person Steve is following is keeping track of their surroundings, the way they are caring themselves reminds Steve of the strike team and he is pretty sure that this is a Hydra agent. Steve knows that he shouldn’t follow anymore, that they are going to try not to engage but he needs to know just what they are up to and so when he sees the agent duck into one of the more deserted looking buildings, he waits a few minutes, sends a message to the others and then he follows in, hopes that he isn’t making a mistake.

*********


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part gave me fits so I would really appreciate some comments. Hope you enjoy.

*********

_Clint gets headaches a lot right now, throbbing pains that make him ache and make him feel confused. They are almost constant and his memories feel like a mess and he has no idea what is going on but he keeps getting told that he will be better soon, that he just needs a little more time and things will make sense again. He really wants things to make sense again, wants to understand who he is again, wants the headaches to go away but for now, his head hurts and he lays on his cot, his hands at his forehead trying to rub the pain away._

_It is helping a bit, his fingers rubbing circles against his temple, and Clint keeps doing it, eyes closed as he tries to will the pain away. He keeps his fingers there, has a pattern going after a few moments. It really is helping and Clint isn’t sure why he hadn’t done this days earlier and then there is a thought in his head, a clear one and Clint stops rubbing his forehead and sits up, looks at his hands. He didn’t try this before because his hands had been bound, he couldn’t move them._

_The door is opening but Clint doesn’t look to it, just keeps looking at his hands. They used to tie them up but now they don’t and he isn’t sure what has changed. He is safe here, that is what he keeps being told, what some of his memories tell him but he can also remember cuffs around his wrists, being bound and Clint isn’t sure if anything makes sense right now._

_“Head still jumbled up?”_

_The question comes from right next to him, the one saying it sitting right down next to him on the cot. There are hands going to his own now, taking them gently and fingers rubbing his knuckles. The touch is very familiar, as is the voice and Clint turns to Rumlow and he speaks, doesn’t move away from him._

_“I don’t know why my hands are free.”_

_It is such a simple statement and there is just a hint of a frown on Brocks face as he moves just a little closer to Clint. His fingers still rub Clint’s knuckles as he speaks, his words calm._

_“There isn’t any reason for them not to be, you’re not a prisoner here, you’re just a little bit confused about things right now. We will get you all figured out, everything will work out, don’t worry.”_

_Clint isn’t sure if those last words are meant for him or for Rumlow himself. Clint doesn’t say anything, just gives a little nod of agreement. He trusts the words more when Brock says them instead of the others, feels more familiar with him than with any one else here. His memories of Rumlow are clearer, never seem as jumbled as all the others and he clings to them just a bit._

_Brock lets go of his knuckles now, brings one hand to the back of Clint’s neck, curls his fingers around it. The touch is warm, his fingers are rubbing little circles there and it makes Clint tense up just a bit. There is a glimmer of something for just a moment, a feeling of unease but it goes away quickly. He can trust Brock, he may be the only thing that Clint can trust right now._

_They sit together for a few minutes, quiet for a little bit till Rumlow starts asking him a few questions. They are mostly about how his head feels, about what he remembers. It is something they do almost everyday, these conversations that almost feel like a test at times. Today is no different, Rumlow going over a few past missions of Clint’s, ones that he has done for both sides, and Clint can recall some of the details, but the jumbled up feeling is still there. Rumlow seems satisfied with most of his answers and after a while he changes the subject, brings it back to today and not the past._

_“So I was thinking that after lunch today, if you feel up to it, we can go to the range for a bit. I’m sure you have been missing your bow and I wouldn’t mind watching you for a bit.”_

_Clint gives a smile at this, tells him that that sounds like a great idea. He has missed his bow, can’t remember the last time he was able to shoot and Rumlow’s offer to let Clint shoot today makes him ridiculously happy. He doesn’t even think about what he is doing, simply leans forward and gives Brock a kiss just because he can and because he wants to. Brock returns it and there is a really pleased look on his face when they pull apart. He gives Clint another grin before pulling him in for another kiss and Clint’s head still hurts but there is a little less pain when he focuses on this, on Brock, on the one thing he can be sure about._

Clint sees the knife being thrown at him before he sees who throws it and as he blocks it by shooting his arrow at it, there is a name that repeats through his mind as he gets ready to face whoever is coming. Natasha, it is all he can think for the first few seconds of this. She threw a knife at him on their first meeting, has always favored them a bit. He steels himself for the possibility that it is her, tells himself he can do this but that is when he gets a glimpse of the figure coming near him and there is just a moment of relief when he realizes it isn’t her but that is short lived as he is attacked.

He isn’t horrible at close combat, has learned enough to survive but Clint is still better at a distance and he hasn’t had to fight like this for a while. His bow gets knocked out of his hands pretty quickly, falls to the floor and Clint is just glad that there wasn’t any sound of it breaking. He mostly keeps on the defense, doesn’t make too many moves to harm his opponent. It doesn’t take long till Clint finds himself slammed against the wall, his com link probably damaged from the force, and metal fingers wrapped around his throat. Clint doesn’t struggle too much in the soldier’s grip, knows that it will only lead to fingers tightening and so he makes himself still as he finds himself looking at someone whose face he had only seen in history books and files before this.

“Who are you? Do I know you?”

The question is a demand but there is also genuine confusion and curiosity in his voice. The fingers are still tight around his throat but Clint answers, doesn’t look away from the soldier’s face.

“Clint Barton. We haven’t met before but I know who you are.”

There is a flicker of something on his face and his fingers stay on Clint’s throat.

“I have heard the name Barton. Why are you here?”

Clint has no idea how the soldier knows of him and he isn’t sure how to answer, if truth or a lie will get him killed. He is quiet and the soldier tightens his fingers just a bit.

“Tell me, why are you here? “

The question is a demand again and Clint thinks about his answer for just a moment before speaking, has to phrase this right.

“I’m here for you. I have answers for questions you have but I can’t give them to you if you kill me.”

He puts as much truth into his words as he can and there is a moment where he thinks the fingers will still tighten too much, that his breath will be caught. It is a long moment before the fingers loosen and the soldier move his hand away from Clint’s throat.

“You will tell me but not here. “

With that, the soldier grabs Clint’s arm, the metal fingers digging in as the soldier drags him from the room. He sees Clint’s bow on the ground and picks it up, takes it with them and Clint gives him a thanks even if the man hasn’t given it back to him yet. There is static in his ear and Clint knows that the com isn’t working well right now and that he is basically on his own with a man whose kill record is pretty damn high. He takes a few deep breathes and tries to keep up with the soldier as he drags him along and just has to hope he can figure out a way for this to work.

*********

_Brock pins him down but he keeps his hand gentle, just enough pressure that he knows not to move. He starts to prep him, takes his time and stretches him well. It will be a while before this can happen again, if it happens again, and Rumlow is going to make it good for both of them. He kisses as he finishes stretching him, gentle kisses that are returned with an almost shyness, like he is worried that he is going to be told to stop. Brock thrusts in slowly, watches his face as he does so, takes a few more kisses as he thrusts into him._

_“I’m going to make this so good, I’m going to make you feel good.”_

_There is no verbal response to his words but there is another almost shy kiss and then a heavy breath that almost sounds like a moan as he thrusts a little deeper. He grips his arms now, fingers touching warm flesh and cool metal. He knows that he can press as hard as he wants, that he isn’t going to crush the soldier’s metal arm and that any bruises will heal but tonight he is careful, keeps his touch light. This isn’t about possession tonight, isn’t about how much control he has over the soldier, this is about his admiration of the soldier, about having this stolen moment of the closet thing to affection anyone gives the soldier._

_The soldier doesn’t move much, and he doesn’t make much noise but there is still something so very pleasant about this, about having him underneath him. He hasn’t had this in a while, hasn’t needed it as much now that there is Barton, but he still likes it, knows it is going to change soon enough and he wants to have it just like this, just the two of them one last time._

_Brock is so very close now and he wraps his fingers around his cock, pumps it slowly. He has done this for years, knows just how to do it to get the little shudders that he likes, to get the soldier to close his eyes for a moment and then open them wide as he comes. He works him up and this time when the soldier comes, there is a little moan that escapes his mouth as well and Rumlow likes the sound, kisses him gently on the mouth as he comes, as Brock finishes as well._

_They clean up and Brock knows he only has a few more minutes left alone with him, only a few more minutes before he will be put to sleep in the ice chamber. He has been out only a few days, not very long at all and he hadn’t really been needed for this mission, they could have done it with out him but Rumlow had requested him and the request had been honored. Brock has often requested him, tries to keep him out of the cold as long as he can but these past few months, he hasn’t gotten him out as often, has been a bit distracted by Barton but he still has a soft spot for the soldier and he is glad to have these little stolen moments with him._

_He turns and looks at the soldier for a few moments, thinks about everything he knows about him, about the little pieces of personality he has seen. It used to be that this was enough for him, that the little glimpses of a person, of who the soldier once was, this sort of affection was enough but it simply isn’t. His experience with Barton has changed that just a bit, made him want something a bit more, a partner. It can’t be the soldier, the soldier is always going to belong more to Hydra than to Brock and if the soldier was to change, to become Barnes, he couldn’t be Rumlow’s either, would possibly belong to the past and Rogers. It can’t be the soldier but there is Clint and he can be Brock’s more than Hydra’s, hasn’t been claimed by Rogers yet and Brock wants him, wants what they can be. Clint is going to be taken soon and there may not be as much time for the soldier and so Brock spends these moments with him, shows him the affection and attention that no one else brothers with._

_He has his hands on the soldier’s shoulders, can feel the strong muscles underneath his fingertips and the soldier is looking up at him. There is very little expression on his face but as Brock rubs little circles with his fingers, he can feel them relax slightly, lean into his touch a little more. As much as he has been made a weapon, the soldier was once a man, a person, and people need touch, need attention and Brock has always been willing to give a bit to the soldier, has cared for him in his own way. He talks to him now, knows that what he says may not , will not be remembered but he says it anyway, needs to say it._

_“ I have always enjoyed working with you, appreciate you. We may not work together for a while, someone new is joining my team soon, and I need to be with him to help him adjust but I promise that as soon as it is possible, we will have a mission together, the three of us. I think you will like Barton.”_

_Rumlow means every word, wants to work with the soldier again once Clint is his, thinks that they would get along well. The soldier doesn’t say anything but he does give a nod and when Brock gives him one last kiss, his hand briefly goes to Rumlow’s back, touches it for just a moment before moving it a way. Brock lets go of him as soon as the kiss is over, moves a little bit away from him as the techs enter the room, as they prepare the soldier for the chamber. He doesn’t leave till the soldier is asleep, never leaves him alone when he is put to sleep or given a wipe unless he has to and once it is over, once the soldier is in the cold again, he leaves the room, goes to make sure everything is planned for Clint’s capture in a few days._

The com isn’t working anymore, only little bits of sound coming through. There had been sounds of a struggle, of a fight right before it started to not come in as clearly and Brock tries not to show it but he is worried. He had allowed Clint to go in on his own and now their method of communication is on the fritz and it is obvious that Clint has had a scuffle with someone.

“Even with it not working, we can still trace it , correct?”

He asks one of his team this as his mind races through the possibilities of what has happened, of who found Barton. When he is told yes, he orders it to be done, for Barton’s movement to be watched. They will at least be able to follow him, to find him and that reassures him just a bit and then his mind is back on who could be with Barton right now.

Brock isn’t sure if it would be better if it is the soldier or Rogers or Romanov. At least Rogers and Romanov would probably not kill Clint, would just try to figure out what was going on with him, possibly upset some of the conditioning but the soldier is a different story. He could kill Clint, do it quite easily and Rumlow is not sure what he would do if that happened. He has a fondness for the soldier, wants him back with Hydra but Barton is his and he doesn’t want one to cost him the other. His thoughts are interrupted when he glances at one of their monitors, one that is set up to show just out side of the building and he sees a familiar figure near it, ducking inside and Rumlow knows that Barton’s com not working isn’t their only concern now.

Rogers is here and Rumlow is going to make sure that he is distracted enough that he can’t interfere in anything that is going to happen.

*********


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a little while. My brain was getting stuck on a few things. Hope you enjoy.

*********

_It has taken time for Clint to get ahold of himself again, time for everything that happened with New York, with Loki, to settle. Things haven’t exactly gone back to normal and Clint is pretty sure that they never will but he can sleep a little more at night now, doesn’t dream of Loki quite as much as he did those first few weeks after everything. There are still nightmares, still guilt, and he has to stop himself from flinching anytime Coulson is mentioned but he is a little more balanced, less shattered. It hadn’t been easy but he had Natasha there to remind him of who he is and Steve had been there to offer support as well. It had helped, not being alone, and Clint has always been glad to have Natasha and he has grown to like Steve very quickly._

_It is hard not to like Steve. He is so much like what the history books said and at the same time nothing like that at all. Clint enjoys spending time with him, trying to help him adjust to being in this time. It is still odd at times to be able to say Captain America is his friend but it is the truth and Clint doesn’t mind it at all and he finds himself hanging out at Steve’s place quite a bit, is there right now watching Fantasia with Steve who also has his sketch pad out. His attention shifts between the movie and the book, working on a drawing. Clint gets a little curious so he asks about it._

_“Is that the one you started the other day? When you asked if you could draw me shooting?”_

_Steve turns and looks at him, gives a nod and then he goes back to it as he talks._

_“Just finishing it up. Shading can be tricky.”_

_“Can I see it when you’re done?”_

_He asks, hasn’t gotten a chance to look at it yet. Steve gives another nod and Clint grabs some popcorn as he works. It is about five minutes later that Steve turns to him, holds the pad out to him. Clint takes it and looks down at the drawing of him with his bow and it is a good drawing._

_“You’re pretty good.”_

_There is a brief smile on Steve’s face at the compliment and it is a nice smile. Clint has yet to see a smile of Steve’s that isn’t nice and that is a tiny bit of dangerous thought. He pushes it aside as he gestures to the pad, asks if he can look at some of the others. He gets a yes and Clint starts flipping through it._

_“You draw a lot before?”_

_He asks as he looks through the book, admires Steve’s art. There is a nod and Steve leans forward just bit so that he is closer to Clint, looks at the pictures with him. They are almost close enough to touch._

_“I used to doodle a lot when I was young, took a few art classes when I got older. Bucky would come with me, he didn’t really do anything there, I think he was just trying to keep me out of trouble.”_

_There is another smile at the mention of Bucky, one that is still nice but has just a hint of sadness to it. Clint can understand the feeling of loss and so he doesn’t say anything, just turns the page. The picture is of a young man, just familiar enough that Clint asks._

_“This is him, right?”_

_He gets a nod and Clint looks at the drawing. It is detailed, the face clear, smile and eyes. A lot of thought had been put into this drawing and it tells Clint quite a lot about Steve’s friendship with the man. Steve stares at the picture with him and after a moment, he speaks, voice soft and clear._

_“It still doesn’t quite feel right, doesn’t quite feel real that he is gone. He has been dead for such a long time but I still feel like I lost him just a bit over a year ago.“_

_Clint can understand the feeling of loss, of it not quite feeling real. It is still hard to think about Phil being gone. He pushes his own loss away right now, wants to reassure Steve._

_“For you, it has only been that long. You guys were close, it is quite a loss. You can’t change what happened, can’t focus on what went wrong. Someone told me that once, seemed like good advice.”_

_They are Steve’s words or at least close to the one he told Clint when he was dealing with Loki. Clint thinks maybe he needs them just like Clint did. Steve looks like he is about to say something when both of their phones go off, Clint checking his first. It is a SHIELD mission, one for them and for the strike team and they need to meet up in about two hours._

_“ That’s Rumlow. Movie time and advice hour is cut short. We have somewhere we got to be soon. I have to stop by my place but I will see you when we suit up.”_

_Steve simply gives Clint a nod as he gets up to leave, as Steve starts to get ready as well.  
_

_It doesn’t take long before they are meeting up with the team, with Rumlow. Clint doesn’t mind working with them at all, has spent some time off the clock with Brock. He’s fun to hang out with and he hasn’t once said anything to Clint about the Loki incident, has never treated him with anything other than respect. Clint appreciates it, is starting to think of him as a friend, maybe not as close as Steve or Nat, but someone he can trust just the same. He listens as the mission briefing is given and then they head out._

_The mission goes well and he sends Nat a text right after. She sends a few more and Clint soon finds himself asking Steve about his hair color preferences. There is confusion on his face when he answers and Clint finds it a bit cute. He tells him that he thinks she is going to try to set him up and the confusion grows a bit and Clint knows that he is just a bit attracted to him. It is something he pushes aside, Steve is a friend and Clint has no idea what his preferences are._

_“Well, I’m not sure if I’m ready to date yet.”_

_Those words just reinforce the fact that Clint shouldn’t think too much about anything other than friendship with Steve right now. He gives him a little smile right now, tells him that it might not deter Natasha. Steve looks like he is about to say something else when another voice interrupts._

_“You two have any plans for later? I’m still wound, thinking about getting some pizza.”_

_It is Rumlow and Steve answers right away, says he is going to head straight home. Rumlow turns to him and Clint thinks about it and then tells him sure, tells Steve he will talk to him later. He needs just a bit of a distraction, doesn’t want to talk about Natasha’s set up attempts any more._

_He and Rumlow get some pizza and beer, head to Clint’s place. They are both still a bit wound, the beer loosening their tongues and they start to exchange stories and scars._

_“Knife?”_

_Clint asks as he runs his fingers over the jagged line on Brock’s shoulder. His skin is warm._

_“Yep, pocket knife. Stung and took a few stitches to close it. What do you got?”_

_There is challenge in his voice and Rumlow gives him a bit of smirk. It is not like Steve’s smile, there is a bit of danger in it, but Clint finds he likes it. He moves his hand away from his shoulder, moves it to his pants instead. He pulls them down just a bit so that his hip is exposed and the line that runs across it can be seen. Brock comes a little closer, brushes his fingers across it. He keeps his hand on Clint’s hip, moves it just a little lower._

_“You want a bit of action? Think you can handle it?”_

_Clint asks now, kind of likes the idea. He hasn’t had anything like this for a while and he likes Brock, trusts him, it could be fun with him. Brock’s hand finds its way to in-between Clint’s legs and his face is now in a full on grin instead of the little smirk from earlier._

_“Can you?”_

_Clint doesn’t waste words, simply moves forward and takes a kiss. There isn’t much need to talk, they both just start to take what they want right now, clothes being discarded, touches rough. It is fun, nice in a way and Clint enjoys it even if he wants something just a bit different, wants someone just a bit different, but he still likes this, still likes Rumlow and it helps fill a need inside of him._

They are in a shack, a little ways away from the factory. Clint was put into a chair as soon as they entered, he wasn’t tied down but he stands in front of him, Clint’s own bow still clutched in his hands. Clint just hopes that he doesn’t break it. He can get a new one but he likes that one.

“You know who I am, that is what you said. I want you to tell me now, who I am.”

The words are a demand and Clint just keeps looking at him. He looks worn down just a bit, dark circles around his eyes, and there is so much uncertainty in those eyes. He looks so young, physically only a little older than the twins and he looks so lost right now. He is dangerous, there is no doubt about that, but he is still a person and Clint wants to help him somehow. His hand tightens on the bow just a bit and he leans closer to Clint, wants his answer. Clint keeps his eyes on his face as he starts to speak, doesn’t break eye contact.

“The last seventy years, you were the winter soldier. You worked for Hydra, was put under in between missions, memories wiped when needed. Before that, you were James Buchan Barnes, liked to be called Bucky, and you were a Howling Commando, a Sargent in the army. ”

It is all the truth and from the look on his face, he has already figured out most of it just needed the confirmation. Clint keeps talking, speaks about the train now, about Barnes being found, about what happened right before this, about the fall of Hydra, about Clint looking for him. He talks about the soldier and about Barnes, isn’t sure which one is across from him right now. He doesn’t lie, doesn’t hide anything from him and the soldier watches him the whole time. His eyes are looking for something and Clint is suddenly reminded of green eyes from long ago, the widow across the table from him, trying to decide if he was worth trusting. He pushes the memory aside, focuses on Barnes, on the soldier.

“You came by yourself, did not have others with you. Why?”

The question is asked and he is still looking straight at Clint. He thinks he may be in-between the soldier and Barnes right now, isn’t quite sure who he is himself. Clint doesn’t look away from him, tells him the truth again.

“I thought you might react better if there was only one person, if you weren’t surrounded by guns, if you weren’t attacked. “

There is a little narrowing of his eyes at Clint now and when he speaks, there is something almost like an accusation in his voice.

“You still shot an arrow.”

Clint gives a bit of a shrug and then starts to talk, babbling just a little bit.

“You threw a knife at me. I didn’t want to get stabbed, besides I aimed for the knife, hit it, you don’t have any holes and I don’t have any holes so I think it worked out alright.”

His answer makes something that almost looks like amusement crosses Barnes’ face. Clint wonders how long it has been since he has been able to laugh. There is a moment of quiet now, Clint doesn’t say anything yet and Barnes is just looking at him right now, his fingers clenching and unclenching around Clint’s bow.

“I failed my mission, I knew him, couldn’t kill him. I did not go back because I was compromised. “

He says this now, almost as if Clint asked him a question. His voice is soft and confused and Clint knows that a lot of the conditioning is still there but that Barnes is surfacing as well. Clint doesn’t speak, just lets him speak some. It is like all of this has been bubbling up inside and he hasn’t had anyone to talk to and now it is rushing out of him.

“He stopped the helicarriers but once that was done, he wouldn’t fight back, let me hit him. “

Rogers was still getting over Barnes’ loss, probably couldn’t make himself fight back, didn’t want what was happening to be real. The thought comes to Clint and he isn’t quite sure why he is so certain about this, why he feels so sad for Rogers right now. His head is starting to ache, a dull pain, and Clint tries to ignore it, focus on what Barnes is saying.

“He was my friend but I can’t remember much of him yet, only have a few memories coming through. If I let you take me back, I will lose the few memories I have now.”

Barnes lets go of Clint’s bow now, puts his metal hand on Clint’s throat again. His head still hurts but Clint doesn’t struggle, waits to see what Barnes is going to do.

“I could kill you right now. Give me a reason not to.”

The metal is cold against his skin and there is something that Clint should try right now but he decides to take a risk instead. Clint looks up at him, makes sure they have eye contact as he speaks.

“Because if you kill me, they will send another team, one that won’t hesitate to bring you in by any means. Hydra won’t stop looking for you but if I’m still alive when you get brought in, I will do all that I can to make sure you don’t get wiped or frozen again, that you get to be a person and not just a weapon.”

The fingers loosen just slightly but they don’t move. Barnes is staring at him still, looks a little unsure. Clint keeps talking, wants him to know something.

“There are triggers, phases designed to make a response. You have been programmed to follow orders without any questions if the right phase is said. They will find you and they will trigger you and you won’t have any choice but to come back. If you let me live, I will do what I can to make sure you have a choice. “

“Do you know the phases?”

He asks and his fingers stay on Clint’s throat. He does know them, they were in the file Rumlow gave him, with a note that they may not work if the programming is breaking down. Clint says yes and he almost expects the fingers to tighten more. They don’t and Barnes is staring at him with more confusion and curiosity.

“Why haven’t you said them?”

The question is asked so simply and Clint looks straight at him as he answers.

“Because I know what it is like to have your choices taken away and I don’t want to do that to you.”

His words are honest and Barnes seems to understand that and his fingers finally move away from Clint’s throat. He looks so lost right now. Clint gets ready to say something else when there is a noise from outside. Barnes hears it too and he is up in a flash, goes to the window and takes a glance out of it. He turns back to Clint and gestures for him to come to the window. Clint gets up and walks to him.

“Someone else is here. “

He gestures out the window and Clint catches a glimpse of red hair and he knows that everything is about to get very messy. Natasha has found them, is moving closer to the shack and his head throbs a little more as she starts to get closer and Clint has no idea what is going to happen now.

*********


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken so long. I know a bit of what will happen, I just get stuck trying to get there. Comments make it all worth it so I hope you enjoy.

*********

“I want everything out of here as soon as possible and I want Barton’s signal tracked. Send people there but keep a distance. The rest of you with me.”

He gives his orders quickly after the first appearance of Rogers, starts planning out what to do. The most important thing right now is to make certain that Rogers doesn’t learn anything other than the fact that they are here. If it is possible, they will capture him and then maybe the soldier can have a nicer time of it if they have Rogers waiting in the wings. He makes his way to where to where Rogers entered, prepares himself for a bit of a fight. If the captain is anything like he was when Rumlow first tried to arrest him, he will be a bit of a problem. They just need to stall him long enough to make sure everything gets out of here.

The last time he saw Rogers was before the hellicarriers fell, when he had been arrested after the soldier attacked him. Rogers had been shaken up then, off his guard because of the solider but he had still managed to ask about Clint. At the time, he had thought the captain would not last much longer and so he had taunted him just a bit. Now, he has to face the man again and make sure he doesn’t cause in problems.

They make their way to where the captain entered and Rumlow is not surprised to hear the sounds of a struggle. He enters the room before the rest of his men, sees Rogers fighting. He watches him for a few moments, the man is good at what he does. If things were slightly different, he thinks he could admire the captain. If everything works out well, there is the possibility that he will be made of use, that they will work together again. For now, Rumlow simply walks closer waits till Steve has most of the others on the ropes before making his presence known with a few simple words and gets ready to fight.

“Hey, Cap. Looking for someone?”

 

_Once he is given the go ahead by Pierce to keep Clint, Rumlow starts planning just what will be the best way to have him, the best way to make him his partner. He knows that the machine will be the easiest way but it also would be all too easy to be left with just a shell, with something not quite Barton. Brock wants him and so the weeks leading up to Clint’s capture and the time after it, he starts researching, the various processes to break and condition Barton, the man’s personality and background, and deciding just exactly how he wants Barton to be shaped._

_He talks to the techs, to the ones who run the machines, that do the drugging, gets all the various files and information and reads it all. He finds out just what the machine can do, what tech and methods are available. More can be done than just wiping away memories, new ones can be placed, and current ones can be altered. There are ways to make a mind a little more susceptible to suggestion, to coercion, different ways to ensure loyalty and obedience and Hydra has access to most of them, including the spear that turned Barton against SHIELD the first time. Using that on Clint again is something that Brock immediately dismisses, he won’t put Clint through that again and it didn’t last in the first place. Instead, he decides that the machine and conditioning will be the best course of action, that they will take away and change a few memories._

_There are a lot of factors to consider when altering Clint’s memories and Rumlow thinks about all them as it gets closer to time for Clint to be captured, as it becomes closer to time to start having him reshaped. He thinks about what he knows about Clint, what he has read in the various files, what others have told him, his own interactions with the man, and he starts to make a few decisions as time passes. He decides whether quickly that Clint’s childhood and time before SHIELD can be left alone. His time with SHIELD will have to be changed a bit, his loyalty shifted away, given to Hydra instead. Some of Clint’s friendships will need to be changed a bit, particularly his closeness with Romanova and Rogers, but Rumlow plans to keep as many of Clint’s memories whole as possible._

_He doesn’t get much of a chance to start implementing his ideas until after the attacks on the hellicarriers, until after he heals. He watches as they start to implement his ideas, as they start to rewrite Barton’s memories, as they break him down and reshape him. It is taking time but Brock knows that it will be worth in the end, that he will have Clint as his partner, that Clint will be loyal to him and Hydra and have no idea that he was ever against them._

_It is decided to make Clint believe that he has been Hydra since early in his time with SHIELD, that he was recruited during the brief time Sitwell served as his handler before Coulson took over. There had been a thought for a little while to have him believe that he switched sides a little after the battle of New York, to have him be recruited by Brock himself but he decides against it. The more a memory is altered, the more Clint’s mind may fight against it and so Brock decides to leave most of their interactions unchanged, to have their friendship play out in Clint’s head much as it did in real life. He has the more confrontational memories erased from Clint’s mind shortly after he is healed, Clint’s capture and their various interactions after, leaving him with only the memories of liking Brock, of trusting him. It is a good call because as the days pass and more memories are taken or changed the one thing that Barton seems sure of is Brock. Clint doesn’t shy away from his touch anymore, takes the food and drink that Brock offers him with no hesitance, and answers his questions easily._

_Brock tests the new memories as the days go by, makes certain they are sticking. Barton talks about his head being jumbled up, about it hurting and not remembering things and the techs assure Brock that the pain should pass. Clint is on various drugs to help the process and they tell him that the headaches and memory loss is the result of injuries sustained on a mission. They tell him he is safe here and that he wants to be here and that he is Hydra, always has been. They feed him lies and Brock reinforces them all to Clint till they start to sound like truth._

_Brock wants Clint’s loyalty and he ensures that he gets it, that there isn’t anyone else he feels as close to. They plant the idea in Clint’s head that his respect for Coulson and Fury was only given because there was little choice in the matter, that they forced him into SHIELD. Romanov is one of the few people that Rumlow wished he could erasure from Clint’s life completely, but she was his partner for years and it would be too much of a risk to wipe her out of his mind. He lets Clint keep most of his memories of Romanov, has them shaded with the idea that he kept her close as a mission. Brock can admit to himself that he is a little jealous of her closeness with Barton and that is why he has the memories altered the way he does, has them changed so there is little affection left for her in Barton. She isn’t the only one he is a little jealous of and Rogers doesn’t have as much history with Barton and so it is less of a risk to have him wiped more from Clint’s mind. Rumlow remembers how Rogers would look at Barton, remembers the slight curl of jealousy he would feel when Clint would hang out with the captain, the way Clint would sometimes look at Steve. He doesn’t want Barton thinking much of Rogers and so time spent with the man outside of missions, time spent with him as friends is all wiped away from him. The memories that Brock is involved in are kept whole but any other personal interactions with Rogers are taken away. By the time it is done, Clint holds no real thoughts about the captain, no fondness and Brock is glad of it. Barton is his now and he will stay that way._

*********

_The first thing Clint does almost every time Natasha comes over no matter what time it is, is offer her coffee and today is no different. The words had been out of his mouth as soon as he let her in and she decided to accept, followed him into his kitchen to find a pot already done and about half empty and Clint’s own cup sitting at the table. She doesn’t make any comment about how caffeine does not sub for sleep as he gets her cup down, the yellow one with a smiley face on it because Clint refuses to get new cups or dishes till his old ones break, and fixes her coffee. She sits down as he gets out the brown sugar that is probably pretty old since as far as she knows he only keeps it here for her and puts in little bit and then hands it to her. He refills his own cup and sits down across from her._

_“You have any plans for the day?”_

_She asks almost straight away, doesn’t see the sense in filling up their time with idle chit chat. They talk when needed and she doesn’t have a lot of time and there is something she wants him to do today. He shakes his head just a bit, takes another sip of coffee._

_“Not really, still not cleared for duty, was probably going to spend the day catching up on Netflix. “_

_In other words, Clint is going to stay in his apartment all day avoiding people like he has most days since the Loki incident. Natasha knows he has at least been going to his psych appointments and been keeping up with his training but sometimes she thinks he needs a little more interaction than that. He is doing well for the most part, all things considered but it doesn’t change the fact that he shouldn’t just stay cooped up in his apartment all the time. At least today she should be able to prevent that from happening._

_“I have to leave in a few hours and I was supposed to take Rogers shopping for some housewares. You are going to take him instead.”_

_There is a bit of raised eyebrow at her words and Clint takes another drink of his coffee before speaking._

_“I am? When was this decided?”_

_There isn’t really any anger in his voice, more like just a tiny hint of amusement that she has already made his plans for the day. He can be stubborn when he wants to be but she doesn’t think he is going to fight her on this too much. She simply gives him a little hint of a smile as she takes a sip of coffee and then speaks._

_“When I got called into work and you said you that you didn’t really have plans. Rogers needs a little help getting things for his apartment, you should be able to help with that. “_

_“I can but don’t complain if you go over there after I help him shop and nothing matches. I’m not exactly an interior designer.”_

_“I know that, anyone who has seen your apartment worries about your taste afterwards.”_

_Clint gives a deep sigh at the familiar insult and Natasha gives him another little smile. They talk for just a few minutes more after that, Natasha telling Clint where Rogers lives and then she has to head out. She squeezes his shoulder as she leaves and she is glad that at least today he might have a chance to focus on something other than his guilt for a little while._

Natasha is on the outskirts of town, near one of the more promising looking hiding places when she gets Steve’s message. It simply says that he thinks he has found something, that he is going to look into it and his location. Natasha takes out her phone and sends a message asking Sam if he received the same one. After confirmation that he did, she asks him to go there just to make sure everything is ok and he agrees. He is closer to the location than she is and she wants to follow up on this lead but doesn’t want to leave Steve without any backup. It makes her feel better knowing Sam will go find him and she heads to the abandoned building, starts to search it.

She starts to make her way to the top floor, checking as she goes. Her steps are light and she moves quickly, entering a room, looking it over and then exiting. She makes certain that a weapon is within her reach at all times, doesn’t want to be caught unaware. Natasha focuses on the search, pushes all other thoughts away right now, and tries not to be distracted. She doesn’t find much till she reaches the top floor, till she enters a room with large windows and when she sees it, she has to stop for a moment, bends down to look at everything closer.

On the ground there is a knife, a simple throwing knife, a type that she has used before. There is a small scratch on it, like something hit it with a bit of force. Her eyes move away from it and quickly she discovers what knocked it down, caused the mark on it, and it makes her take in a breath as she moves closer, as she picks up the arrow. There is no blood on the arrow head, no blood on the knife, but they are both signs that people were here, that there was a struggle.

Her fingers curl around the shaft of the arrow as she continues looking around the room. The arrow makes everything that is happening feel more real than the picture did. In her hand is proof that Clint was here, that he felt the need to fire an arrow. He must have left quickly after the struggle, fleeing or taken because the arrow is still here. When there is time, Clint has a tendency to pick up his arrows, saving them for further use. She doesn’t let go of the arrow the whole time she searches, looking for signs of how many people were here. By the time she is ready to leave the building, she has decided that only two people were here recently, most likely Clint and Barnes. She takes the arrow with her as she leaves the room, the knife as well.

She makes her way out of the building, starts to go further into the outskirts, looking for a trail. There is one that is very faint but she follows it. There is a tenseness in her now, a worry. She knows if she manages to follow this trail correctly she may see Clint for the first time in months but he may not be the Clint she knows anymore. She can see a shack in the distance and she moves towards it, sends a message to Sam so he will know to come here once he finishes helping Steve. She waits for an opportunity to make a move and hopes that the outcome will be something she can deal with, that it won’t cost her Clint.

*********


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little more. Not happy with the action but hopefully you still enjoy.

*********

Steve runs into problems about ten minutes after he enters the building, is spotted fairly quickly. It isn’t that many people and so he focuses on taking care of it as quickly as possible, before others show up. He has them on the ground and subdued fairly quickly but he hears the sound of footsteps and then a familiar voice and he knows that he wasn’t quite quick enough to avoid more notice.

“Hey, Cap. Looking for someone?”

Rumlow is standing in the room now, about ten feet from where Steve is, is looking over at him now. He stands alert, is armed and is probably ready for a fight. Steve keeps his eyes on him, doesn’t make a move towards or away yet. Clint isn’t here with him and Steve isn’t sure whether that is a good thing or not and he needs to know what is going on and so he speaks.

“I found you and I know that you didn’t come here alone. Where’s Clint and what did you do to him?”

Rumlow takes a step forward at Steve’s words but doesn’t make a move to attack yet. Steve stands still, waits to see if he is going to answer and Rumlow gives him a bit of a smirk now.

“Who said I did anything to him? Maybe you just didn’t know him as well as you thought. Did you think he was being tortured somewhere for months? Were you planning on rescuing him from us, Captain? I will tell you now, Barton doesn’t need or want rescuing.”

Steve refuses to believe what Rumlow is saying right now, refuses to believe that nothing has been done to Clint. There is a gesture given during Rumow’s words, a hand signal and soon a few others are coming into the room. There is nothing else being said now, the attack is on.

The numbers are against him but Steve has worked with that before. They seem to be fighting to capture, not to kill, and that helps just a bit. Rumlow gets as many hits in as he can and for all of his words about how it wasn’t personal before, Steve has the distinct impression that it is now. It is a feeling that he shares and he makes sure to trade as many blows with the man as he can.

Steve blocks the hits that he can, focuses on stopping the advantage that the numbers given them. It is like the elevator fight but that one had been a little easier, the small space had worked to his advantage. They could only move so much without possibly hitting each other but here there is more room and they don’t have as much trouble getting to Steve without getting in each other’s way. He gets separated from his shield after a little while, it ends up close to the door and has to rely on just his body for a weapon. He is getting surrounded, almost pinned down and though he has put a few down there are still a few standing.

“It might be a good idea for you to give up now, Cap.”

Rumlow says this as he almost manages to hit Steve with a stun baton. He doesn’t says anything, grabs Rumlow’s arm and pulls so that the baton falls. There are still agents between Steve and the exit, between Steve and his shield but hell if he is just going to let them take him. There are more footsteps coming and Steve is aware of them but much more focused on blocking the hits coming his way, keeping Rumlow from getting his baton back.

“Hey, Cap, catch.”

It is Sam’s voice and he has picked up Steve’s shield, is throwing it now as he runs into to help. Steve manages to get it and Sam is making sure to keep close to the door and Steve knows that it would be best if they get out of here and so he makes a run for it as soon as he manages to hit Brock with the shield, knocking him to the floor. Most of the agents are down now but they aren’t completely out of it but it has to be enough for now.

“I thought we weren’t engaging with Hydra if we could help it.”

Sam says this as they make their way out of the building, as they try to make sure that they aren’t being followed. Steve gives a bit of a shrug when they are out on the street, as they duck into an alley so that they can make sure that no one is behind them.

“I followed a hunch and got distracted. Clint wasn’t there.”

Steve says this as they move to the other end of an alley, they have managed to lose the others or at least aren’t being followed. Sam gets out his phone and glances at it.

“Natasha has a lead, we need to get there. She thinks she may have found both of them.”

That is all Steve needs to hear and they go on their way, heading to where Natasha said she would be. Steve tries not to think about what Rumlow said, about how Clint may be when they find him, how Bucky may be. He just has to hope they can get things figured out before others show up.

*********

_Clint puts the phone in his pocket, unlocks the bathroom door and enters the hotel room. Natasha is sitting there where he had left her about an hour before, on the bed legs spread out in front of her, back leaning against the headboard, and remote in hand as she flips through channels. He makes his way towards her, grabs one of the wooden chairs near the small table and brings it next to the bed, sits down as she asks a question._

_“So how many times did you get accused of being a traitor or sleeping with me?”_

_The question could almost sound teasing but he thinks that there is just a hint of concern in her tone though he can’t really be sure. He is still getting to know her, can’t quite read her well yet, but he has decided to take a chance on her and she is willing to trust him right now, so he gives her a small grin before answering the question._

_“I was accused of being a traitor five times and sleeping with you just once because Fury doesn’t think highly of my chances of being successful on dates.”_

_There is a raise of eyebrow at his answer and Clint isn’t sure if it is because of the joke or something else._

_“I thought you were calling your handler, not the director of Shield .”_

_Her words are said with no hint of emotion and she has turned her eyes back to the tv._

_“I called Coulson, told him what was going on and he patched me through to Fury because he wanted me to get yelled at directly instead of having to transfer it to me. Fury yelled at me but he listened.”_

_She turns back to him when he says this and her posture seems to relax just a bit._

_“They are going to come here in the morning, will take us both to headquarters. You may have to wear cuffs, hell, I may have to wear cuffs, but you won’t get shot and you will have a chance to be interviewed and then evaluated and if that goes well, you will be working for SHIELD.”_

_“And if the evaluation doesn’t go well?”_

_She asks him now and it is a variation of a question she has asked a few times since his offer and he answers it honestly like he has each time before._

_“Then I get you out of there, quit SHIELD, and we run away and start a life of crime as thieves or con artists.”_

_There is a brief flash of a smile at his words and he thinks she looks young when she does that, looks like she is wearing less of a mask and he really does mean it when he tells her he will quit SHIELD if they don’t take her. He thinks she deserves a shot at something more and he goes to do what he can to make sure she gets it._

_“I thought we would run away to the circus, not become scam artists.”_

_Her words are said lightly and he gives her a bit of a shrug._

_“Depending on the circus, there isn’t much of a difference. I don’t think we will have to worry about it though, I passed the evaluation and you are much more charming than me.”_

_There isn’t another smile but she gives just a bit of a nod at his words. They sit in quiet for a few minutes, Natasha still flipping through the channels till Clint speaks again._

_“We don’t have to stay in this room, just have to keep a low profile till morning. You want some food?”_

_She gives him a yes and then turns off the tv and gets her shoes on. They go and eat bad pizza and have ice cream after. That night, she lays in the bed and he sleeps on the floor and in the morning, Coulson is there and they both ride to SHIELD, neither wearing handcuffs and a week later, she is starting her probation period as an agent and Clint knows he made the right call._

Natasha hasn’t made a move towards the shack yet, is keeping her distance for now. Clint knows that she is checking for other buildings , will scope out the area around the shack before coming in. It is her standard procedure and he has ran enough missions with her to know that they still have at least a few more minutes before she will come here.

“She was with him, at the bridge. I tried killing her.”

Barnes says this simply as he moves away from the window, as he starts gathering his weapons. Clint can’t help but comment on this as he moves away from the window as well.

“You tried to kill her more than once. She wasn’t thrilled about the scar you left.”

“You know her.”

Barnes says this simply and Clint gives a nod.

“She was my partner in SHIELD or at least that was what everyone thought. I was supposed to watch her, make sure she didn’t cause problems.”

He says this, doesn’t see the sense in not telling Barnes the truth right now. His order from SHIELD had been to kill her but he didn’t and he can’t remember why and he isn’t sure why he brought her to SHIELD instead of Hydra. The pounding in his head is something strong now and he briefly brings his fingers to his temples and rubs.

“Is she looking for me or for you?”

Barnes asks as he grabs Clint’s arm, as he drags him to the back of the shed. He still has Clint’s bow though Clint has his quiver and his grip is not as tight as it was before.

“I’m pretty sure that she is looking for you and she won’t be exactly pleased to see me. Do you want her to find you?”

What Clint is really asking is if he wants Rogers to know he is here. Barnes shakes his head and he hasn’t let go of Clint’s arm yet.

“Are you ready to stop running from Hydra?”

There isn’t an answer given to that question though the grip on Clint’s arm tightens just a bit. Barnes is terrified of being caught by either of them. Clint has a mission he is supposed to complete, supposed to make sure that the soldier is brought back, but right now all he sees is someone who doesn’t want to be caught yet, doesn’t want to be used again, and he makes a decision.

“I can keep her here, give you time to run. Everyone is still going to be looking for you but I meant what I said, I will do what I can to keep you from getting wiped, try to let you have choices. If they can’t see the value in having you as something more than a weapon, I will help get you out of there but there are other people whose safety I would have to see to first, that I can’t leave behind.”

Clint would leave Hydra to get him out if all they are going to do is use him again, but he won’t leave the twins behind and he would have to talk to Rumlow, see if he would be willing to risk it as well. Clint trusts him and he is sure that he wants the best for the soldier, maybe he would be willing to leave Hydra or at least the base controlled by Struker to help him out.

Barnes is staring at him now, still hasn’t let go of his arm.

“Why should I trust you, why should I believe you?”

Clint gives a bit of a shrug, isn’t sure what to say, so he gives a bit of truth.

“I guess that you probably shouldn’t, that you have no reason to, but I could have said the phases and haven’t and I know what it is like to be used. I will do what I can to make sure that doesn’t happen to you again.”

There must be something in the way Clint says this that makes Barnes relax just a bit because the grip on his arm loosens and after just a moment lets go.

“How would I get a hold of you if I decide to trust you?”

It is a good question and Clint has a solution. He reaches into his quiver, finds what he is looking for. He takes out one of his arrows, hands it to him, points to something on the head of it.

“This arrow head has a tracker on it but it has to be flipped on, just like this."

He shows him and Barnes watches him to make sure he turns it off.

“If you decide to talk to me, turn it and I should be able to find you. If you are going to go, you should do it now or else she is going to find you before I can distract her and I will need my bow.”

Barnes hesitates for just a moment before handing him his bow. He takes the arrow from Clint, breaks the head off and puts it in one of his pockets.

“Are you sure about letting me go? That isn’t your mission.”

“It isn’t my mission but I make my own calls, I want to give you the chance to as well.”

This seems to be enough for Barnes and he gives Clint a nod before heading out the back door. Clint takes just a moment, to get out his phone, to send just a brief message to Brock to let him know that he is facing Natasha so the soldier won’t be found by her. He isn’t sure if he will get it and he hadn’t had a chance to get to his phone before now but his ear piece still isn’t working and this is the best way to give him a head ups in case something happens. His head is still aching a bit but he takes a few breaths as he leaves the front door, as he walks a little bit away from it. It only takes a few moments before he sees red hair again, a few feet away and he fires an arrow into a tree near her, catches her attention. As she turns to him, he takes another deep breath and prepares himself for a possible fight as he calls out.

“Hey, Nat. Were you looking for me?”

*********


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some more. Comments would be awesome and make me want to write more.

*********

_Brock sits on Clint’s couch, one of his mugs in his hands as he watches for the other man to finish showering. They had hung out the night before, slept together, and Brock just hasn’t left yet, made a pot of coffee and now just sits. This is becoming a pretty common occurrence, one of them staying at the other’s place and there had even been regular sugar in Clint’s cupboard today instead of just the brown. He had complained about it last time he was here, the fact that he only had brown and Clint had simply told him that he doesn’t use sugar much at all and the only person that comes over that puts sugar in their coffee is Romanova and she doesn’t use white. There had been a flare of jealousy at the reminder of just how close the two of them are but he hadn’t said anything about it, just drank his coffee black. When he saw the little bag of white sugar this morning, he had smirked just a bit before putting a spoonful in his coffee._

_He is still taking sips of his coffee when his phone goes off, a text message. It is from Rollins, nothing too terribly important, simply a message that some of them would be hitting up a new place tomorrow night, that he should go. He texts back that he might and soon enough there is another message telling him to bring Barton if he wants to and he texts back that he probably will if he shows up. Rollins is aware of what is going on with Barton, on Rumlow’s plans for his future and though he teased a bit about Brock liking snipers, he hasn’t given him much grief about it. He puts his phone back in his pocket as he hears the shower turning off, as he waits just a little longer for Clint to come into the living room._

_Clint walks into the living room and then the kitchen, hair still damp and wearing just a pair of old sweats. There is a bruise across his right ribs, one that Rumlow had noticed last night but didn’t say anything about and he still can’t help wondering where it came from as he watches Clint get his own cup of coffee before walking into the living room. There are a few other marks on Barton, a couple scratches, a small red mark on his collar bone, but Brock knows where those came from, had put them there himself. He likes leaving marks, can admit that he is a tiny bit possessive and the marks on Clint last longer than they do on the soldier. He pushes the thought of the bruise out of his mind as Clint comes back into the living room, cup of coffee in hand and comes to the couch._

_“Sticking around for a bit?”, Clint asks as he sits down next to him on the couch. They are close together and it is a bit tempting to touch him right now but he waits, gives a shrug._

_“Nothing else to do right now, thought maybe we could go get a bite in a bit.”_

_He keeps his voice causal, it isn’t like they don’t hang out together, lunch shouldn’t be a big deal. Rumlow has been trying to increase the amount of time they spend together these last few weeks, trying to get him even more comfortable with him._

_“We can do that. Guess that means I should find a shirt at some point.”_

_Clint says this and then takes another gulp of his coffee. Brock gives him a bit of a grin and gestures towards his chest._

_“You might want to cover that all up. Where did you get that bruise from anyway? Looks like it hurt a bit.”_

_His hand goes to the bruise now and Clint doesn’t stop his fingers from tracing it gently._

_“It came from sparring with Steve the other day. I’m just lucky he didn’t crack a rib, Cap has quite a bit of force behind his hits.”_

_Brock just gives a bit of nod, finishes up his cup of coffee and asks Clint where he wants to go for food in a bit. He doesn’t really feel like talking about Rogers, about the time Clint spends with the other man. There is nothing going on but friendship, Rumlow knows that, but that doesn’t change how Rogers looks at Barton, how much time they spend together, the fact that Clint thinks a lot of the captain. There is one thing that Brock learned about Clint Barton very quickly and that was that the man is loyal to those he cares about and it one of the things that had drawn Brock to him while also frustrating him at the same time. The problem with Clint being loyal is who he is loyal to. He is loyal to Fury, to the memory of Coulson, to Romanov, to Rogers, to those who are actually SHIELD. There is little chance he would betray them, no matter what feelings he may have for Brock, and that is why he is going to have be changed, why he is going to have to be taken soon._

_“There’s a place near by, a dinner. That sound alright?”_

_Clint’s question draws Brock away from his thoughts and he gives a nod and soon Clint is getting up again to find a shirt. He does so and they start to leave the apartment together. As they start to make their way to the dinner, Brock decides to see about tomorrow._

_“So some of the team is heading to a new place tomorrow night. Want to come?”_

_“Going to a museum with Steve tomorrow afternoon but I can make an appearance later. Just send me a text.”_

_There is a hint of annoyance that he has plans with Rogers but Brock brushes it off, tells Clint that he will send him a text. Just a few more weeks and he won’t have to worry about Rogers or Romanov taking up any of Clint’s time, he just has to be patient and everything will work out._

Brock is really starting to hate being hit with that shield. Rogers had managed to lay him out with it and the rest of his team had found themselves in similar positions. He had underestimated them again and he hates that they managed to get away. He picks himself up, checks for any injuries as the rest of his team does the same. That is when he notices his phone, sees that there is a message waiting for him. He clicks it open, scans it briefly and he feels a new surge of worry.

It is from Clint, just a brief telling of what is going on. He has had contact with the soldier, with Barnes, but Romanov has found them and he is going to engage so that she doesn’t get a glimpse of Barnes. It doesn’t tell Brock a whole lot but it tells him just enough to know that they need to get to where Clint is at as quickly as possible. The soldier could be gone soon and Brock doesn’t want to risk Clint being around the widow more than he has to, doesn’t want any of the old memories or feelings to be dredged up. He won’t let go of him now.

*********

The arrow goes right by Natasha, hits the tree closest to her. Some would think it was a miss but she is certain that it wasn’t and as she turns towards where she believes it came from, she hears a voice call out to her and her fingers tighten around the arrow she still holds in her hand, that she hasn’t been able to put away since finding it.

“Hey, Nat. Were you looking for me?”

Clint stands a bit away, bow and arrow in his hands but not pointed at her, not yet, but that could change in just a moment. His voice had been calm just now and he had called her Nat, just like he has before, but it is not enough to tell her just what he thinks of her. He stands still, eyes on her and he looks alright. His eyes are their normal color, no bags under them like there had been during Loki, and he looks unharmed. She doesn’t move towards him, not yet, simply makes sure she is looking at him when she speaks.

“I was checking up on a few things. Haven’t seen you in a while but I did find this. “

She holds the arrow up now, keeps her eyes on him but she doesn’t move forward yet.

“You don’t tend to leave these behind, run into some company?”

She asks the question, keeps her voice calm and steady. She isn’t quite sure how to play this yet, isn’t sure how to act towards him and it throws her off just slightly. Clint is someone she knows well but she has no idea how much of the Clint she knows is here now, how much of him was real, how much of him still exists. He has made no move to attack yet and he just sort of shrugs his shoulders a bit now.

“Was just in a bit of a rush.”

It isn’t really an answer and he still hasn’t made a move to attack or come any closer. He has kept himself in between her and the shack and she thinks he may be trying to keep her right here, might be trying to be a distraction. Barnes had been with Clint, she is almost certain of it, but there is no sign of him right now. She could try to make her way to the shack, try to see if Barnes is there but she still does not know enough about the situation to know what Clint is thinking, what he is going to do and so she tries to keep him talking, wants to see if she can figure out what has happened to him, just whose side he is on and why.

“It’s been a while since we have seen each other. Want to tell me why you haven’t given me a call?”

She takes a small step forward at her words, just one, and her eyes stay on Clint. He still doesn’t raise his bow yet and but it looks like his grip has tightened just a bit on it.

“ Don’t try to play it like this. You leaked the files, you know why I didn’t call. We aren’t exactly on the same side, never really were.”

His words sound sure, he believes them, but Natasha had looked over every inch of the files, there was nothing in them linking Clint to Hydra but it looks like he thinks there was.

“Yet you were the one who brought me to SHIELD, vouched to Fury for me.”

There is a question in her statement, one that she is certain he picks up on. He still hasn’t raised his bow yet and she has to be careful right now, needs to figure out her game plan quickly but also can’t provoke him too much. She has an edge in hand to hand but he can end her at a distance if he wants. She needs to close the distance but still be prepared to move quickly.

“Needed to keep an eye on you, that’s all.”

This sounds a little less certain than his words from before and Natasha wants to know just what he is thinking, just what he remembers. There isn’t much time to find out, Barnes may still be nearby and she has no idea if the rest of the team that is here is on their way. She takes another step, moves her empty hand closer to her side, closer to one of her knives but doesn’t grab it. Clint sees the movement and the bow is raised now, pointed at her but he doesn’t fire it yet.

“You can walk away, you’re not my mission today. I owe you one, for not killing me when Loki had me, but this will be the only time I make this offer.”

It sounds like a rational, like he is justifying his decision to not shoot right away to himself as well as to her. She takes another step forward as she speaks, as she keeps her eyes on him.

“You told me I could walk away once before. I didn’t. I’m not going to this time, either.”

She has her knife throws it just as he gets ready to shoot, moves quickly as she does so. The arrow gets knocked out of its path and she focuses on getting to Clint, on taking away his advantage. She just has to get him subdued, has to make sure that he can’t cause any problems right now.

They have spared like this before, him with his arrows and her with not much else. She uses everything that she learned from those sessions now, twists and turns, tries to close the distance. He is not holding back much, but something is just a little off. He still isn’t aiming to kill, not really, and she is certain that most of this is still a distraction and she wonders just what he is waiting for, what his plan is.

There is noise near them now, someone else is here and Natasha doesn’t turn to look at who it is, instead uses the slight distraction to get closer to Clint, to where she may be able to get his bow out of his hands. He twists away from her, loads an arrow very quickly and fires, but not at her.

There is a yelp of pain and she hears Steve’s voice call out Sam and she knows who has come here. She wants to turn and look, wants to see where the arrow landed, how much Sam has been hurt, but she doesn’t. Instead, she twists again, throws one of her little shock bombs. It isn’t enough to knock him out but it is enough to stun him for just a moment, gives her just enough time to get right next to him, to get her bite to his throat, to send more of a shock through his system. He tries to twist away from her but she doesn’t let him and it takes a few seconds but soon enough he is out and slumping to the ground. She moves her hand away then and allows herself just a breath before turning to see how much damage has just been done.

*********


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but hoping to get another one done in the next week or so.

*********

_“You sure you just want ice for that, that you don’t need it looked over?”_

_Steve asks Clint this as he makes his way to his freezer to get an ice pack, as he gives a look over to Clint who is making his way to the couch to sit down. They had just finished a sparring session a little while ago and Steve had landed a pretty good hit on Clint’s side and now they are back in Steve’s apartment, Steve wanting to make sure Clint is ok before he goes home._

_“I have broken and cracked enough ribs to know that it didn’t happen today, just need to ice it for a while to help with the bruising I’m going to get.”_

_Clint says this as Steve comes into the living room with the ice pack and Steve decides to trust his judgment, hands over the ice pack before sitting in his chair. Clint leans back and place the ice on his right side, holds it over his ribs and winces just a bit. Even if nothing was broken, the hit had to hurt and Clint will probably be sore for a few days._

_“Sorry I roughed you up a bit.”_

_Steve says this now and Clint simply gives a shake of his head._

_“Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you didn’t hold back. I have had worse injuries after a sparring session than some bruises. Hell, no one bled and nothing broke so I think we are doing just fine.”_

_Clint gives him a bit of a smile and it makes Steve relax a bit more, feel a little less guilty for hitting Clint in the ribs. Clint starts to tell him of some of his various injuries from the past, from sparring and from other things and Steve listens, fills Clint in on some of his own past hurts. Cuts and bruises never last long for him now, the serum taking care of them usually pretty quickly but back before Steve used to get covered in bruises, in cuts and scrapes because he wouldn’t run away from a fight, couldn’t back down. Bucky used to fuss over them a bit, would help him clean up and he tells Clint a little bit about that as well._

_Clint removes the ice after a little while, lifts up his shirt to see the damage. It is already starting to bruise, purple spreading out across his ribs but it isn’t that bad. Clint puts the ice pack back in Steve’s freezer before he gets ready to leave and he talks to Steve as he does so._

_“Going to hurt a bit the next few days but nothing I can’t work through. You got any plans coming up?”_

_Steve gives just a bit of a shrug before answering._

_“There is an art exhibit this weekend I’m thinking of going to, just not sure I want to go by myself.”_

_“You could call Natasha, I’m sure she could get you a date if you wanted one.”_

_Clint tells him this and his voice is a little teasing. Steve just shakes his head a bit at it._

_“Don’t want a date, just want someone to talk about it with you. You up for it?”_

_They haven’t had a chance to hang out for things other than sparring in a while and Steve really does like spending time with Clint and so it just seems natural to ask him right now._

_“Sure, sounds like fun. Just tell me the time and place and I will be there.”_

_Steve gives him the details and Clint gives him a smile before he leaves and Steve tries not think about how much he likes Clint’s smile, how much he likes Clint.  They have a good friendship going and that is enough for now._

Sam has been shot, the arrow sticking out of his left shoulder and Steve is just glad it wasn’t a head shot. It still isn’t good and there is a trickle of blood coming from it as Steve helps Sam to move to a tree, as he tries to keep his attention focused on both him and what is happening with Clint and Natasha. As he helps Sam to sit against the tree he hears something fall to the ground and when he glances back over, Clint is on the ground and Natasha stands, takes a deep breath before turning towards them.

“Well, today has went great so far.”

Sam grits this out, pain evident in his voice, but he doesn’t seem too bad off even with the arrow sticking out of him.

“Did it go all the way through?”

Natasha asks as she bends down to look over Clint, removes something from his ear and then goes through his pockets, grabs his phone. Steve helps Sam shift slightly and he can see that the arrow is not sticking out of his back, is still nestled in his shoulder and he tells Natasha this as she scans the phone very briefly.

“Break a little of the shaft off, we will have to get you somewhere where it can be dug out. We need to move now, need to check that shack. Barnes was here a while ago, here with Clint, and Clint let him go before confronting me. The others will be on their way soon.”

Steve has already gripped the shaft of the arrow once he had seen that it had not gone through and he snaps a bit of it off quickly and helps Sam to stand. Natasha has placed the phone and ear piece on the ground, has taken Clint’s quiver off of him and she moves to them now, helps Sam as she tells Steve to pick up Clint.

Steve does so quickly, had no intention of leaving Clint here even if the man was fighting against them. He hasn’t seen him in months and he looks him over briefly as he settles him in his arms, notices the mark on his neck. He will ask Natasha about it later, will ask her about what happened with Clint later, for now, he makes his way to the shed with Clint in his arms, hopes that Bucky is still near by.

In the shack, they see an arrow shaft on the floor and it is the only real indication that any one had been here. They move quickly after that, looking for any sign that Bucky is still around, still here. There is none and Steve can feel disappointment settle in his gut, worry clouding him. They are not going to find Bucky today, there isn’t much time to look for him right now, the hydra team is a on their way after all and Sam is injured, they may not be able to put up much of a fight and so they make their way away from the area quickly, taking Clint with them.

It is not the easiest journey right now, Sam’s shoulder is causing a bit of pain and Steve has to carry Clint the whole way but they do manage to make it out of there quickly, little sign of Hydra yet. They secure a vehicle and Steve places Clint in the back seat with Natasha, Sam siting in the passenger seat as he drives. A few minutes pass before Steve decides to ask a question that has been on his mind since he saw them fighting.

“Did he know who you were?”

He needs to know if they did to Clint what they did to Bucky, if they wiped him away and put someone else there.

“Yes. He called me by name, even gave me a choice to walk away but he believes he is Hydra, thinks he has been this whole time from what I was able to find out. I’m not sure just what he remembers, what was done to him, but we need to keep him away from them, see if we can get him to talk and figure out just what is going on.”

Natasha says all this and her voice is steady but she sounds tired, a little worried. He takes his eyes off the road for just a moment to glance at her and he can see how her eyes flicker between Clint still passed out next to her and Sam in the front seat. Sam feels her glance and gives her one of his own before speaking.

“Well, we probably shouldn’t stay where we are now, they might be able to find us and I don’t think I’m going to be much help the next few days.”

Steve can see out of the corner of his eye Sam shrug just a bit before wincing, the arrow head still giving him a bit of pain. They are going to have to get that out of him and he is going to need rest the next few days and they need somewhere safe. Bucky has to be placed aside for now. There is only one place Steve can think of and so he makes a decision.

“Contact Tony, see if he can get us out of here. We can take Clint to the tower, we should be able to keep him there.”

Natasha gives a nod and then she is taking her phone out and Steve can hear her talking to Tony, making plans. It isn’t the best solution but it is the only one that they really have right now, maybe once they are safe, once Clint is secured, Steve can come back here, see if he can find Bucky again. He just has to hope right now that Hydra doesn’t find him first, that they are making the right call in taking Clint right now, that Clint can be fixed from whatever was done to him, that the man that Steve knew those months ago is still there, can still be reached.

*********


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit more, hope everyone enjoys.

*********

_Natasha has officially been with SHIELD for three months now, has been doing missions for about a month of it. She has technically been an agent this whole time but it has been on certain terms, what they have called a probation period which she is still on now. There had been lots of limitations in the beginning, lots of tests and evaluations, things designed to see if she can be trusted. Natasha is pretty certain that she is still not fully trusted, that she is still be watching but she is allowed off base now by herself, doesn’t have to have another agent with her, and she has spent the day exploring just a bit and now she is in Clint’s apartment._

_He had invited her over to watch movies if she wanted to, she accepted and now she finds herself in his kitchen as he makes coffee. It feels a little strange to be in his apartment, in his personal space, but she is as comfortable around him as she is with anyone. These past months she has gotten to know him a bit better and she has let him get to know pieces of her which is more than most get. It is a friendship, a partnership, something Natasha hasn’t had in a long time if she ever really did, and she finds she likes it even if she is a little unsure about it. The coffee is finished and Clint hands her a cup, an old one that has a smiley face on it. His own cup looks just as old, has a picture of a dog on it, and Natasha has a feeling that none of his cups match. She gives him thanks, takes a sip of it. He had put a little brown sugar in hers like he has seen her do before, the bag he had used was brand new and she wonders if he only got it for her. She doesn’t ask, just simply follows him into the living room._

_“So what do you want to watch?”_

_He asks as he goes to his movies. She just gives a shrug as she answers._

_“Something funny but no cartoons.”_

_Natasha hasn’t watched cartoons in a long time, they bring up too many things, too many memories and triggers. He gives her a curious look about the no cartoons but he doesn’t ask, simply starts riffling through his movies. He doesn’t ask her too much about her past, told her once that all the shrinks will so he will just wait till she wants to tell him things and she has been grateful for it. She may tell him about it someday, but not today. Today, she sits on Clint’s couch and watches cheesy 80’s comedies as they talk a bit about random things and she lets herself relax just a bit. It is a simple afternoon, something lots of friends do and she is glad for it, glad to have Clint around._

They are safe now, are away from where Hydra was, back in the tower now and Natasha feels a bit worn from everything that has happened the last day, her mind still racing from the fight with Clint earlier. He is still asleep, a heavy sedative given to him before he could wake up from being shocked, and he has been placed in a safe room. He is laid on a bed there as they wait for him to wake up, as they wait for the results of the scans and blood tests that were done. They have already gone over everything that has happened, have pooled all the information that they each have, her confrontation with Clint, Steve’s with Rumlow, and they are pretty sure that something has been done to Clint, they just don’t know what exactly and to what extent, if it is something that can be worked through easily or not. Natasha had stayed with him for a bit but now she leaves, Steve watching him instead. She makes her way to a different room, needs to check on someone else for a little bit. As she enters the room, she is greeted before she can even say anything.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

Sam’s voice is soft and calm as she walks closer and she raises a bit of an eyebrow at his question.

“I feel like I should be asking you that. I didn’t get shot.”

Her eyes drift to his shoulder when she says this, to the clean white bandage that is there now. She had pulled the arrow out before they left, had bandaged him up, but once they got here, he had been looked over by Bruce, just to be safe. He seems alright but there is just a bit of guilt in Natasha that he was wounded in the first place.

“I’m all stitched up, Banner did a decent job, I have been given pain meds, and this bed is nicer than the one I have at home. I’m doing all right, all things considered, I want to know how you are doing.”

He is looking straight at her, his eyes meeting her and Natasha isn’t quite sure what to tell him. She still isn’t quite used to sharing what she is thinking, what she is feeling with others, has usually kept her true thoughts to herself. It was a skill taught to her when she was young and even when she was no longer that girl, it had always seemed safer to keep things hidden, to put up a front. She knows she doesn’t have to do that anymore, that she can trust Sam, but it still doesn’t make it any easier to tell him how she is doing right now because she isn’t sure herself. She thinks about it for just a moment before giving him an answer.

“I fought a friend today and it isn’t the first time I had to. We both survived it and I guess I can consider that a win but I’m not quite sure who we brought here with us, if the person I know is still there somewhere or if he is gone.“

The idea that they won’t be able to get Clint back, that the man she trusts so very much has been wiped away to nothing, is one that has been in her head since she fought him and she confesses the worry to Sam now. It feels a bit like exposing a weakness but she needs to speak about. Sam reaches for her hand and she lets him take it. His touch is warm and soft and it comforts her just a bit right now.

“I don’t know Barton, have never met the man before today, and he did shoot me in the shoulder, but I know you, I know Steve, and I know everything you guys have told me about him. If there was nothing of the guy that you have been talking about there, I think today would have gone very differently. “

There is a bit of hope in his words and Natasha knows that it may not be that simple but it is what she needed to hear right now and she squeezes his hand, doesn’t move her hand away yet. There is a moment of quiet and she keeps his hand for just a little bit longer, enjoys the feel of it. She gives him a small, quick smile before moving her hand away and speaking.

“We have him here now, we can figure out what happened to him. It will be a little while before he wakes up, a little bit before all the test results are done, before we can find out more. I am going to get myself something to drink, maybe steal some of Tony’s fancy snacks. Would you like some?”

Sam gives her a nod and she leaves the room now, goes to get something for them to eat and drink. It is a bit of a distraction, something to help take her mind off of everything for a little while. All Natasha can do right now is wait for Clint to wake up, wait for the test results and she might as well do that with Sam instead of being alone.

*********

_“So I know a place near by, a dive, we can shoot some pool. Up for it?”_

_The mission is over and Brock asks Clint this as they are finishing up, getting ready to leave. Clint doesn’t have anything else going on and it is nice hanging out with Rumlow, nice sort of being with someone again and so he gives him a smirk as he answers._

_“Sure but no darts?”_

_Rumlow gives just a hint of his own smirk and he smacks Clint’s shoulder as he speaks._

_“No, asshole, I want to do something that I can at least look like I have a shoot at beating you.”_

_Clint gives him a grin as they leave the room and his hand stays on Clint’s shoulder, a warm grip, a causal touch that Clint has gotten used to. They run into Steve after just a few moments._

_“Hey Cap, we are going to shoot some pool. Want to come?”_

_The invention is out of Clint’s mouth before he even really thinks about it. He likes Steve, he likes Brock, it may be fun to hang out with both of them. Steve looks at them and there is just a flicker of tension that passes over his face before he smiles, answers the question._

_“Sure, if I’m not intruding.”_

_“The more the merrier.”_

_Brock says this and Clint feels a tiny bit of relief that he is ok with Clint inviting Steve. The three of them make their way to the bar after that. It is close by, a very easy walk, and Clint goes and gets drinks while the others go to find a table. He soon is making his way back to them, drinks in hand and he gives one to Brock before speaking to Steve._

_“I almost want to text Nat, she thinks you need to get out more.”_

_It is a conversation that he has had with her before, about Steve being more social, how it may be good for him. Clint thinks Steve is adjusting well for the most part but he can see her point sometimes._

_“I get out.”_

_Steve says this, shakes his head as Clint tries to hand him the drink._

_“I know you can’t get drunk but you might like the taste of it. Just try it.”_

_He says this and offers the drink to Steve once again, this time he takes it and tells Clint thanks, fingers brushing over his. Clint likes the brief flicker of touch, likes Steve’s hands, but he knows that he is a friend, nothing more. It is not a bad thing, having someone like Steve for a friend, and overall Clint is in a good place right now. He brushes aside his thoughts as they start to play the game._

_It is fun, shooting pool with the Steve and Brock, and it doesn’t take long for him and Rumlow to start their teasing and banter. Steve joins in a bit but most of the night he is a bit quiet, seems to a little distracted and when they finish a couple game, Steve calls it a night. Clint stays with Rumlow, plays a couple more games just the two of them, and then he follows the man back to his place. They fall into bed together like they usually do, Brock touching a little rougher tonight but Clint still enjoys it and over all, it was a good night._

There is pain in his head as Clint wakes up, the pounding that he has had before, and he feels a bit groggy. His eyes open and he starts to sit up as he looks around the room, everything that happened before he passed out coming to him and he knows he isn’t going to be alone, wherever he is. He is right but he is just a tiny bit surprised by who he finds watching him, had expected Natasha since she was the one to fight him, to knock him out, and information gathering is her thing.

“Clint.”

Rogers says his name, is standing just a few feet away, staring at Clint intently. Clint meets his gaze, doesn’t look away.

“Rogers.”

He says the name simply, no real emotion to it and there is a look that filters across Rogers’s face for a moment that Clint hadn’t expected. It looked worried almost, sad in a way, and Clint has no idea why.

“We should talk.”

Rogers says this, comes a bit closer. Clint isn’t bound, he could fight but his head aches and he is pretty sure that wherever they brought him is going to be tough to get out of and so he doesn’t make a move against Rogers yet. Instead, he gives a bit of a shrug.

“Figured Nat would be the one to do the questioning. After all, she was my partner, might know me better than you. It is not like you and I spent all that much time together off the clock.”

Clint says this now and there is another flicker of something like worry that passes over Rogers’s face. Before Rogers has a chance to say anything, there is an interruption.

“Captain Rogers, the test results are finished. The others would like to speak with you.”

It is a computer voice that speaks and it gives Clint a clue about where he has been taken now. He is probably at Stark tower and that is going to make getting out of here a little more difficult. Rogers hasn’t left yet, looks like he wants to say something else but Clint simply gives another shrug.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

The words are simple and Rogers gives him one more glance before leaving the room. Once he has left, Clint brings his fingers to his head, tries to rub away the pain so he can figure out just how the hell he is going to get himself out of here.

*********


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit more and this is going to be completely au from now on but that is allright. Comments are awesome.

*********

Steve listens as Tony and Bruce tell them all that they have been able to find out from the tests, listens but his eyes don’t look at them, they stay glued to the footage that is playing of Clint in the other room. He is simply sitting there right now, fingers every once in a while moving to his temple and rubbing, but for the most part he is still, calm. Steve watches him as Bruce says a little more about the results.

“We compared his scans to ones that were in the files from Barnes, they were a little similar but not completely the same. All we can really tell is he hasn’t been made a blank slate, that some of his memory is probably still intact and others probably altered. Something has been done, some kind of trauma but we don’t really know the extent of it.”

It confirms a lot of what Steve has already thought, what he and Natasha spoke about after they brought Clint here. Clint’s words from earlier have stuck in his head, his words about not hanging out off the clock. It could have been sarcasm but it didn’t sound like it, sounded like Clint believed it, believes that he didn’t spend much time with Steve and that hurts. It had hurt when Bucky had no idea who he was and this hurts as well, makes him hate Hydra even more than he already did. They have taken two people that he cares about and have twisted them about, used them for their own means.

“Were the wipes and the memory alteration the only thing done?”

Natasha asks, draws Steve out of his thoughts and he glances at her for just a moment, can see that she is staring at the screen that shows Clint just like he is. There is little expression on her face but she stands just a little stiffly, a bit of tension in her body and Sam stands right next to her. He didn’t have to be here, could be resting but he came when Natasha did, said that he could rest later and he moves just a bit closer to Natasha now. Steve looks at them for just a moment longer before turning his attention back to the screen, listens as Bruce answers the question.

“No. There are chemicals in his blood, drugs that we are still analyzing. My guess right now is that they are to help reinforce what has been done to him previously, maybe make him a bit more responsive to suggestion. They should flush out of his system eventually. ”

“Are there going to be withdraw symptoms?”

Steve asks, needs to know if they have any idea what is going to happen to Clint the next few days. Bruce tells them that it is very likely, that they have no real idea just what the withdraw will be like but that more than likely there will be some sort of effect on Clint not having the drugs given to him in the next few days.

“He seems to be in decent shape physically at least and that should help with some of the withdraw. He is only a little beat up and he has that mark on his throat. That come from the widow’s bite?”

Bruce asks as he is finishing up his explanation and Natasha shakes her head, says that it was there before she shocked him.

“It looks like a hickey. You think it came from Rumlow?”

Tony says this and Steve hadn’t really wanted to think about that, about the fact that more than likely Rumlow and Clint are together in that way right now. It is something he has been aware of but has pushed aside, tried to focus on other things. His eyes stay on the footage of Clint as Natasha speaks again.

“Doesn’t matter right now, all that matters is that we have Clint here and we start to try to figure out how to fix him and we continue looking into what Hydra is doing and finding Barnes.”

They talk for just a bit longer about the various things that have been done to Clint, about what more information they need, and by the time they decide to finish the conversation, Steve still doesn’t feel much better about everything, still has no idea if he will be able to get either of his friends back.

*********

_Brock feels just a bit nervous right now, has for the last few hours, has since Clint left for his mission. There are worries flowing through his head right now, worries that Clint may not complete the mission, worry that Clint may not return to base, worry that the conditioning may break down, worry that everything Rumlow has been working towards these last few months is about to come crashing down. He tries not to think about it, tries to focus on speaking with Strucker right now, the man going over a few things with Brock and giving him a few veiled warnings and threats about what could happen if the mission does not go well. Today is a test, a way to make sure that everything Clint has gone through has stuck, that he is Hydra’s now and Rumlow just hopes that it is passed, that Clint won’t need any further breaking._

_A little bit of his worry eases when they receive word that Barton has reported in, that he is on his way back to base. There is no way to know just how Clint is till he gets here but at least he has completed the mission, is returning. Rumlow waits for Clint now with Strucker, goes over a few more things as minutes pass and soon enough there is the sound of footsteps and Brock turns and looks, sees Clint coming towards them. He gives him a nod as he gets closer but Strucker is the first to speak._

_“Ah, Agent Barton, I heard you have something for me.”_

_“It is all here, sir. The latest plans, the only copy, and the target is dead.”_

_Brock moves closer as Clint speaks, as he hands over the drive to Strucker. He looks alright for the most part, a little bit of annoyance on his face but his words had been steady and Brock pays little attention to Strucker as the man goes and inserts the drive, most of his focus is on Clint and he asks a question._

_“It go smoothly, no problems?”_

_Clint gives him an answer as Rumlow puts a hand on his shoulder._

_“Went smooth, left no clues.”_

_Clint has his fingers on his forehead now, is rubbing it. It is a gesture that Brock has seen fairly often now. He asks him if he is alright and Clint gives him a response of just having a bit of a headache as Brock keeps a hand on him.   Brock doesn’t worry about it too much, he was told that headaches could be one of the side effects of everything that was done. There are some pills in their room that should help with it, should help reinforce the ideas that have been placed in his head if his brain is trying to fight against them a bit. For now, Rumlow rubs little circles on Clint’s shoulder and he feels him tense up for just a moment before relaxing into the touch. Everything seems to be holding up so far and Brock will give him some of the pills when they get back to their rooms just to make sure._

_“It is all here. He is a good asset, Rumlow. You are both dismissed.”_

_Strucker’s words draw Rumlow out of his thoughts and there is just a hint of approval in his voice. Brock gives a nod at the word dismissed and starts to turn to go with Barton when Strucker says something else that makes both of them pause._

_“Hail Hydra.”_

_Brock returns it quickly enough but Clint doesn’t say it right away. The whole time they have had him, he hasn’t said those words. Brock tightens his grip on Clint’s shoulder, tries not to let any of his apprehension show right now and waits. Strucker is waiting as well and just a moment passes before Clint swallows and then speaks._

_“Hail Hydra.”_

_The words sound steady, sure, and right coming from Clint’s mouth and they get a nod from Strucker, a silent permission for them to leave now. Brock gives Clint’s shoulder a squeeze and he gives him a grin as they leave the room, as they make their way down the hallways and back to their rooms._

_Barton enters before him, almost immediately sits down at the table and picks up one of the photographs sitting there. As Brock gets closer, he can see that it is a picture of the widow and he takes it out of Clint’s hands as soon as he is next to him. Barton doesn’t need reminders of his past right now, he needs to focus on now, on the past that has been given to him now. He starts to stack up all the files as he asks Clint a question._

_“No reason to think about her right now. How’s your head?”_

_“Feels like a brick keeps hitting it.”_

_Brock gives a snort as he puts the files down, goes and gets some water and the pills. He hands the water to Clint and starts to shake out a few of the pills, knows just how many he needs to give and just what he needs to do to reinforce all the conditioning that they have put him through. He holds them out to Barton and his stomach tightens up just a bit when he doesn’t take them, when his head shakes no and speaks._

_“Just need to lay down in the dark.”_

_“These will help, make it go away faster.”_

_He needs Clint to take the pills, needs to make sure nothing is breaking free and so he holds them out again._

_“Don’t like drugs.”_

_The words are spoken causally and if they were just aspirin, Rumlow would just let Barton tough it out but he isn’t about to let everything he has worked so hard for go down the drain because of stubbornness._

_“Not trying to poison you. You trust me, don’t you?”_

_He says this and there is a pause before Clint answers. The pause makes a bit of worry flare up again but his answer soothe it just a bit._

_“You know that I do.”_

_The words are steady and sure and Brock holds out the pills once again and speaks._

_“Then take the damn pills.”_

_Clint opens up his own hand now, takes the pills from Rumlow. He swallows them down, takes a sip of water as well before speaking again._

_“There, happy jerk?”_

_The word jerk makes Brock smiles just a bit and he puts the bottle down, goes to stand behind Barton as he speaks._

_“Was that really so hard? “_

_He puts his fingers on Clint’s head now, starts to rub little circles along his scalp. Touch seems to help calm him down and helps reinforce the idea that he wants to be here, that he is safe with Brock._

_“I still want a nap.”_

_These words are spoken with just hint of a wine and Brock just smirks a bit at them, tells him that they can do that and then he follows him into the bed. The lights are dimmed and some of Clint’s layers are shed, a few of Rumlow’s as well and then they are lying down. He puts his hand back in Clint’s hair, rubs the little circles again and holds him close. He can feel Barton start to relax in his arms and as he does so, Brock starts to speak to him, soft words meant to keep the ideas placed in Barton’s head whole. Brock doesn’t even consider the words lies any more, to him they are the truth and the drugs and wipes make them the truth for Clint as well._

_“You are safe with me, we make a great team, the two of us. Hydra is going to rise again, better than before.”_

_He keeps murmuring similar words softly for a while, makes sure Clint hears the words as he starts to drift away. Clint sleeps in Rumlow’s arms and it is nice, something worth keeping and he will keep it._

Everything is damn mess right now and it all has Brock fuming as he walks through the base, as he tries to get himself calmed down enough to be able to come up with a plan. He needs to act quickly and it has already been a few days since he last saw Barton, since he was taken and each day he is away means another day that the conditioning may start to break. Rumlow is not going to give Barton up now, no matter what Strucker may think.

He had just gotten finished speaking with the man, explaining everything that had happened. Part of the team was left behind to still pursue the soldier but Brock had come back here to speak to Strucker directly, to explain that Clint was taken and to get some resources to get him back. Strucker had simply said that now was not the time but that Barton would be taken back from the avengers when possible, that they could remold him if needed later, that Hydra would still have use for him, that since Rumlow couldn’t keep ahold of his prize perhaps he did not deserve it . His message had been heard loud and clear. Strucker intends to let Clint stay there a bit, perhaps let the conditioning break so that it can be redone how Strucker would like, that he intends to take Clint away and Rumlow is not about to let that happen.

He knows where Barton is, knows exactly where they took him, he just needs to figure out how to get him out of there. Brock has a few people here that are loyal to him over Strucker, who might be willing to help him out, and he makes a list in his head as he enters his rooms, as he closes the door behind him.   He will have to plan everything out carefully, will have to make sure Strucker doesn’t interfere and he starts to gather up a few of his things when he feels something like a breeze go by him and he looks over and notices that the door is open now. Before he gets a chance to really react, the bag he had in his hands is pulled out of them very quickly and placed across the room and Pietro stands in front of him.

“You are leaving again already? You just got back, though I think you left someone behind.”

There is something very accusing in his tone and no doubt word about Barton being missing has spread around the base and Brock should have expected this. Before he can really say much of anything, Wanda is walking through the door, closing it behind her and Rumlow is basically trapped in his room with two super powered brats who have never particularly warmed up to him and who both look pretty pissed. This is such a fucking mess.

“What happened to Clint? Why is he not back here?”

Wanda asks and Rumlow doesn’t miss the red glow around her hand. He seen a bit of what that red glow can do and he doesn’t want to have to deal with it and so he starts talking.

“He was taken. He ran into a couple of the avengers, they managed to overpower him and take him back to Stark’s place.”

He can a spark of anger at Stark’s name in both of their eyes and he remembers what he has been told about their past. They are not big fans of Tony Stark, don’t particularly care for any of the avengers, but they adore Barton. If he plays things right, this could work out all right.

“Why did they take him?”

Wanda asks and the red is still around her hands but she hasn’t thrown it at him yet. Brock knows that the next few things that he says will be important and so he makes certain to speak calmly.

“ A few of them thought that he was their friend, they probably took him to get answers, to see how much of what they thought they knew was a lie, maybe convince him it was the truth.”

Both of them are watching him and they still seem angry but it is calming down just a bit. All Brock has to do is direct that anger else and the avengers and Strucker are good targets.

“What is being done to get him back?”

Pietro asks now and Brock knows that now is his chance.

“Strucker has ordered that nothing be done right now. Clint isn’t a priority to him but I’m not leaving Barton there. I’m not going to risk that they manage to get him to think he is on the wrong side.”

They are still staring at him and the red finally leaves Wanda’s hand. There is relief but Brock doesn’t let it show.

“We are coming with you.”

The words are said by Pietro and Wanda gives him a look that says she will not hear any debate about it. Brock gives a nod and then the three of them talk and start to figure out a plan. Rumlow also speaks to them a bit about Barton’s relationship with the avengers, about the cover story they gave Clint about being injured on a mission, makes certain to give an explanation in case a lot of the conditioning has broken down by the time they get there in case Barton is acting odd. They will have to plan carefully but this all should work out. Rumlow not letting Clint go if he can help it.

*********


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, got pretty stuck on it. Hopefully I can get more done soon and hope you enjoy.

*********

_After the battle was over, after they had eaten and took care of a few things, Stark offered them rooms at the tower to crash in for the night. All of them took him up on it, too tired and worn to really go anywhere else. Nothing was said when Natasha and Clint headed in the same direction and if anyone saw them go into the same room, it didn’t really matter. Natasha doesn’t want to be alone right now and Clint doesn’t need to be alone. The last few days have been rough for both of them and even though they won’t say it, they both need each other right now and so Natasha finds herself sitting on a bed waiting for Clint to get out of the shower._

_He had let her have the shower first and she feels better with all the dirt, grime, and blood washed off of her even if she still feels a bit off. Natasha survived the day, did everything that she needed to, but that does not change the fact that she had to face certain things about herself, about who she is becoming. She almost lost Clint and that was rough and the fact that they did lose Coulson just hammers it in a little bit more. Caring had been a weakness, that is what the red room told her. Emotions are supposed to be a tool to use against your enemies, not something you think about, that is something the red room taught but she isn’t with the red room anymore. She has changed since those days, now she cares, wants to make up for what she did before, and caring can be used against her. Loki had tried it earlier and he succeeded more than she showed, more than she will ever let anyone know. It is something she will learn to deal with, Natasha is a survivor, she can survive this._

_The shower has turned off and Clint is coming back into the bedroom now, clean and in sweats and a t-shirt, his hair still damp. There are dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders are tensed up, and there are a few bruises and scratches on him but he is alive, whole, and his eyes are their own color, not the cool blue they were earlier.  He has come out of this relatively unharmed or at least that is how it appears but Natasha knows how deceiving appearances can be. For now she simply looks at him as he gets closer to the bed, gives him just a hint of a smile as she gestures to the room around them._

_“Much nicer than where we usually stay. Definitely much nicer than that first motel we shared. I’m surprised you didn’t catch anything from the floor.”_

_Clint gives her just a bit of a smile, a tired, brief one that doesn’t reach his eyes, and comes just a little closer to the bed as he speaks._

_“I laid down the extra sheet, it was fine. I slept on worse, that floor was nothing even if it was bit dirty.”_

_“Well, this floor is clean but you should still use the bed.”_

_It is her way of telling him that she wants him close tonight, wants him nearby and he just gives a nod. He settles on the bed next to her and this is familiar by now. They aren’t lovers, aren’t a couple but they are comfortable with each other, have spent nights together laying in the same bed and they both need the closeness tonight, need to be together and not alone. She lays next to Clint and neither of them sleep for a long time but they are alive and together and she takes comfort in that fact._

Natasha knows how to get information out of people, it was a skill she was taught at a young age and one she has perfected over years of use. Interrogation has many forms for her, is something she is comfortable with. She can read people, can figure them out quickly, know which spots to push to get her what she wants. Usually if she knows more about a person it is easier for her to figure out how to get them to talk but that may not be the case with Clint. She knows him but he has been changed now, mixed up, memories gone or changed, and she isn’t sure if his weak spots will be the same now. There are still pieces of him that seem like her Clint but she isn’t sure how many or just how to use them to figure things out. So far, it hasn’t worked out well.

Clint hasn’t been very cooperative with them yet, hasn’t spoken very much. He won’t tell them much about his encounter with Barnes, simply shrugged and told them maybe he doesn’t want to be found. He seems so sure of which side he is on, so sure that he is against him and they need him to realize it isn’t true. They have shown him the scans, shown him his blood results, asked him about them but he hasn’t really given them an answer yet. They are trying to see if they can get some of his real memories to surface, to see if they can get an idea of just how much has changed but they have to be careful with how much they push, with what they say. If they try to get him back to how he was before too quickly, he could snap and that is nothing any of them want and so Natasha prepares herself before she enters the room, tray of food in hand. She takes a breath before going in, hopes that progress can be made today.

Clint is on the bed, eyes facing her, and he doesn’t say anything yet. She moves towards him, puts the tray on the table near the bed and sits down in a chair near by. Clint’s eyes stay on her the whole time and she expects nothing less, and she keeps her eyes on him as well. A few minutes of quiet pass, both of them just looking at the other but not saying anything and Clint makes no move to touch the food yet. Natasha decides to make the first move, takes a piece of toast off the tray and starts to eat it, doesn’t move her gaze away from Clint. He doesn’t say anything till she has finished the toast, till she reaches for one of the water bottles, and he is still staring right at her, expression neutral.

“So here to talk again? Going to show me some more test results, try to connivance me that I don’t know what is going on in my own head?”

Natasha takes a sip of water, waits a moment before speaking again.

“No test results today, just thought you would want breakfast. I even brought you coffee, black no sugar. “

He is still looking at her, still watching and he gives a shrug right now as he speaks, the gesture causal and familiar, one she has seen him do so many times before.

“You know me so well, don’t you, Nat? Or at least you think you do. Is it easier to think that I have been messed with than it is to think that maybe you aren’t as good at reading people like you thought?”

The words are meant to sting, to make her doubt herself and she says nothing to them. Instead, she takes another slice of toast, eats a couple more bites, and keeps looking at him. He doesn’t look away from her, makes no move to take anything from the tray and he gives her just a little smile for a second before he speaks again.

“That’s what it is about, isn’t it? You owe me a debt, right? That is what you always said. I brought you to SHIELD, gave you a chance at something else and you were so sure that it was real. Now it isn’t and you are trying to figure out just how you were fooled, just how you could be so wrong. “

The words are cruel, more made to cut, to hurt, and it is just more proof that care has been taken to keep Clint intact, that some of his memories are still whole. He has always known how to hurt her, just before he would always choose not to. She can’t let it hurt her now, can’t let it show so she simply gives a shrug, takes a sip of water and then speaks again, gestures to his neck as she does so, to the bruise that is there.

“That come from Rumlow?”

They haven’t said anything to him about Rumlow yet, have been careful with what they say but she mentions the man now, wants to see how Clint is going to react, wants to draw his attention away from what he has been talking about. His expression is guarded right now, he is being careful not to show anything, to try not to give anything away, and so Natasha just keeps speaking.

“I know your type, remember the bruise you had on your arm, the one you had when we watched movies with Steve. He thought he hurt you and you told him that it didn’t come from him, didn’t want him to hold back when you guys sparred. You told me that it was nothing serious but a few weeks after that I saw white sugar in your cabinet. It isn’t hard to figure out you are doing something with him.”

Clint is still silent, still not speaking but Natasha had seen just a flicker of confusion on his face for a moment when she said something about hanging out with Steve. They have managed to piece together just enough to know that a lot of his memories of Steve seem to be different now but Natasha doesn’t mention more about that right now, focuses on speaking about Rumlow. Clint has always been more loyal to people over agencies and if she is right, if they tried to keep Clint as much intact as possible, if he was really taken because Rumlow wanted to keep him, he is probably much the same now. It means that they need him to question his loyalty to Rumlow rather than just his loyalty to Hydra.

“He said something about you months ago, when strike caught us. Said it was personal with you, that they would take good care of you. Steve and I looked for you for months and when we finally find you, you’re with him, fighting with Hydra. You should think about who you trust, about if things really make sense.”

Clint doesn’t say anything and she wonders if perhaps she had made a dent, if something is going to shake through. There is a tenseness in him right now, a stubborn set of his shoulders and she doesn’t think he is going to talk to her anymore right now. She needs him to think about what she has just said, needs him to go over everything in his head, so she gets up and moves to the door. Right before she leaves, she turns to him and says one more thing.

“I know what it is like, to be unmade, but I know you can put yourself together again. I will be there for you when you do.”

She leaves the room now, shuts the door behind her and walks away. Natasha will check up on him later, will speak to him again when it is the right time. For now, she needs to step away for just a bit, give herself some time to focus on something else. She decides to go check on Sam, he has a way with helping her think about other things. She enjoys his company, likes spending time with him, and what that means is something she will focus on later. For now, she will just go see him and give herself a few moments of not focusing on just what has been done to Clint.

.*********


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, this fic is giving me fits. Hope people are still reading and enjoying and comments would be great.

.*********

“Can we get him yet?”

It is Pietro who asks right now and Rumlow has learned very quickly that patience isn’t the kid’s strong suit. Wanda seems to have enough for the both of them but even she is growing tired of waiting, Rumlow can tell but they need to wait just a little longer, will only have this one shot. They are in position but the right chance hasn’t showed up yet and Rumlow is ready for it.

“Not yet but it is getting close. We will get him out of there when we have our opening.”

It seems to soothe both twins just a bit and Rumlow goes over things with them a bit more. It won’t be much longer and they will be able to get Clint back, perhaps even get something to ensure that Strucker doesn’t try to punish them for this. Brock just hopes that he won’t have to break him again. If it comes down to it, he will but for now he just plans things out with the twins and waits for the right moment, knows it will come soon.

.*********

It has been a rough few days and Steve is worn. There hasn’t been any sign of Bucky since they brought Clint here and Clint himself is not being very helpful either.   He isn’t overly aggressive, hasn’t really tried to escape yet, but he doesn’t really speak much to them and he doesn’t seem to believe what they have been trying to tell him. Steve has spoken with him a few times and he has acted like they never knew each other, like they spent no time together, and he doesn’t trust any of them right now.They need something, more proof to show him, to help convince Clint that something has in fact been done to him but so far there hasn’t really been anything that has helped.

“Are you sure that there isn’t anything we could show him? Some kind of mention of his capture and Rumlow being involved?”

Steve asks Tony now, needs to know. JARVIS has been going through the copies of the old Hydra files, looking for anything that can be helpful and Steve hopes that there will be something that points out that Rumlow can’t be trusted. From the little they know, from what Natasha suspects, a lot of the conditioning done has been done to ensure that Clint trusts Rumlow, cares for him, and they may not be able to get anywhere with Clint until he starts doubting Rumlow.  Tony just gives him a shake of his head as he speaks and Steve can feel disappointment settle over him once again.

“There isn’t any reference to him being captured, the only thing that could come close is a note about Pierce approving Rumlow’s prize and it being secured but it isn’t mentioned what it is. It is a pretty safe assumption at this point that it is referring to Barton but his name is never mentioned.”

Tony shows him the email then and Steve reads it and it is pretty vague but it makes fresh anger rise in him. He is sure that it is talking about Clint, even if his name isn’t mentioned, just the word prize and reward and it reminds him of the files he read about Bucky, the files that only referred to him as the asset. Bucky is more than a weapon and Clint is more than a trophy and Steve hates the fact that Hydra has twisted them both up, has tried to make them less than what they really are.   He is tensed up now and Tony notices it, removes the email from the screen that Steve was looking at and speaks a little bit more.

“Look there isn’t anything we can show Barton that he hasn’t already seen and the drugs are leaving his system but we have no idea how long it will take to get through to him, we just may need to give Natasha a bit more time to figure out how to get to him. There isn’t any sign that Hydra is looking for him, we may have a bit more time to get stuff figured out. Bruce and I need to go to that conference tomorrow, have to keep up appearances, will be gone for a few days, but Hill will be in contact and Rhodey is just a call away if you guys need him and we will get this all figured out, are still looking for Barnes.”

Tony’s words are true enough and Steve just gives a bit of tense nod, leaves him so that he can get things ready for his trip tomorrow. Steve is still tensed up, needs to be doing something, so he goes to the room that he is staying in right now. Some of his stuff is here, brought in for his stay, and his eyes land on a sketch pad. He opens it up, looks at a few of the pictures and it gives him an idea. He goes and finds Natasha, finds her with Sam, and asks if she thinks it may be worth a shot, see if it will jar anything.

“It might but you can’t push too much, he may shut down, but it can’t hurt to try it.”

She says it simply, gives him permission, and they decide that tonight for dinner, Steve will bring it to Clint instead of Natasha and hopefully he can help him, help Clint start to realize that something has been done to him.

.*********

_His head aches, not as bad as it did earlier, but it still hurts. During the session, his head hurt with sharp pain, like a knife cutting through, pain so strong that he couldn’t think of anything else. Now that it is over, now that Clint is back in his cell, hands bound and sitting on his cot, there is still pain but it is different. It is not as sharp, more dull and throbbing, and he can think but his thoughts are all jumbled up and he knows that some of them are lies and some are truths and it is getting harder to tell the difference. He has to think about the differences, has to focus on what is being done so that he can keep himself, but that would be a lot easier to do if he would be left alone and allowed to think, if it was only him in this cell._

_“You’re going to be all right soon, everything will make sense again soon enough. You’re safe here, Clint, this is where you are supposed to be.”_

_It is Rumlow’s voice in Clint’s ears right now, Rumlow holding him, rubbing little circles along the back of his neck. He tries to shift away from the touch even though it is familiar, even though he knows he has let Brock touch him before, it isn’t something he wants now. There is a reason for that but Clint can’t quite think of it right now but it doesn’t stop him from trying to move away, from speaking._

_“Not safe, not supposed to be here. Don’t lie to me.”_

_Rumlow just moves a bit closer, doesn’t let Clint move away and he speaks again, voice calm and soothing._

_“Not lying to you. You are safe here and you do belong here. You’re Hydra, you just don’t remember right now. You can trust me, I’m your friend, more than that, we are going to be partners now that everything is getting straightened out.”_

_The words sound honest and there isn’t much reason why he shouldn’t believe them but Clint tells himself he can’t. There are other people that he trusts, other people he cares about that he has no idea what has happened to them. If Rumlow really is his friend, he would tell him what has happened to Natasha and Steve. He thinks he says that part out loud because Rumlow shakes his head just a bit, speaks again._

_“We already talked about them a couple days ago and besides, they don’t really matter to you. The widow was more of a mission than anything and you and the captain weren’t that close.”_

_Clint doesn’t remember talking about them, doesn’t really remember what happened a couple days ago, and his memories of Natasha and Steve seem jumbled up, are hard to shift through. He just knows that they are important to him and he needs to keep that, has to keep that, or he loses a chunk of himself. He knows who he is and he has to keep ahold of that, can’t let what is being said to him take that away.He doesn’t say anything right now, just shakes his head. Rumlow just holds him a bit tighter, keeps touching him, and keeps telling him that everything is going to make sense soon and that Clint can trust him. He leaves after a little while, tells Clint he will see him again in the morning and Clint really wishes that he would stay away. Once the man is gone, Clint repeats words in his head. He isn’t safe here, he can’t trust Brock, and he doesn’t belong here. As long as he can remember that, he will be alright._

It is close to time for an evening meal and Clint sits on the bed, waits for it, ignores the pain in his head. It will more than likely be Natasha who brings it and Clint is weary of seeing her right now. She is one of his two constant visitors here, her and Rogers, and there are things that she has said that have started to get under his skin just a bit. He tells himself to ignore it, tells himself that she is just trying to get to him, wants him to doubt himself but it doesn’t help as much as it should. The truth of the matter is that sometimes he has doubts about Hydra, about his place there, and Natasha’s words have dug into the doubts, are feeding them just a bit. Clint reminds himself that as many doubts as he may have about Hydra, about Strucker, about a lot of things, that he can trust Brock and that has to count for something. He can’t let what she says about what happened before shake that. Clint’s head still hurts but he is trying to ignore, is thinking about what he can say to Natasha to stop the doubts he is trying to place in him, when the doors opens and it is not Natasha who enters.

“Was Nat busy tonight, Rogers?”

Clint says this with an almost bored tone and he watches as that look of slight hurt flickers across Rogers’s face that comes everytime Clint calls him Rogers. Rogers just shakes his head, moves forward with the tray and something else in his hands and sets them down on the table before speaking.

“Thought I would come tonight. Natasha isn’t the only one who wants to help you.”  


They keep saying that, keep trying to tell Clint that they are trying to help him and he knows that it is just a trick, that he doesn’t need their help. He knows who he is and he can’t let what they tell him try to change that. Still, there is something that confuses him with the way Rogers acts, with some of the things that he and Natasha say. They act like he was friends with Rogers and Clint doesn’t understand why they are doing that, what they could gain from it. For now, he simply gives a shrug.

“Don’t need any help, doing alright besides being a prisoner. ”

His head hurts but he isn’t going to tell any of them that. It is just a side effect of the injuries he sustained a while ago, the ones that left him confused for months, the ones that happened no matter what the avengers try to tell him right now. He knows that what they are saying happened to him is possible, he has seen Barnes’s files but he does not know why it would be done to him, can’t imagine what would be gained from it. His thoughts are pulled away from that as Rogers sits down across from him and speak softly.

“We are only keeping you here by force because there is little choice. I know you don’t believe it, but we are friends and I looked for you for months, looked for you just like I am still looking for Bucky.”

“Have you ever thought about the fact that neither of us wanted to be found?”

Clint says this, has said it a few times before and Rogers just looks at him for a moment.

“You might not have wanted to be found but there were still traces of you. The clearest picture before we found you in France was one at an icecream shop, you were with some people. Do you want to tell us who they were?”

Clint says nothing, doesn’t like the fact that they may know about the twins. He just keeps quiet right now and Rogers just moves something off the tray, holds it up to Clint.

“I brought this today, thought you might want to see it. There are a few more pictures in it from the last time you saw it. I will leave it here, you can look at it when you want.”

He puts it back down on the table now and Clint just stares at it, makes no move to pick it up. His head is throbbing still but he doesn’t let the pain show as he speaks again.

“Whatever drawings are in this book, it doesn’t change anything. We were never on the same side and we were never friends.”

Clint knows this, knows that there is nothing between him and Rogers, though he and Natasha keep trying to tell him different. Rogers just has that brief look of hurt again before he gets up, makes his way to the door. Before he leaves, he says one more thing.

“If you need to talk, we can. You’re going to get stuff figured out, I’m sure of it.”

That is all Rogers says and then he leaves the room. Clint is left alone and his head still pounds and the sketch book is right there. He wonders why Rogers has left it, what it could possibly prove and after a few minutes, Clint opens it, starts going through the pictures and he isn’t surprised when he sees pictures of Barnes, of people from Rogers’s past, but when he finds a pictures of himself, he isn’t sure what to think.

There are quite a few of them, him at the range, at various other places, but there is one that startles him just a bit. It is a simple picture, him sitting on a couch , cleaning a bow but it is the details of it that have Clint thinking just a bit, that starts to place a bit of doubt in him. It is his couch, the one in his old apartment, and the bow is not one of his combat bows but rather his old one from the circus. Not many people see that bow, Clint doesn’t let a lot of people into his apartment. Rogers has never been in his apartment, how the hell did he know about what they looked like?

He shuts the book, can’t look at it anymore, puts it on the table. His head is pounding and he closes his eyes now. It is a trick, has to be, but he is just a bit unsure now, still doesn’t know what Rogers gains from lying to him. Clint doesn’t have any answers right now but he knows he needs to get out of here, needs to figure out what is going on. For now, he simply lays with his eyes closed and tries to think of ways to get out of here.

_“Hey, Clint. How’s your head?”_

_The words are spoken softly and Clint looks up at them, sees Brock coming closer. He sits down near Clint, and he helps him to sit up._

_“Hurts, feels jumbled up, like I can’t quite remember things right.”_

_Clint says this simply, knows that Brock will want an answer. Rumlow always asks how he is feeling, always comes by to visit, and he hands Clint a glass of water now. He takes, drinks it down, knows somehow that there is nothing wrong with it and he can feel Brock’s eyes on him as the man asks another question._

_“You remember me, right? Know my name?”_

_Clint waits just a moment, wonders why he is asking. He knows him, he is one of the only people he seems to know here and so he answers the question._

_“Yes, Brock Rumlow. You’re my friend, my partner.”_

_It is the truth as far as Clint knows, the truth as he remembers it. They are friends, spent a long time together before they even knew they were on the same side, and once Clint is better, once he can do missions again, they are going to be partners. Brock gives him a bit of a nod and then asks him to tell him his name, codename, rank and clearance and Clint does._

_“Clint Francis Barton, Hawkeye, field agent, upper clearance, SHIELD.”_

_He says it but Rumlow frowns just a bit, curls fingers around the back of Clint’s neck, and it makes Clint wonders if he has said something wrong, if he is still confused about something._

_“You’re not SHIELD, that was a lie, a cover. You’re Hydra, you’ll know that soon enough. Trust me.”_

_Rumlow says this and it sounds honest but Clint isn’t sure about it. There is something just not quite right with saying he is Hydra but Clint isn’t sure what but he trusts Brock and he says so now._

_“I trust you.”_

_Rumlow gives him a bit of a grin and a nod and then he speaks again, words steady and sure and Clint believes them._

_“You can always trust me, I’ll help get you figured out. You are safe with me.”_

_He moves Clint’s head forward after he says this, crushes their lips together. Clint stills for a moment, something not quite right about how this feels, but then he returns the kiss, doesn’t see any reason not to. He is safe here, he trusts Brock, and maybe he belongs here. He is going to be alight._

.*********


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update has taken so long, I just have a lot of fics and sometimes I get a bit more involved with others for a while but this hasn't been abandoned. Hope people are still reading and comments mean the world to me.

_Natasha lies in a bed right now, stiff cotton sheets under her, a simple plain blue blanket on it as well, and there are off white walls and the buzz of medical equipment and she hates it. It reminds her too much of certain times in the red room, when she would end up in rooms like this and SHIELD isn’t the red room but that doesn’t change the fact that their medical rooms still make her feel unsure. She is going to be stuck here for a while, a couple of days, and she is going to have a scar on her hip. Natasha isn’t sure which hurt more, the bullet going through her or the realization that she failed her mission, that she couldn’t protect some one she swore to. Failure is not something Natasha is used to and each time it happens, it shakes her and this time is no different._

_She is alone right now, no doctor or nurse, and she has the tv on, is trying to distract herself from her thoughts, from her weaknesses. The wound still aches a bit even though it is dulled by the pills they gave her and she keeps replaying the shot in her mind. Natasha knows that there wasn’t anything else that she could have done but what she did, using her body as a shield, but the winter soldier is every bit as good as rumor says he is. He didn’t miss his shot and she only survived because she wasn’t the target, just a barrier. She is alive but she still failed and she probably won’t even be able to track down the soldier to try to make this right. The winter soldier is a ghost and ghosts are hard to find._

_“If you are sick of jello already, I brought some food. Not sure if you are cleared for pizza but I won’t tell if you won’t.”_

_Clint’s voice draws her from her thoughts and he is here now, walking into her room, shutting the door behind him. He has a of pizza boxes just like he said, a couple bags as well and he looks a bit tired, circles under his eyes and his hair is a mess but he gives her a grin as he walks over to her, sits stuff on the bed and then sits in the chair next to it._

_“Thought you were on mission.”_

_She says this now and he just gives a shrug._

_“It wrapped early and I found out about you. No one should have to suffer through SHIELD’s hospital food.”_

_He leans forward now and starts taking things out of the bags now. There are some drinks, some candy, a couple magazines, some paperback books, and Natasha just looks at all of them for a moment as Clint keeps speaking._

_“I got both peach and strawberry lemonade, thought you might want to try something new. There is also that lemon candy you like. Got some stuffed cheese bread but that is more for me than for you.”_

_He gives her a grin now and takes a piece of the cheese bread and she just sits for a moment, thinks about everything. She likes that peach lemonade, eats those lemon candies when she gets the chance, and even the pizza is loaded with veggies like she prefers. Clint brought these things for her, rushed here if his appearance is anything to go by, cares for her, and it is still a lot to take in sometimes. She feels weak right now and she isn’t sure how to deal with Clint, with everything he brought with him, with how much he cares._

_“You don’t have to be here.”_

_She says this, means it. Clint doesn’t have to be here just because she is hurt, it is her problem, not his. He just gives her another shrug and takes another piece of cheese bread._

_“I know. What are you watching by the way? Looks like a soap. Didn’t know you liked soap operas.”_

_It is a change of subject and Natasha goes along with it, tells him that she isn’t sure what it is and then she takes a piece of pizza, takes a bit. Clint stays the next few hours, eats with her, and they watch the bad tv show. They make up back ground for what is happening on the screen, each story more farfetched than the next, and it is all a bit of a distraction but Natasha finds that it isn’t so bad. She will worry about her weakness later, for now she lets Clint distract her and it helps._

Clint has been quiet since Steve showed him the drawings, hasn’t really spoken to either her or Steve and Natasha isn’t sure if it is a good sign or not. She thinks it might be, that the reason why Clint isn’t talking is because he is starting to have some doubts. Clint can be stubborn, Natasha knows this, and as far as she can tell, whatever was done to Clint, they tried to keep his personality intact for the most part. Clint might be having doubts and he won’t talk about them, not for a while but Natasha just hopes that they can get through to him soon. It is hard having Clint here but having Clint not be her Clint, her friend and it is taking a bit of a toll and she finds herself not sleeping very well tonight, finds herself in one of the living room type spaces, sitting and watching some bad made for tv movie to try to distract herself. It isn’t working out very well but a voice soon draws her thoughts away.

“Seems like nobody can sleep tonight. Want some cookies?”

It is Sam’s voice and he is making his way from the hallway, goes to the small little kitchen area next to the living room. She just gives a nod and then a few minutes later, Sam sits down next to her, puts a couple bags of cookies down on the coffee table in front of them. He reaches out and grabs one, makes a gesture for her to help herself and she does.

“Steve is up too then?”  
She asks now and Sam gives a nod.

“Saw him in the hallway, said he was going to the punching bags for a bit and then maybe check on Barton. I don’t think he likes sitting still like this and I think the incident this afternoon still has us all a bit riled up apparently.”

Natasha gives a nod of her own now, takes a bite out of a cookie and thinks about this afternoon. There was some deliveries early today, nothing that wasn’t already scheduled but there had been a slight anomaly in Jarvis’s readings, a bit more of a heat signature than there should be. It seemed to have just been a fluke but it was still something out of the norm and it did make them all a little nervous. Jarvis has been running diagnoses and it appears that was all it was, a fluke and false reading, but still it has set Natasha just a bit an edge.

“Jarvis hasn’t found anything but I want to look more into Rumlow’s whereabouts in the morning. He went to all that trouble to get Clint, I don’t think he is going to let him go that easily.”

Natasha says this and she means it. If all of this really does boil down to Clint being a prize for Rumlow, if Clint was taken and broken just so Rumlow could have him, then the man isn’t going to just let him go now. She hates the fact that Rumlow had gotten close enough to Clint to even start his obsession, that she had not noticed who the man really was. She feels weak again and it is always a feeling she hates.

“We’ll look into it. If you want talk right now, about Clint, about anything, we can talk. If you don’t, we can eat more cookies and try to find something decent on tv.”

Sam says this, is offering to listen or distract her and she takes the distraction now, hands him the remote. He gives her a grin and starts flipping through channels and he finds a slightly better movie after a little bit. They sit there and they talk a little bit but not about what is going on, nothing really serious, instead it is about the movie playing, about what they like to watch. They discuss the fact that neither of them has been to the theatre to see a movie in a while and that is when Sam gets quiet for just a moment before he turns to her. He is looking at her right now and there is something just a bit nervous about him, she can see it in the way he moves his hands by his side but he smiles just a bit as he gets ready to talk, a soft grin that lets her know whatever he is about to say isn’t anything bad even if he is a bit nervous about it.

“You know, maybe, when things are a bit more settled, and if you want to, if something good is out, you and …”

Sam doesn’t get to finish what he is saying, Jarvis interrupting him just as they hear the doors close shut.

“Agent Romanov , something has gotten into my system, the levels are sealing themselves up, all but the level that Agent Barton and Captain Rogers are located at right now. Those doors are opening and there appears to be activity in the tower. Someone has breached it.”

Natasha’s heart is pounding now and both she and Sam have rushed over to the entrance of the hall but they are already too late. The door is shut, sealed, and Sam is looking for a way to open it and she tries to help. Natasha needs to get out of this room, needs to get to Clint before someone else does but everything is a mess, Jarvis saying something about having to get rid of the virus by rebooting his system, and she is stuck in this room. This has been planned and once again she didn’t see it but right now, she needs to focus on getting out of this room and she can worry later.

*********

The sketch book has stayed here since Rogers brought it in and Clint finds himself flipping through it now, late at night unable to sleep, and thoughts a jumbled mess. It doesn’t mean anything, shouldn’t mean anything, but the pictures are of him, of his place, and they have talked like Clint spent time with Rogers outside of work, like they were friends. He doesn’t remember that, doesn’t remember being friends with Rogers and he doesn’t see why that would be something that would be wiped if true. Hydra would want all the info about Rogers as possible and if Clint was his friend, he would be able to provide it. His head is throbbing again and he really wishes he could just figure out what the hell is going on, just what lies he has heard, what the truth is. He is still puzzling over what could be gained from erasing his memories of Rogers when there is a noise that draws his attention away from thoughts and toward the door.

It opens now, opens up with out anyone on the other side, maybe a glitch or something. He isn’t sure if he should trust it, it might be some kind of trap or tick, but he has to figure out what is going on. He gets up, sketch book still in hand, makes his way to the door of the cell walks out of it . He makes it a few yards away when there is a blur of motion and then a backpack thrown at Clint’s bare feet, stopping him in his tracks.

“You might want to put on some shoes for your escape. Good thing I brought you some.”

Pietro is standing in front of Clint now, a bit of a cocky glint in his eyes as he gestures to the bag. It is a bit of a shock, the kid right here but Clint only allows himself to be shocked for a moment before he reacts. Clint gets out the shoes, pulls them on, pulls on a jacket as well, puts the sketch book inside it as he zips it up and Pietro is still talking as Clint does all of this.

“You know when you went on missions with us, you didn’t get captured. This makes us better partners, yes?”

Clint ignores what he is saying, asks a question of his own.

“What is going on? Is Wanda here too?”

Where one twin is, the other is not usually far away and there is a flare of worry. The twins came here for him, put themselves in danger for Clint, and it makes some guilt settle in his gut. Pietro just smirks a bit and gestures for Clint to grab the back pack now. Clint does, puts the straps on as Pierto answers his question.

“I told you, your escape is going on. Wanda is here, with Rumlow, they are seeing to something else. We need to meet them outside.”

Pietro starts to move, gestures for Clint to do the same but Clint stops for a moment, he feels like something bad is happening but he doesn’t know why. They came for him, he should feel relief and he does but there is something else mixed in, a feeling that maybe he shouldn’t leave, that he doesn’t actually need to escape. For now, he asks another question.

“What are they seeing to?”

“The Captain. They are taking care of Rogers.”

Pietro says this simply as he turns to Clint now and those words make something in Clint freeze. There is worry, worry for Rogers, and it is a strange feeling and he isn’t sure where it is coming from.

“There is a kill order now?”

He asks again, remembers that there wasn’t one before and there is relief when Pietro shakes his head.

“They are just making sure he can’t interfere, Rumlow saying something about a secondary objective but I don’t know what. We are wasting too much time. We need to go. I can get us out quicker.”

Pietro says this and before Clint can protest, he is being lifted up and everything becomes a blur.

_Clint is running, fighting his way out of here. There was a chance and he took it, fought off the guards near him. He is out of the building now, found an exit and if he runs just a few more yards he can get out of here but Clint stops, turns around and rushes back into the building. He can’t leave here alone and he just hopes he isn’t making a mistake._

_He makes his way back to the cells and he finds Wanda quickly. She seems just a bit startled to see him at her cell, to see him with the keys that he took from one of the guards but she comes to the door as he opens it, is looking at him now._

_“You are running now?”_

_She asks and he gives a nod and she only hesitates for a moment before moving alongside him, telling him that she isn’t leaving without her brother. Clint wouldn’t leave one of them behind and they find the other cell quickly enough, get him out. He could speed out, all three of them know it, but Pietro doesn’t, stays right next to Wanda as they start to make their way out, the twins gripping each other’s hands tightly as Clint leads them to the exit._

_The base is on alert now, guards coming and they just need to beat them to the exit, just need to get out of the base and in open space and it will be easier. They don’t make it there, get caught right before the exit and Clint gets shot with a taser. It hurts, the electricity shooting through him but he still manages to scream out some words for the twins._

_“Get out of here. Grab her, run.”_

_If Pierto grabs Wanda, runs as fast as he can , they might make it out here. They don’t run, move closer to Clint instead, don’t let any other thing hit him as he falls to the ground, as darkness claims his vision. He isn’t sure if the twins get hit or not, when he wakes up times has passed and he is restrained again and the man Clint is pretty sure has been called a baron before is in front of him. The man is looking at him with interest, curiosity and Clint wants to hit him but he is strapped down too tightly._

_“You had a chance to run but you came back. It appears you are rather fond of them and from their actions, they may return some of that fondness. Very interesting, if you ended up not serving the purpose you were taken for, I believe there may still be some use for you, once you are more willing of course. “_

_The man says this and then someone comes forward, injects something into Clint’s arm. It starts to take a hold quickly and darkness swims in his vision again and he knows nothing good is going to happen in the next few minutes._

 

 

*********

 

Steve had been on his way to check on Clint when everything started go wrong, Jarvis telling him that the tower had been breached, doors opening, and then something seemed to speed by. One minute, Steve had been standing and next something had slammed into him, knocked him down. It had felt like something colliding with him, like a person running into him, but he didn’t see anything. It had been a good hit, taken him off his feet, and Steve gets up now, knows that something is happening and he needs to get to Clint, knows that this has to have something to do with him. Steve is running now, making his way to the room Clint is housed in and as he clears one of the corners, he is tackled again, knocked off his feet once more but he sees his attacker this time, hears a voice he hates.

“Hey, Cap. Didn’t think you would see me for a bit did you?”

It is Rumlow, the man standing here in the tower, a smirk on his face and Steve doesn’t know how he got in here but he isn’t going to let him get to Clint. Steve is up quickly, on the attack and Rumlow is as well, dodges Steve’s hit but just barely. Rumlow throws out a quick kick and he speaks again as Steve moves away.

“You have something of mine here, have my partner locked up, I’m here to take him back.”

There is possession in Rumlow’s voice and Steve is angry, strikes out now and manages to get a hit, knocks Rumlow back a bit.

“Clint isn’t your anything.”

Rumlow just moves forward a bit, gives another hit. It connects with Steve but isn’t anything he can’t take.

“That is where you are wrong, Rogers. Clint is mine and he is going to stay that way.”

Rumlow says this and he is still throwing out hits but he is mostly just dodging Steve. It is like he is a distraction and just as Steve has the thought Rumlow gives a little nod in the direction behind Steve. He dodges the hit Rumlow throws after the nod and spins to turn to see what is coming to him. What he sees is a girl, her hands out in front of her and red light seems to glow around them. She throws them out quickly, the light moves towards him and hits him in the chest, makes him fall on the ground again. It was like a burst of energy and he hadn’t been able to dodge it and now before he can get up, more red light is being sent his way but this doesn’t knock him down, instead everything seems to shift around him and Steve isn’t sure what is happening.

It is cold, everywhere is cold and he can feel the icy rush of water. It is suddenly all around him and he can’t breathe. He is in the ocean again, in the cold water and it is turning into ice all around him, freezing too quickly and he can’t move. The ice is all around him, surrounding him and he can’t escape it. His body is stiffening up, vision darkening, and his last thought before he passes out, is just how cold it is and how familiar the cold is.

*********


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken a little while and it is a short chapter but I hope people are still reading and will enjoy.

Wanda did her job well, the captain is down for the count, unconscious on the floor and Brock gives him one more hard kick for good measures, right in the ribs, cracking one more than likely. It will heal quickly but it still gives Brock some satisfaction to hurt Rogers, to get a bit of payback on the man for having Clint here for a few days.   He looks down at him for one more moment before picking the man up, settling his weight on Brock’s shoulders.

“Are you bringing him with us? Why?”

Wanda’s question comes and she is staring at him with a bit of uncertainty now, hasn’t moved yet. They need to get out of here so Brock gives her a brief explanation as he starts to take a few steps, hopes she will follow.

“Secondary objective. Strucker wants to figure out the formula, we bring him the captain, and he shouldn’t try to lash out at us for not staying at base. Strucker wants a weapon like the soldier again and he has been talking about using someone else in his place, wiping someone clean and freezing them when he doesn’t need them, and he can use Rogers for that now, can stop hinting at the option I won’t let happen.”

“Who was he considering?”

Wanda asks and Brock doesn’t lie.

“Clint.”

He is looking straight at her when he says this and he sees a flash of anger in her eyes. He has been working the last few days of earning the twin’s trust, on giving them doubts about Strucker, and he knows that this is going to go a long ways towards that goal.

“That is not going to happen.”

She says this, grits it through her teeth and Brock just gives a brief nod.

“That’s right, it won’t. We’re not going to let it. Let’s get back, your brother and Clint are probably waiting.”

Brock is pretty sure they must be at this point, even with having to search the hall for Clint, Pietro will probably already be there with Clint hopefully.  Wanda just follows him and soon they are on their way to the waiting jet, prisoner in tow.

_Everything has been going well the last few weeks, the memories they have implanted seeming to work for the most part, and they are no longer keeping Clint in a cell. Instead, he is staying with Brock in his rooms, their rooms now, and it is almost everything that Brock wants.  Neither of them are ready for missions right now, the conditioning still a bit too new in Clint to trust him alone too long and Brock is not cleared yet, but soon enough they will be full partners in every sense and Brock is ready for it. Right now though, they train a bit, get Barton used to the base and today is no different._

_They are going down to the holding cells today, somewhere that just a short time ago Clint was very familiar with, and it is a test of sorts. They will be meeting the twins today, Strucker’s pet projects that have been exposed to the spear, the only survivors and it will be the first time they met them. Well,   Clint has already met them, almost got them out of here, but none of them remember that or at least they shouldn’t. Today they are going to introduce them and see if any more sessions are required for any of them._

_Clint walks beside him, a bit of tension in his shoulders, but he seems calm for the most part. Just a bit uncomfortable but Brock has expected that and not just because he was down here not so long ago. Clint is still Clint for the most part and he didn’t seem thrilled with the fact that there are kids locked up down here, didn’t seem thrilled about the experiments that were done, and he has said a few things to Brock about it but hasn’t tried to leave or fight.  They have changed his loyalty to Hydra, to its causes but he is still just a bit soft but Brock doesn’t mind. He was a little worried that everything might change him a little too much but so far he still has his quirks and his worries, his softness and Brock is glad of it, wants Barton and he is getting him._

_Soon enough they are in one of the rooms, one of the larger ones that is used for testing abilities.  Strucker is already there, gives them a nod as they approach, tells them the twins’s names and introduces them as well. There doesn’t seem to be any recognition for any of them and soon enough a training session is started._

_The twins are impressive for the most part, Brock will give Strucker that, they are powerful and are going to be quite the assets once they are trained up for the most part.   Brock just mostly watches them but Clint participates a bit, shoots some arrows for them,  laughs when they can’t knock them off course and smiles when they do, compliments them and asks questions the whole time. By the time they leave,  neither of them have really said anything to Brock but they do ask Clint if he will be back tomorrow. Clint gives them a grin and tells them he will try and there is no sign that he is aware that he has already spent time with them, no sign from them either and Brock breathes a little easier and holds Clint just as tightly that night._

The plane is in the air now, Rogers cuffed and given an extra sedative so he should be out till they get to base, and Clint is beside Brock, right where he should be.  He hasn’t said a whole lot, didn’t look particularly happy when they showed up with Rogers and when Brock touched his shoulder earlier, he had tensed up just a bit, shrug out of the touch after a moment.  He is still here though, took the bottle of water he was offered earlier and has been drinking it steadily, taking in some more of the conditioning drugs with out realizing it, and Brock is confident that whatever doubts have been placed in his head these last few days he will be able to get rid of them.

It is quiet right now, the pilot a bit away, Rogers knocked out and secured in the back, and the twins are resting, asleep beside eachother. The running sometimes takes a lot out of Pietro and Brock knows for a fact that neither kid has been sleeping much the last few days, worried about Clint, but now that he is here, they feel safe enough to sleep. It is sort of cute, the way Pietro lays with his head on Wanda’s shoulder, how Wanda lays slumped in her seat next to Clint, arm thrown across him. They trust Clint, adore him, and Brock thinks that it might be to his advantage to encourage it just a bit more. They did well on this mission, are going to be something in the future and he thinks it will be best if they are firmly on his side, Clint’s side and it looks like they are on their way to trusting him more.  If Brock plays his cards right, he could oust Strucker from his position in Hydra, take it for himself, and have Clint beside him the whole way, he just needs to play things right.

“You shouldn’t have brought them with you.”

Clint breaks Brock out of his thoughts with those words and Brock has been expecting them, looks over at Clint now.

“They asked to come with me, basically demanded it. Strucker was just going to leave you there, we couldn’t let that happen, wasn’t sure what they were going to do to you.  You seem a bit shaken up, they hurt you?”

Brock has reached a hand out now as he says this, placed it on Clint’s shoulder and Clint doesn’t shrug it off.  He turns and looks at Brock now, is staring straight at him like he is trying to figure something out and then he speaks.

“They didn’t hurt me, just tried to talk to me, showed me some things, test results and the likes, tried to connivance me that something was done, that I’m not Hydra, that I shouldn’t trust you.”

“Whatever they said to you, you know that you can trust me. Don’t let them make you doubt that.”

Brock says this, puts stress on the word trust, starts rubbing little circles on Clint’s shoulder. After a moment, Clint gives a little nod and Brock feels just a bit of relief right now.

“I trust you, just some things don’t quite feel right, and I don’t think I can trust Strucker. Do you trust him?”

There is just a hint of something in Clint’s voice, a hint of confusion and something else that Brock isn’t sure of, but right now he just takes a breath and then gives an answer.

“No, I don’t trust him. We have to pretend to though, just for a bit. Everything’s going to work out, ok?”

Clint just gives a nod again and Brock breathes a bit and then leans forward, takes a kiss. Clint returns and Brock knows that things are going to work out ok, leans back into his seat and lets his eyes close, lets himself relax.

*********

Brock’s eyes are closed now, he is resting just like the twins are, they are safe and on their way back to base and Clint should feel relived right now but he doesn’t.  They are taking Rogers back to the base and Clint knows that nothing good is waiting for the captain there and it is making him feel on edge. He knows that he shouldn’t care but the pictures are still fresh in his mind, are in the backpack Pietro gave him and he thought showing them to Brock but he didn’t. He trusts Brock, he does but something is just off and he just doesn’t feel right being here right now but he isn’t sure where he can go, what he can do.

Wanda shifts just a bit in her sleep and Clint looks down at her right now, thinks about what she can do. She is powerful, still figuring out the full extent of her abilities and maybe there is something she can do for him. It would be dangerous, Clint knows that, but it might be worth and he decides that when there is a chance he will ask her, get his doubts under control. For right now, Clint just closes his eyes and tries to push his doubts about everything to the side, focus on what he knows and that everything should work out.

*********


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a very long time but I hope people are still reading and comments are awesome.

They are back at base now, have been for a few hours and Clint doesn’t feel relieved like he think he should.  He is not locked up anymore, he is back with Brock and the twins, but something doesn’t quite feel right, a bit of unease has settled in his gut since they landed and it hasn’t quite eased. There was something about the sight of Rogers knocked out, drugged up, and chained that made something inside of him squirm just a bit, guilt and worry and that isn’t the only thing that has him unsettled. There was something about the way Strucker looked at him when they showed up, like he was trying to figure out if something in Clint has changed, and he had tried to get Clint to go to medical by his self but neither Brock nor the twins allowed it.  He got looked over with all three of them by his side and then they all went to Brock and his rooms, the twins only leaving a little while ago.  He and Brock are getting ready to rest for a bit and he still feel tense and uneasy as  they lay down and Brock wraps arms around him.

“I missed you, don’t know what I would have done if I lost you. You’re mine.”

There is possession in his voice and Brock’s arms feel tight around him, something feels just a bit off but Clint doesn’t know why. This is right, he knows this is right, so he shifts just a bit  so he can look Brock in the eyes.

“Guess that means you’re mine too.”

Brock gives a grin now, one that is almost a bit of smirk and his eyes are lit up just a bit, like Clint’s words please him something fierce.

“Damn right I am. How about you show me how much yours I am?”

There is a bit of challenge in his voice and then Brock leans just a bit closer and then claims Clint’s mouth. It is a bit of a rough kiss but that isn’t unusual for them and Clint returns it, grabs Rumlow’s wrists and shifts them both so that Brock is under him. It feels good but not quite right but he pushes his worries away right now, focuses on this, on Brock.

He shifts off of Brock now so they can both get rid of clothes and then he is pinning him again. Brock doesn’t mind, seems to be encouraging the roughness just a bit and when they really get going he makes a request.

“Mark me up, I want to feel you on my skin tomorrow. “

Clint does as he is told, bites a mark onto Rumlow’s throat. It doesn’t take much longer after that till they are both done and then they clean up and settle back into bed.  Brock’s arms wrap around him again and soon enough Clint can hear his breathing change to that of sleeping but he still can’t quite doze off himself yet.  His mind feels like a mess and he thinks about the notebook his bag across the room and he almost wants to get up and get it but he makes himself stay still. After a while, he does manage some sleep but it is filled with dreams that don’t quite makes sense, memories of Natasha and Steve that feel just a bit different than they should and he tries not to think about them as they get up and go about their morning.

Clint is left alone with the twins after a bit, Brock wanting to go see about something and he decides that now is the time to talk to Wanda about what she can do.

“When you subdued Rogers, you used his memories right? “

He asks and she gives a nod.

“Yes, I made him relieve it a bit.”  
“Do you think you could do that with memories that have maybe been changed, make the person remember what is real?”

He asks and she thinks it over for a moment before she answers.

“I think so. Why?”

Clint thinks about the best way to explain this to her, to them and decides on the truth.

“I think something has been done to my head, that I’m not quite me, and I need to know.”

“Did the avengers convince you of this? Rumlow said they would, you can’t trust them.”

Pietro says this and there is anger in his voice but also a bit of worry and Clint tries to soothe both of those emotions.

“They did say something had been done to me but that isn’t the only reason I think something might have been done.  The way Strucker watches me sometimes, it is like he is watching a puzzle or an experiment. Something just doesn’t feel right and I need to get to the bottom of it. Can you help me, please?”

He adds the please and both twins look at him for a long moment before looking at each other and he is pretty sure they are having some sort of conversation in glances and after a moment Pietro gives a small nod and then Wanda is speaking.

“I will try but not sure it will work or if it will hurt you. Are you sure it is worth the risk?”

He gives a nod now, needs his answers. She takes a breath and moves closer to him, gentle fingers settling against his temples and after a moment he can see the red glow, can feel it.  It is raw power and he feels like he is being ripped into and he has to close his eyes at the pain. Things are shifting in his head and suddenly it feels like there are two sets of memories there, memories that contradict each other, feelings of trust and betrayal shifting and it is too much. Darkness claims him as Clint tries to make sense of everything.

_Clint is still trying to make sense of how this has happened, how he has ended up in a base of some sort with people trying to restrain him.  His mission was a trap, he knows that much, knows he has been betrayed by someone in SHIELD, that something is wrong within SHIELD, but he doesn’t know what it is, who it is, and why he is a target. For now he keeps up struggling as someone else walks into the room, some of the agents trying to restrain him greeting him and Clint can feel betrayal and hurt run through him as he sees just who is here._

_“You traitor, son of a bitch. How long have you been selling us out?”_

_His words are filled with venom and he wants them to hurt, wants to hurt Rumlow. Clint has grown close to him, trusted him, and he is here now but not as a friend and Clint can’t believe he didn’t see it.  Brock doesn’t look that bothered by Clint’s words, just gives a little shrug as he moves closer._

_“ You can’t really talk. Who was it that brought the hellicarrier down again?”_

_Clint renews his struggles a bit, tries not to let it show how those words cut. Rumlow has never brought it up like that before and it hurts to have him spit it in Clint’s face now but Clint has a feeling that what happened to make him bring down the carrier isn’t anything like what is going on here._

_“That was different. Are you trying to tell me someone is pulling your strings here? You seem pretty in control to me.”_

_The restraints have been snapped into place now and Clint is forced to sit while Rumlow just gives another shrug. If he could, Clint would punch him right now._

_“I was assigned to find out possible threats and how to neutralize them. You were designated a danger, had to be removed. “_

_It hurts to hear those words, to know that all of this was just some sort of mission for him, that none of it meant a damn thing. Brock has crouched down just a bit during those words, is looking Clint straight in the eyes and Clint hates this, hates him right now.  He thought he had made a friend, maybe more, but all of it was a lie and he keeps all the hurt out of his voice now, speaks steadily._

_“So you decided to be the one to pull the trigger.”_

_Brock looks at him for a moment before getting up, shaking his head slightly and speaking again._

_“You are not going to die, I have different plans in mind. “_

_Those words are not exactly a reassurance and Clint is left alone soon enough, left alone to think. He just has to hope he can get out of here before those other plans are executed._

*********

The bite mark on his neck stings a bit but Brock likes it, likes having it there, likes having proof that Barton is his that everyone can see.  He has him back and has no intent to on letting him go and he is going to make sure everyone understands that. His first stop is to Stucker, just to get a feel on what the other man plans to do with Rogers and he looks just as annoyed right now as he did last night.

“Is there something you are needing, Agent Rumlow?”

Strucker asks, giving him only a glance before looking back at the information displayed on his screen .

“Just thought I would see if you had another mission  lined up for us since the twins and I completed a successful rescue mission, you might need our skills somewhere else..”

He keeps his tone light but has just a bit of a smirk on his face and this annoys Strucker a bit more. He probably shouldn’t antagonize the man but Brock still hasn’t quite come down from the high of getting Clint back and capturing Rogers.

“You are on stand down right now, as are the twins. That mission was not sanctioned and only the fact that it was successful is keeping you out of a cell. Now, why are you here?”

He asks again and Brock decides to give his real answer this time.

“Wanted to make sure I could go see Rogers without interfering  with any of your plans right now.”

He wants to rub it all in the other man’s face a bit, wants to remind him that Brock has won and he has lost.

“We have already drawn samples, you may gloat at him and I do expect Barton to have a check up soon without any of you by his side. I also need the twins to come run training exercises after you are finished. ”

Brock doesn’t argue with him right now but he knows that he isn’t going to let Strucker anywhere near Clint without him or the twins near by for a while but for now he just gives a nod and makes his way to the cells.  It is maybe a little petty to go see Rogers but Brock can’t help himself. The man tried to take away something that is his and Brock is going to remind him that he didn’t succeed.  He soon finds himself in the cell, across from Rogers who is still bound and probably a bit drugged but awake and his eyes are glaring daggers at Brock who smirks just a  bit.

“Glad to see you’re awake though I’m sure you have a bit of head ache, what between the drugs and what Wanda did. She got  a bit of power doesn’t she? She doesn’t like when people mess with Barton, neither of the twins do. Between the two of us, I think they might have a bit of a crush on him but that happens, doesn’t it Captain?”

He says these words as he moves closer to Rogers who glares at him and spits out an angry question.

“Where’s Clint?”

Brock just gives a little smile right now as he answers, moves his fingers to his neck and scratches at the bruise there so Rogers will notice it.

“He’s with the twins in our rooms, he’s glad to be back home, back where he belongs, back with who he belongs with. “

Rogers starts to strain a bit against his bonds now, no doubt wants to hit Brock, but they hold tight.

“This isn’t his home, he doesn’t belong to you. He isn’t some trophy for you to keep.”

There is so much anger in Roger’s voice, rage etched in his face right now and Brock just takes a step closer and looks him straight in the eyes as he speaks.

“He isn’t a trophy, he’s my partner. I have his back, I take care of him, and he is appreciated here, isn’t being held back like he was before.  He’s going to make a difference in this world, me and him and once we get the soldier back it is going to be even better.”

He wants Rogers to know that the solider is still going to be Hydra’s, wants to twist the knife just a bit more for  keeping Clint away from him for a few days.

“Bucky isn’t yours, doesn’t belong to Hydra and neither does Clint.”

Rogers’s words are said with such stubbornness and Brock shakes his head at them a bit.

“Barnes has been Hydra’s now longer than he was ever yours and Clint was never yours, he’s mine. It is something that you’re going to have to get used.  If I understand Strucker’s plans correctly, you’re going to get used to it, we’re going to be on the same side soon enough. Look on the bright side, you’ll get to work with Barnes and Clint again even if I’m not going to share them in any other way.”

He smiles at this and it makes the anger in Roger’s flare brighter, his thrashing increasing but Brock just smiles and walks out of the cell, doesn’t stay around to listen to Rogers’s shouts.  He’s won and nothing is going to change that.

*********


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments would be awesome and thanks for reading.

Steve can’t get out of this damn chair, can’t break the bonds and he has tried, has thrashed and strained against them since Rumlow left.  The man had only been here for a few short minutes but if Steve could have, he would have caved his face in, had wanted to so badly. The way he had spoken about Clint, the way he had spoken about Bucky, Steve couldn’t stand it.  There was possession in his voice, a sick sort of possession that he tried to make sound like care and Steve needs to get out of this damn chair, needs to get Clint out of here, needs to bash Rumlow’s head in but he can’t get the damn bonds to break and the door is opening now. Someone steps in and Steve doesn’t know him, doesn’t recognize his voice when he speaks.

“Hello, Captain. I thought I would introduce myself now that you are a bit more coherent. Baron Von Strucker, I have been looking forward to meeting you .”

Strucker is a name Steve has heard before, the one that was in charge of the base Clint was first taken to and Steve would love to punch him right now for his part in all of this  but the bonds are still holding tight. Strucker is watching him with a look of curiosity on his face right now.

“I had always wondered if what was used on the soldier would work on you as well, the bonds and the sedatives and it appears they do though you probably need another dose soon.  You are going to work with us soon, Captain, it will be better if you accept it now. “

He says all of this and Steve just glares at him.

“I’m not working with Hydra.”

Strucker just shakes his head a bit now.

“You do not have much of a choice, Captain, but things will be better if you accept it, perhaps even certain rewards can be given to you.  Think about it, Captain.”

He says this now and there are other coming through the door now, one of them with a needle which is placed in Steve’s arm again. More drugs are injected into him and Strucker and the others leave the room, leaving Steve alone again, drugged and struggling. He’ll figure out a way out of here, he has to.

*********

_Clint hates these stupid chains they have him in, hates the fact that he couldn’t get out of here, hates that he can’t reach across the small table and punch Rumlow but the thing he hates the most right now is how Rumlow has just admitted that Clint is here because of what they did with each other._

_“I won’t be  some toy for you.”_

_He means every word of it, he would rather die than just be kept around for Brock to do whatever he wants to him. Rumlow doesn’t say anything right now, just finishes up his slice of pizza, offers the box to Clint once again. It is a faimler gesture, the way he holds the pizza box out to Clint, he held it that way the first night they became physical and Clint is still angry at himself for letting the man get so close, for not seeing through him. Rumlow closes the pizza box, sits it back down on the table and then leans in a bit, smirks at Clint as speaks._

_“If I wanted a toy, I could have it. If I just wanted to fuck you again, that would be easy. This is a little bit different than that.”_

_“How’s this different?”_

_Clint asks, anger strong in his voice and Brock simply leans back again, voice calm as he speaks._

_“I like you, Barton, don’t want to keep you as just a piece of ass. Meant what I said about you being a valuable asset.”_

_He says it, makes it sound like the truth but Clint doubts Rumlow could tell the truth after lying for so long._

_“Yea, right.”_

_He mutters it under his breath but Rumlow still hears it,  smiles at it a bit like he used to with most of Clint’s sarcastic comments and just talks some more._

_“I meant it. We can make a good team, just not for SHIELD. I am offering you a choice.”_

_Clint can’t help but clench his fists now, wants to hit him so hard, can’t believe that he is going to say what Clint thinks he is going to say._

_“You could join us willingly.”_

_He makes it sound so reasonable, like he is suggesting that they go out for beers like they use to instead of asking Clint to be a piece of shit._

_“No fucking way,I’m not a traitor.”_

_Clint spits the words out, means every single one. Brock looks disappointed and he leans forward again, grabs Clint’s jaw so that he is looking into Rumlow’s eyes._

_“Soon enough, there won’t be anything left to betray. This is just giving you a chance to join the winning side now. “_

_His voice is confident, so damn confident and Clint just looks at him now, needs to let him know who wrong he is._

_“You will be stopped. I may be out of the fight, but the others will stop you. “_

_Clint knows that Rumlow is going to be stopped, has to be stopped._

_“Who is going to stop us? Fury? Cap? Widow?”_

_He says their names with a bit of disdain and Clint wants to hurt him so badly right now, wants to him but he can’t so he just speaks one simple wor._

_“Yes.”_

_He knows that Fury is going to stop them, knows that Steve is going to stop them, knows that Nat will stop them._

_A hard look settles in Rumlow’s eyes now, his hand tightening on Clint’s jaw, keeping his focus looking at him._

_“Fury’s dead. “_

_Those two words make cold rush through him and they can’t be true. Fury can’t be dead and Clint  doesn’t want Rumlow touching him right now and he tries to get out of the man’s grip as he keeps speaking words that Clint tells himself can’t be the truth._

_“Shot in Rogers’ apartment and Cap and Widow are on the run, I will be doing some of the chasing myself. Anyone who was SHIELD will be taken care of soon enough and nobody else knows what is about to happen. We will win.”_

_There is such confidence in Rumlow’s words and Clint can’t stand it, starts thrashing in his bonds a bit more, desperate to get out of them, to make Rumlow hurt for these words. Brock lets go of his jaw but he doesn’t move away_

_“Realize that, understand and accept it, decide to be a part of it and you can leave this room tonight, can help usher in the future.”_

_“No.”_

_It is one word but it says everything Clint wants to and he is trying to hit Rumlow now, wants to make him bleed. Brock just shakes his head at Clint, moves closer and is pinning Clint to the chair. Clint just needs one good shot, one good hit but he can’t get it right now._

_“I had hoped that you would just give in but in a few days it won’t matter.”_

_“Why because I will be dead?”_

_Clint says this, knows that is what will happen. Rumlow will offer him a chance to turn or to die and Clint is going to pick die._

_“I don’t want you dead, Clint, I want what we had before, just this time you will be on the right side. I am going to get it too, there are ways to change your mind. “_

_Brock’s words are confident and they send a chill through Clint and he can almost feel the spear touching his chest right now. Loki took Clint, twisted him u and made him follow a monster’s lead and he has to close his eyes now, can’t imagine it happening again ._

_“It is going to hurt but order comes through pain, you are going to understand that very soon.”_

_Brock says this and Clint really needs to hit him. He opens his eyes now,struggles some more in his bonds and utters two words ._

_“Fuck you.”_

_The words are filled with anger, with all the venom Clint feels right now and he throws his head back, gets ready to smack Rumlow with it but the man grabs the back of his neck, won’t let Clint headbut him._

_“You will soon enough.”_

_Rumlow claims his mouth with those words and Clint tries to move away but he can’t. Instead he opens slightly, just enough so that he can bite down, makes Brock bleed. The taste fills his mouth, bitter and salty, and it doesn’t help but at least he is able to inflict a little bit of pain on him right now. Rumlow moves away now but he is smiling as he wipes the blood from his mouth, turns towards the door and he says two words as he leaves._

_“Hail, Hydra.”_

_Clint shouts and twists in his bonds, will get out of here somehow, has to get out of here._

 “He’s waking up, I think he is going to be ok.”

Those words are the first thing Clint hears as he starts to wake up, as the darkness retreats from him. His mind is still a bit of a mess, conflicting memories jumbling up and he thinks it is going to take a while to sort through all of them but he has a feeling that everything he thought the last several  months has been a lie and that is going to be a lot to deal with. Right now, he focuses on opening his eyes and facing the twins, looking at Pietro who spoke the words earlier and then Wanda. They look worried and he wants to soothe just a bit.

“I’m alright.”

His voice is shaking and he knows that it is far from the truth, he isn’t alright, but he isn’t sure what to tell them yet.  Clint remembers trying to run with them now, remembers them all being bound and  hurt together as well as training them and meeting them with Strucker for the first time.   His memories were messed with, he knows that now even if it is hard to know which memories he should trust, and he knows that their memories must have been altered as well but he isn’t sure how to tell them that yet, how to get them out of here and there is an immense amount of guilt that he couldn’t get them out of here before. There is also guilt knowing that Steve is here and part of it is Clint’s fault. He can remember Steve now, can remember spending time with him, caring for him and it is so at odds with what he  felt earlier. Wanda speaks now and it draws Clint’s attention back to the twins instead of his thoughts of Steve.

“Did it do anything? Did Strucker have something done to you like you thought he may have?”

All he can do is give a short jerky nod, just enough of an answer right now to make both twins frown just a bit.

“We can’t let anyone know about it yet, have to figure out what to do first.”

“What about Rumlow? He’s your partner, shouldn’t we tell him?”

Wanda asks now and the mention of Rumlow’s name brings a feeling of cold through out Clint, a feeling that is at war with the trust he has for the man.  He betrayed him, Clint remembers that, remembers befriending him and getting intimate with him before all of this and it is strange how those memories mostly remain the same, it is just so much after their friendship started that was changed. This is Rumlow’s fault, he had a hand in all of this, but Clint doesn’t know how to confront him yet so he just shakes his head right now.

“No, it is best if it just stays between us now.  I have to think a bit, give me a few minutes.”

He gets up now, goes to the bathroom, tries not to get sick. It is all a lot to take in, the  memories coming back, having to question everything from the last several months, knowing that he has hurt people he cares about, and trying to figure out what to do. He needs to talk to the twins, maybe he can get Wanda to try to unlock their memories as well but he isn’t sure that they won’t be stopped if they try to leave base and he really needs to get Steve out of here as well.  He leaves the bathroom after a few minutes and when he walks back to them, the twins are no longer alone.  

“Hey, you alright? Look a little pale.”

Brock says this as Clint comes closer to all of them and his voice is all concern and Clint really doesn’t want to be around him right now, his feelings and memories about him are a damn mess but he can’t just leave, has to still play his part till he can figure out how to get out of here. He just gives Rumlow a small smile and tries to hide what he is really feeling.

“I’m fine, just been a few rough days, haven’t even been  able to touch my bow in a while. You have it here, right?”

He asks, knows that they didn’t have it at the tower and Clint would feel  better with it in his hands,feel better he is armed. Brock just moves closer to him,puts a hand on his shoulder and Clint makes himself stay put, makes himself not move away.

“Yea, I have it, we can go to the range if you want now.  Strucker wants the twins to show up for some training in the west gym. Better get to it.”

The twins both give a nod but they linger for just a moment and Clint wants to tell them to stay, still needs to let them know about what is going on but there is too much of a risk to do that in front of Brock so he just gives them a little smile and nod.

“Go ahead, it should be ok, we’ll come by and get you soon.”

Clint says this and then the twins are leaving him alone with Rumlow who is smiling at him  and Clint tries not to grimace it at it.

“We have a bit of alone time, still want to shoot of just stay in?”

He asks this question, brushes a quick kiss against Clint’s mouth, and Clint knows exactly what Brock is asking about and it makes Clint feel a bit sick but he tries not to show it. He just gives a little smile as he speaks.

“Shooting now, need to hold my bow, been too long.”

Brock accepts this, just gives a little nod and Clint feels  a little bit of relief and Brock shifts away.

“I have it near the range, in one of the equipment closets. Let’s go reunite you.”

Rumlow says this, heads to the door and Clint follows. Soon, he’ll have a weapon and he can figure out where to go from there, needs to get Steve out of here, needs to get himself and the twins out of here, and then he can make sense of everything later.

*********


End file.
